Love and emotional unavailability...

If you met the person of your dreams "soulmate" but circumstances were wrong for you both to be together how would this affect any other potential relationships you have to come afterwards??

 

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Is love an illusion? Or is it the only thing that is real?

 

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Romantic movies & movies are often unrealistic.

Love and good relationships do not happen: They grow or evolve.

Lust can happen at first sight & later result in a love relationship, but love at first sight is interesting fiction.

BTW: My teenage years occurred in an era when dating did not occur prior to high school, typically not prior to age 13.

I attended a coed boarding school for grades 9-12 in 1943-1947. Two of my classmates started dating in the first week of their freshman year. They married after graduation & went to the same college. They stayed married for the rest of their lives. I am not sure if both are still living as of June 2015

Classmates & I have often wondered on alumni day if they stayed together all those years because they lucked into a long term good relationship or because neither was willing to try to cope with developing new relationships.

Dealing with the singles scene is often a bit scary for some folks, especially if an early steady relationship has prevented much experience..​

When friends of mine were concerned relating to steady relationships involving teenage children, I always gave the following advice.

BTW: The standard reaction of parents is very likely to invoke teenage rebellion which is always there as children grow toward adulthood.

 

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These opinions of yours is really confirming my suspicions I believe I can make the divorce rate go down but I still can't help individuals like myself that are emotionally unavailable...

Sorta like backwards time travel.

 

I believe we all have millions of soulmates. All that needs to happen is when you 2 meet you both have to be in a position to accept each other. If you are not ready then it can happen with the next solmate you meet. The point is, and this is vital, don't give up.

 

No, it is not an illusion and it is not the ONLY real thing.

 

I met my soul mate Jenny the meerkat but laws prevented our marriage perhaps they will allow marrying animals soon.

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Am so curious as to how my social experiment will work lets see if I can bring down the divorce rate!

 

Geez that's really sad my situation mine never got as bad as the person dying, i will explain my situation in a bit it was none of the above.

 

I've experienced love at first sight. It was unrequited, but it was real.

 

musings of an old man:

Love is, when assuring to the comfort of the beloved brings you joy.

 

Ok my situation is something like love at first sight but the women I met just turned out to be really good friends with another girl that had a big crush on me for years and they both were there the same night, it was so awkward while I was chatting with the girl of my dreams I never thought could exist her friend kept on looking at us so akward and to top it off right when I was going to ask for her number the bouncers and the promoter made haste to evacuate the place because I think someone had a gun and was about to shoot someone else there was a scufle with the guards and some other people ,just my luck it killed the moment I felt the moment die it was so strange. Then obviously everyone ran outside this great night of a lifetime was ruined just like that I couldn't find her afterwards and the only contact I had with her well you know her really good friend that I would assume did not want me to talk to her in the first place. I was never even going to go to that party in the first place some one forced me to go it was like a movie, amongst many highly attractive young ladies she some how stood out and these women were probably some of the most attractive ladies I could have ever seen. The best part was her looks was the least important part of the attraction becuase as time went on I did meet two or three other women I was just as physically attracted to but the spiritual part sadly did not exist. That was 8 years ago when I was in my youth. The worst part about it is 8 years later and I am still not able to feel that way about anyone else if I could then I would get married that is why I am not married I feel it would be unfair for me to marry someone for the wrong reasons like just because they may be really beautiful or offer me money which happened before I of course declined the offers. So it sucks because I can't feel anything am probably just going to get married for the wrong reasons but hey I could look at the bright side I won't be living forever eventually I will die and it all will be over with so why complain it's hardly a need just a selfish want like many have.

 

I guess I could become quite cynical.

 

Fraggle I can't help that I dont feel anything, I have accepted my faith, it's so strange I just know when a women is going go start liking me but I pretend I don't know. Then eventually they tell me it sucks because my technique to stop them from liking me is to not let them get to know me on a personal level, but once they do it never fails they always end up liking me. I started hanging out with lesbians and the same thing still happens I just wish the women that start liking me that they were the one. It's ok life is not perfect am too old now I guess I may eventually settle like most people do, if they are willing to admit that or not. But don't blame me it's not my fault if I could change how I felt I would. I agree with spider, what he said. People think they know it all yet the divorce rate keeps going up plus everybody seems to keep getting into fraud relationships for the wrong reasons why would that make me any different or worse than all the rest?? Most people commit infidelity wheater they lie about it or not most won't admit this they will take it to thier grave but I blame society for teaching people to be frauds just to fit in and get accepted that is where it all starts.

 

The person of your dreams, is just that; they are a dream. The unconscious mind, through firmware connected to romantic love, will project onto reality, adding overlay features and feeling to the beloved, that are in more in the mind of the dreamer, than of the reality of the beloved.

The firmware projector is why, when people fall in love, many wake up one day wake up and think the other person has changed. The other is still the same, but the first person never saw their reality, until they woke from the dream and saw this was now not the same. All their friends saw this, very early, because they did not have the dream maker active to cloud their mind with love.

If you met your soul mate; girl of your dreams, but circumstances don't allow you to connect, this can result in the dream perpetuating, since there will never be a reality check. The dream can be reinforced, by choice, because it can generate internal feelings, with one falling in love with their own soul; projector of the movie. It can then be hard to find love outside in reality, when one is faithful to a love that is inside. The outside will not have enough access to the dream maker to smooth the rough edges of any reality person.

 

You even called her (him?)

No there is no him she is my spiritual companion.

 

It's not about her it's about how her presence motivated my feelings what we all live for is inspiration not matter the source.