Masturbation will make you blind and crippled - Let's finish it

Discussion in 'Science & Society' started by Happeh, Jan 23, 2006.

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  1. leopold Valued Senior Member

    hug a tree
    masturbation WILL NOT cause you to go blind PERIOD.

    there is a link but you would be on a starvation diet in a third world country
    and sexual intercourse will cause the same symptoms
    even this statement is misleading

    i can find no medical evidence whatsoever of
    masturbation causing blindness

    to say masturbation causes blindness IS TOTAL BULLSHIT ! ! !
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2006
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  3. hug-a-tree Live the life Registered Senior Member

    Yeah, that's what I thought. Nothing bad can come of it. Well like it making you blind and so on.
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  5. Happeh Registered Senior Member

    Let's try another approach. Have you ever heard the term Right Winger? It is a term used to describe people who are conservative, with a tendency towards violence.

    I plainly said that excessive masturbation makes people violent. They lose touch with their emotions so they need to hurt others to make them scream. They can feel strong emotion.

    Please inspect this picture

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    These men are publicly identified as right wingers. Correct? These men are involved in killing and hurting people. Correct? What else are they doing? They are making the sign of the loser. Correct?

    Now all we have to do is use our brains, we are scientist after all, to finish this up.

    What arm are they using to make the sign of the loser? The right arm. Is that a coincidence? They are called right wingers and they make the sign of the loser with the right arm? Of course not. There are no coincidence. Please inspect the next photo.

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    The reason that right wingers are called right wingers is because they make the sign of the loser with their right hand. And the sign of the loser looks like the wing of a bird. This is indicated by the red lines traveling from the head, thru the upper arm to the elbow, back up the lower arm to the head.

    Happeh Theory says people who masturbate too much make the sign of the loser with the masturbating hand. They lose touch with their emotions so they need to hurt people.

    Right Wingers can be observed to make the sign of the loser with their right hand. Right wingers are known for being willing to hurt others. They fit the symptoms of Happeh Theory.

    Happeh Theory and common wisdom agree. Excessive masturbation makes you want to hurt people, make the sign of the loser with the right hand, and makes you want to be a right winger.

    This post scared hell out of a right winger board I posted at. They hated me for it. Because they were all right handed and they all knew in their hearts that they did masturbate. And did I mention that they all constantly talked about violence?

    I can find cultural instances of the recognition of Happeh Symptoms everywhere. I can't wait until I show you the next one. I will make you cry when you realize I am 100% correct in my theory.

    Then I will jump up and down like the kid you think I am, point at you like a child, and laugh uproariously. Because someone you thought was a child proved you and your superior intellect to be nothing but egotistical hot air.
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2006
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  7. Communist Hamster Cricetulus griseus leninus Valued Senior Member

    I think happeh is just trying his hand at political satire, although I haven't read the other thread so I can't be sure.
  8. Hercules Rockefeller Beatings will continue until morale improves. Moderator

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  9. mercaptan Das Feuer liebt mich Registered Senior Member


    I am trying to go about this in a scientific manner. Please respond if possible.

    1. Would you consider it a true statement if I said that the majority of people who masturbate, use their dominant hand (meaning whichever hand they write with)?

    2. You seem to have plenty of pictures of people's heads when not in the perfect 90° vertical position. Have you considered these few variables:
    a.) camera angle - picture was not taken at a perfect horizontal position.

    b.) the relative postion of the person he is speaking to to where he is - meaning would you agree that if the person is to his right, he would have to "atleast" rotate his neck (not speaking of slanting - just a simple rotation)?

    c.) Woud you agree that people can develop bad back posture through bad habits of slouching in his/her seat and thus having weak back muscles that would support proper sitting posture?

    d.) Please combine situation b and c by slouching foward onto a desk and pretend you are speaking to someone who is at a sharp angle to the left of you. Would your natural "comfortable" head position not be slightly tilted to the right?

    e.) Can a human casually look around his environment (say the sky, an airplane, the stars) without ever finding himself in the tilted head and/or body being leaned past his/her center of gravity position?
    - could it be possible to take a picture of such a person during this event without knowing the context of what he or she might have been doing at that moment? Thus leading to picture ambiguousity and therefore third party photography should be mainly excluded from use in research.

    f.) Can you confirm that when a dog is confused or in the process of trying to process information, the dog tilts its head? Have you ruled out the possibility that humans behave in such ways when pondering a question of some sort that requires critical thinking? - Perhaps a human would ponder a question while looking into the sky and tilting the head in a manner that would incorrectly identify he or she as suffering from Happeh symptoms.

    g.) As a scientist to a fellow scientist - is it possible that your theory could be incorrect?

    And finally, if I may add some general comments.

    Usually in the scientific community, one's goal of proving a theory is to gather data that has merit. You have many subjects - mostly them being in third party photographs of course. Speaking in terms of masturabation only - do you know if your subjects engage in masturbation activities on a regular basis? If not, how could one draw a correlation chart linking masturbation and some of these symptoms if the subject has not been documented as to revealing how frequently they engage in masturbation? Would or could this be considered assumation tactics?

    Finally, I believe you are committed to your theory which is a good thing. I do not critize it for being potentially right or wrong. I notice these effects daily so it is quite common in our society.

    If I could make any suggestion, it would be that you gather subjects randomly, make them take a test answering several good thought out questions regarding their daily and past life (if they are forced to give their names they might not answer honestly so you could make it anonymous). After organizing and analyzing the data, you could have another note their observations of the subject. The subject shall not know the reasons he or she is being observed so that they do not change their physical behaviour in any way.

    This would lead to some interesting research. I can't believe you haven't gotten around to doing anything like this thus far. I would be way excited to see some proper scientific results from you. You are a master of your theory in theory, now work out the research in terms of tests and experiments. I would imagine your goal is to verify your own theory. I could not imagine anything else.

    Good day.

  10. Hercules Rockefeller Beatings will continue until morale improves. Moderator

    A waste of time and effort, I'm afraid.

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  11. leopold Valued Senior Member

    he's phsycotic, thats no joke
  12. leopold Valued Senior Member

    happeh? a scientist?
    HAHAHAHAHAHA stop it mercaptan your killing me HAHAHAHAHAHA
  13. Happeh Registered Senior Member

    You guys just make this too easy. I am going do dance on your head and maybe do some trampoline bouncing as well.

    If you go to the other thread, I said I wrote to the FDA and told them that their information about one eye blindness and Viagra was related to the old wives tale don't masturbate. I may have told them about Happeh Theory. I do not remember. It doesn't matter, cause they could trace my IP, then find Happeh Theory at my website.

    I also wrote to about 8 different scientists about Happeh Theory. I have been writing about it for 5 years now. Happeh Theory says excessive masturbation is linked to heart attack. I posted a link to a study on erectile dysfunction and heart attack. I did that to prove there is a link between the penis and the heart as I claimed.

    Just a few minutes ago, ANOTHER study about erectile dysfunction and heart attack was released. Guess who funded it? Pfizer. The makers of Viagra.

    I think someone read Happeh Theory, and is testing it to see if Viagra is going to give people heart attack or make them blind. Pfizer needs to know if Viagra will expose them to future lawsuits or not.

    "Erectile dysfunction (ED) affects approximately one in five American men, appears to be associated with cardiovascular and other chronic diseases and may predict severity and a poor prognosis among those with heart disease"

    What I find interesting is the phrasing "Appears to be associated". They know it is, but they cannot explain why, so they say "appears". I can tell them why. I can't tell them medical names of things inside of the body. I can show them why sex is linked to heart attack on any person they want to provide as a model.

    "the presence of ED is common and is a strong predictor of clinically significant coronary heart disease

    "A third study of Canadian men visiting primary care physicians indicates that about half of them report having ED, and that it is linked with cardiovascular disease, diabetes, future heart disease risk and increased fasting blood sugar levels"

    So there you have it. Studies out the wazoo indicating that sex, the penis, is involved in heart health just as Happeh Theory says. The study also associates the penis and sex with diabetes and increased blood sugar levels. Happeh Theory said stomach or other internal troubles are caused by excessive masturbation etc.

    I am going to crow about this until I die. How I came in, talked like a polite person to people, got kicked around like a crazy on the corner, and ultimately was proved to be 100% correct.

    I bet I can sell my story as a movie script.
  14. leopold Valued Senior Member

    well what are you waiting for? christmas?
    go sell it. goodbye. sayanara. get out of here
    don't let the door hit you on the ass.
  15. Communist Hamster Cricetulus griseus leninus Valued Senior Member

    Except for one tiny detail: those studies do not mention masturbation in the slightest, so you are in fact 0% correct.
  16. leopold Valued Senior Member

    they also don't mention anything about looking at someone and saying

    you are a sad sack happeh
    anybody that is so hung up on masturbation like you are . . .
    i don't know man
  17. leopold Valued Senior Member

    it's realy neat to beat my meat while setting on the toilet seat.
  18. Happeh Registered Senior Member


    Howdy. I hope this is stimulating.

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    Yes to both questions. I am aware of the possible angle of photography. It does not influence the symptoms the subjects display. I understand that it may be necessary to turn the head to see something. If a normal person turned their head, it would look a particular way. If an unhealthy person turns their head it looks different.

    The concept is trivial. Think of anything that works on a ball and socket joint. A healthy person's head can be described as sitting on the ball. When it turns to various directions, it does so smoothly with physically measurable and caluclatable angles of movement and position.

    If the ball is damaged somehow, a chunk is taken from one side, no matter where the head turns, it will be off. It no longer turns smoothly. It does not fit tight on the ball so it hangs at angles and moves in ways that are not according to design specifications.

    Most of Happeh Theory is based on analysing the human body as something like a machine. Set up to move in very particular ways. If the parts of the body move in some way not according to design specs, there must be a problem inside somewhere. It is easy to see from the outside of a machine if it does not work right. If you have a flat tire, your car shudders. If a person is broken inside, they limp or shuffle or twitch or whatever. The only real difference is complexity. You can look and see a flat tire. You have to go to a doctor to tell you what is located inside of your body at the damaged location that is visible from the outside.


    Yes. I answered this above. About the head looking wrong or right no matter what direction it looks in.

    There is probably someone somewhere. I think you are saying it would not be possible to look up without something tilting. I agree with that.

    No. I posted the pictures I did because they are obvious examples. The idea is to be as obvious as possible so untrained people can see. The same symptoms will be visible on anyone, no matter if the head is turned, or if they look straight up and down. It will be harder to see the symptoms if they are straight. That is the only difference.

    Finally. Someone who has taken the time to think thru the possibilities.

    Have you considered what it is that causes the dog or person thinking to tilt their head? If you know the answer, you understand Happeh Theory.

    I am not an official scientist. I think and act like a scientist so I self label myself a scientist. I understand you request for a measure of my confidence.

    I am 100% correct in my overall theory that excessive masturbation, excessive sex, excessive physical exercise, drug snorting and drug injecting all affect the body negatively in a specific, repeatable and verifiable way.

    I am 100% correct that excessive masturbation will cause some percentage of men to develop gay tendencies, develop one eye blindness, develop a weak arm and a weak leg, be at risk for hip replacement in old age, risk of heart attack, risk of Alzheimers, choking and breathing difficulties and many other negative health conditions.

    I am not a surgeon. I cannot tell you names of parts inside of the body exactly that control what is going on. I can generalize about the inside of the body and what is occuring. I have written a book using my own words to try and describe what is happening inside of the body.

    I do not know exactly what assumation tactics are. If they are what they sound like, that is what I do. I assume they masturbate. I assume they masturbate in the same way a doctor assumes a person with a black lung X ray smokes. His experience tells him so, even if the patient denies smoking. Masturbation is a personal and embarrassing subject. It is not likely people will discuss it openly in front of a crowd. It would be quite difficult to gain admissions from people.

    This is a good idea of course. Others have mentioned it. I do not have a million dollars or a research lab. Finding the people to cooperate would be a difficult, expensive and time consuming undertaking. That is why I need to find someone who can fulfill all of that to believe me. All I really care about is people know that I wrote my theory and did my best to tell everyone. I don't want to do the grunt work. I know I am right, I don't need to prove it to myself. Let the doubters spend the time and money to convince themselves.

    But they could always send me a check cause I inspired them.

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  19. Happeh Registered Senior Member

    Do you believe that your penis is a thing that hangs on the outside of your body? Like a clothespin you clip to your skin? Many people do.

    The point of the story is that Erectile Dysfuntion happens to the penis. The study says there is a link between ED and the heart. That means the penis is linked to the heart in some way.

    For a person who thinks their penis is a clip on like a clothespin, this could be a startling discovery. That the penis is connected to the heart and heart attacks somehow.
  20. Communist Hamster Cricetulus griseus leninus Valued Senior Member

  21. Hercules Rockefeller Beatings will continue until morale improves. Moderator

    Are there elves and pixies in your fantasy land, or is it just comprised of crooked withered masturbators and big virile strapping non-masturbators?

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    Last edited: Jan 24, 2006
  22. leopold Valued Senior Member

    then why you fucking intelligent moron does snakelord still has his money?

    you are such a stupid fucking dumbass.

    what is it with you happeh? why are you doing this?

    i noticed that happeh is deleting his posts
    there was a post of his between this one and the one above
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2006
  23. leopold Valued Senior Member

    in regards to happehs "face reading" i direct you to the following

    pay particular attention to this from the site:
    They not only ignore all the data from the neurosciences that contradict their beliefs, they do not systematically attempt to test them in ways that might prove them false.
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