Marching orders

Discussion in 'About the Members' started by chimpkin, Jul 22, 2011.

  1. Me-Ki-Gal Banned Banned

    What are you psychic bug ? That was amazing . Evidence right here in time slots of the computer. Am I missing something ?
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  3. adoucette Caca Occurs Valued Senior Member

    Well if someone else loves you, then maybe you should consider that you aren't as bad as you think you are.

    Sure thing.
    Loving someone makes you vulnerable.
    But it's worth it.

    So you are saying your wife loves someone who isn't worth loving?
    I'd give her more credit, after all you love her, so her opinion should matter.

    No they are not, like you said before, you hold yourself to a high standard.

    Good, then you don't have to look like a Barbie doll and can still be ok.

    Well the infection is over and they do make pills for insomnia, but the reality is you need to learn to like yourself as you are and you'll probably sleep better naturally

    Not sure I understand what you are trying to say.

    Well you can only deal with now, not what might happen.
    So relax and deal with what you can deal with, not with what might happen.


    Yeah, begoinas are peaceful, but who wants to have the emotional range of a potted plant?

    Well buy a magazine or two and do it yourself...

    My guess is you don't like what you see in the mirror because of who it reminds you of, more so then what you actually look like.

    There's not an artist on the planet who hasn't felt somewhat the same, as they are all hypercritical of their own work.
    What do others think of it though?
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  5. Varda The Bug Lady Valued Senior Member

    dud I think what you need is a cold shower
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  7. Stoniphi obscurely fossiliferous Valued Senior Member

    I want you all to know that I have just thoroughly enjoyed seeing all of you - Arthur inclusive - go about 1 toke over the line. Very creatively though, I must add.

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    Sometimes it is important to recall that teh internetxors is just a system of tubes and none of us are real. :shrug: I recommend medication.

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  8. NMSquirrel OCD ADHD THC IMO UR12 Valued Senior Member

    Imperfection does not equal worthless, if you were perfect you wouldn't need anyone else in your life.

    what did you do?
  9. Varda The Bug Lady Valued Senior Member

    dude the internet is totally real
  10. chimpkin C'mon, get happy! Registered Senior Member

    Yes...remember, people hurt me and frighten me.

    So, I get furious at myself for any vulnerability.
    Needing means "Able to be taken advantage of, dependent."

    Needing something from someone has cost me a lot once. So I get angry at myself for it now? I get angry at my lack of strength.

    Heh, I don't need drugs to be this weird, I can do it cold sober:bugeye:

    That used to work. Now, not so much-on 3 happy pills, not happy.

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    Maybe time to try different class of happy pills?
    The county people will not prescribe lithium, I wanted to try that.

    If you can't tell a bunch of anonymous strangers the truth, while hiding behind a pseudonym yourself, who can you tell the truth to?
  11. Me-Ki-Gal Banned Banned

    I just want to be loved. No worries Melisa and Angela the star Love Me and gave Me hugs . Yeah just got back from the meet and things are progressing . Those girls are Hot whippersnappers full of unbound energy, So no don't need a shower now , or to say maybe a warm shower . Oh sweet Melisa . Man she is hot . What a slinky little shirt . Even Angela the Star commented on how nice her shirt was. It looked like an old ripped rag to Me . I don't know is that style now ? Like the edges were very tattered . Been shattered brains been battered , Fire Fire, GO ahead bit the ?

    O.K. O.k. move along nothing to look at here
  12. chimpkin C'mon, get happy! Registered Senior Member

    Mikey, you may, in fact need a cold shower. Then go harass your wife. Then another cold shower. You are entirely too frisky.

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  13. Dywyddyr Penguinaciously duckalicious. Valued Senior Member

    Ah! That explains me, then.
  14. Stoniphi obscurely fossiliferous Valued Senior Member

    The larger question, in my mind, is what exactly is the truth? :shrug:
  15. chimpkin C'mon, get happy! Registered Senior Member

    Heh, I believe that's the sort of thing we argue about in the philosophy forum, no?
  16. Me-Ki-Gal Banned Banned

    I was trying to cheer you up . Me Wife said I have turned into the eternal optimist. It was not about the sex . It was about being wanted . There are plenty of us that find value in your life . We look up to you . Now as far as dependency " that is it right there. Am I an Island . Why would I be mad at the world ? I spend a lot of my life mad . It was from my isolation . That is why. To feel not included . Left out of the joy of Communion. I could have very easily dropped off into the dark side and pulled a Timothy McVeigh. How much anger was in me . Well you can get feel by my callus expression in a time of someone else need . What did I learn that changed . It was Me not them . I was not dependent on anything . Now I am dependent on everyone . Like a baby . We are all babies . We are dependent on each other . I am dependent on you . You satisfy some of the dependencies I crave and need . We need your voice is what all boils down to . Your voice is strong and the world cries real tears to hear it . Like babies
  17. wynn ˙ Valued Senior Member

  18. wynn ˙ Valued Senior Member

    Can you acknowledge that despite all this pain and suffering that you are going through and that are obviously real, there is also an element of perversely enjoying this torment, a joy in feeling lost, decreipt, imperfect?
  19. Stoniphi obscurely fossiliferous Valued Senior Member

    Now this has become very Zen, and I like that a lot.

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    Me - Ki, you are are you Chimpi.

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    I see that the madness in this place is motivating you...and this is a good thing....

    He said, adjusting his glasses as he jotted down notes while she lay on the couch telling her story...... :itold:

    Lithium is effective in moderating + & - mood swings if you are bipolar, or if it is in the form of Khunzite, cut and polished into a specular gemstone.....a very nice colour of pink.
  20. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

    Its what you think is correct to you. That's your truth that you use to base your reasoning upon.
  21. wynn ˙ Valued Senior Member

    Physically, I look like my uncle, whom I hate and despise.

    But really, it's not about the physiognomy, it's the energy one emanates.

    You can see this for yourself by doing some simple exercises - and see how the similarity dissipates.

    For example:

    1. Take pictures of yourself with a digital camera. Do a series once a month or so. Make grimaces, smile, a wide range of things you can think of doing with your face. Think of different people while you do this - the people you hate, and the people you love. Then upload the pictures to your computer and look through them every now and then.
    After a while, you'll learn to relax your face and to smile genuinely.

    2. Record your voice with a portable recording device, such as an mp3 player. (I have already given you a link to Cheri Huber's method of recording and listening.) Record little bits of yourself speaking, and then listen to them.
  22. wynn ˙ Valued Senior Member

    Myself and others have been giving you unsolicited advice. Earlier, we had a conflict over this.

    But please understand that if you keep coming to this forum, posting frequently about your personal issues or in threads on such issues, this looks like a cry for help. And then people will try to help.

    There is this dynamic of reaching out to others, and then feeling uncomfortable when they reach out in ways that were not desired.

    I think it would help if you'd clearly say what you want, so that people can have an idea of what to give you.

    Whether you want help, advice, someone to commiserate with you, to give you money, to fix the pollution problem, to hug you, to clean your house, dye your hair ... whatever it may be that you actually want, however non-PC that desire may be.

    But if you're not telling people what exactly you want, how can they know, and how can they give you what you want?
  23. chimpkin C'mon, get happy! Registered Senior Member

    I'm...not quite sure what I want, or how to go about getting better this time around.

    I basically wanted to simply say I'm determined to get better, having found a reason? I guess I was feeling good about having a reason.

    I believe I am supposed to hate myself.
    That I'm not worth struggling for
    That I don't deserve to be happy.
    In fact the opposite.
    That there is something innately loathsome about me...and every imperfection is evidence.
    I think "If only I could not screw up so much, I'd be ok."
    I don't do excellently, I am worthless.

    So I don't get better and unfortunately flail around in distress.
    I understand from the outside that has to be really annoying.

    So I was ...apologizing?
    For getting on everyone's nerves.
    Yes, that's it.
    I feel ridiculous.

    Not that I was faking, mind.
    I've been fighting the urge to kill myself off and on for at least 2 years and several med changes.

    That last time when I got angry at was just prior to...PTSD coming back. So it really felt like you were blaming me for being a victim.
    I was treated as worthless by several someones at different times.
    The first one when I was quite small, so it rather formed my self-image.
    I really don't know how to stop agreeing with them.
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2011

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