Nuclear waste has a known decay rate. You on the other hand, `nurture your damage. You wallow in it. You seem to like it, and hate those who threaten it. Your pretty, pretty damage. "Everyone look! Everyone see! Look how sad I am! Pity me! It's YOUR FAULT you know." I wasn't even born yet when you were being hurt. I had nothing to do with it. You don't seem to care about Ophiolite's pain? Why not? Did he not suffer enough? Do you want his suffering to be greater than yours? Is that what would make it fair? Do you want to hurt me? Should I or my family be killed to appease your sense of correctness? Make us suffer. Show us what it's like to hurt like you do. Would that make you feel better? Sure maybe for a minute, but then it wouldn't be good enough. You'd have to find someone else to hurt.. someone else who doesn't relate to the depths of your damage. You can make them pay for their innocense! Make them pay because YOU were so wronged. Yes the bullied becomes the bully, except this time it's justified right? It doesn't matter that we didn't even exist when you were hurt. It only matters that we weren't hurt and don't kiss your ass because you say it hurts. We are guilty of not being you, of not collapsing under the strain of our lives. What lives do we sub-humans have anyway? I have no problem with you besides your attitude. I wish you no harm except a change of mind. If you want to call that harm, it's harm and I'm your bully. When you jump into a thread defaming me and saying that myself and someone whom I respect are idiotic charlitans, you're a fool not to expect strong objection. You have been called pathetic, loony and prone to violence because you are. That is connected to your experience, but isn't the reason you are labeled as the asshole you are. You are damaged goods, and project your damage onto those you hate. As is obvious by your entrance, you hated me before ever coming into the thread. I have no idea what I've said to you in the past. Considering your venom, I'd guess I must have verbally bitch slapped you regarding something in politics, where I vaguely remember seeing your username. I'm not even sure about that. All I know of you is a username and a horrific personality introduced in this thread. You use being bullied as a crutch to gain sympathy. I find that practice reprehensible, and your presentation utterly self-serving and devoid of worth. Good luck getting your shit together.
Actually, Wes, you're making a whole lot more than you need to out of me telling you that I think you act like a bully and that you have one of the worst needs that I have seen in a while to go fuck yourself. You're pulling too hard at this. You need to give your lungs a break, let some of the smoke out, and use your brain just a little more. Where do you get this "kill your family" thing? I remember saying neutering, which the vet assures us will improve behavior, even if I am more afraid of you biting me than ****ing me. No, I'm not buying into your latest rant here. You and Ophiolite, but especially you, have been getting worse and worse as this conversation goes on. If I say something I'm a psychopathic serial killer. If you say something your golden fecal matter doesn't stink. The fact is, as I see it, that even if you don't think you are a bully, and you don't want to be a bully, you haven't seen into your own thoughts and actions well enough. You have a whole list of programmed responses in you that you need out if you actually want to achieve the goal of not being a bully. Then you have to find out what the alternative to being a bully is. It is a lot like teaching color to a blind man. I hope it's as if the blind man can acquire vision by teaching him a little at a time. So what is it again that makes it correct for you to call me pathetic and all that? When you are not a bully, how does it occur to you? Your analyst must have a fascinating time of it. A lot of the stuff you say sounds like suggestive selling, too, but I'm not sure whether you are trying to sell me or the silent majority of the readers of this thread. And I think you're making too much out of what I say when you accuse me of wallowing in it. Were you also the one who complained that I didn't provide enough details? Excuse me all to hell, but how am I going to tell the story? I wasn't falling for that kind of verbal trickery when I was 6 years old. You don't feel danger from me because of anything you actually think that I might do. It's what I reveal that makes you feel danger. You feel so much danger that strange things are popping out of your head and you're seeing things that aren't there. Again, why in hell would you think things like I want to come kill your family because I think you might be a bully and I think I can prove it? Does everyone who thinks you're a dickhead do that? Do you think that I should do that? If it's the latter, you need to see someone, damn fast. I've been trying to tell you that you need some kind of help. There's no shame in that. Most of the human race does need some help. Anger management should be taught before it gets out of hand. The reason I look like I'm obsessive-compulsive is because I know what is killing me and I think it's curable, but for the cure to have much effect, it has to be shared with the human race. It's a disease that you haven't heard of, and that so-called scientists and government hacks took pains to bury the knowledge of. This beam in your eye is also a stick up your ass, and don't ask how because I understand almost no hyper-dimensional geometry. You have an emotional plague like so many people do, and it makes you see things. This plague does not like to be cured. It does not like to be treated. It inspires mothers to beat children with their fists and people who should know better to become Republicans. It inspires people to see violent solutions to everything, even if the US had any significant number of cruise missiles left, which it doesn't. It inspires people to be unable to see the consequences of their actions. It probably even inspires people to talk in theatres. It keeps people from being able to see what is missing in themselves like, "We've got Iraq. What the bleep are we going to do with it now?" People who don't know how to raise children aren't going to get very far trying to violently tear down a country and rebuild it from scratch. It inspires people to become parts of religious death cults and to hide that knowledge themselves. It also, and very importantly, inspires people to attack and see evil in anyone who wants to change things for the better. This is where you are, Wes, and you need to stop fooling yourself.
Last request M. I ask it calmly and politely. I have repeatedly stated that I too was the victim of bullying. I have never denied that bullying takes place. I have never claimed that it is right. I have never stated that you were not bullied. Yet you have repeatedly come out with statements such as the one above. I really do find that offensive. It seems we are wrong to criticise you (you choose to call it criticism, so I'll agree for the moment), yet it seems to be acceptable for you to persistently make claims, as above, that are not valid. That are demonstrably invalid. That paint inaccurate pictures of my statements and my motiviations. 1. Why? 2. Is it, by your standards, fair?
dear oh deary me.....tis thread is unbelieveable.......if yo could hear yourselves morris, oph, and tothers who have joined the bully gang. ....it is quite a revelation you actually ARE bullies. no fukin doubt about it. and as usual totally htpocritical too. this mans constant projection. you will droolingly lay into your 'victim' wit all manner of aggression, insult...etc and ten accuse HIM of it!.....read a post where old morris is calling MetaKron an 'it'...and goading him to kill himself your eyes ae glazed and you have lost all reason and compassion. you are lost lot lost ....all we can do is watch you ravin with contempt
most of the above. i went through a bullying phase at second school. my life was in a mess, but i couldn't mention it...it was taboo. children can get trly truly mindfuked as i watch ADULTS doin their stuff here, it is like watching viscious little kids
OK, since you seem to actually be able to settle down to a real discussion, Ophiolite, I considered your abuse of Duendy a few pages back to place you firmly in the bully category especially since you backed Wes's verbal abuse. I think you need to back away from the use of these techniques. One thing I insist on also. If it's good for Wes, it's good for me. He's so grown up, let him set a better example here. Do you actually claim that you were a victim of bullying after being head-butted once? If you did make that claim or I think you did, I'm going to give you another half page of the same that I've been giving you. You don't have to wallow in it, just give me a broad outline. Show me that you have even one clue about what I went through. For me the abuse started around the time I was two years old. I can only guess whether my mother was having marital or financial difficulties, but she used me as a punching bag, a lot. When she flew into her rages, she would beat me for what seemed like hours, take me long past the point where I could see clearly, and she would often use her fists. I weighed 30 pounds, maybe less. If there was any way I could even contrive to put a pretty face on it, I would do that right now. Actually, maybe I have. How can I explain to you being forced to hyperventilate by being forced to scream as loudly as I physically could, with absolutely no chance of controlling it, and being kept in that state past blackout? It just went on and on past even the point of sadism. It was very much like she wanted to kill me and I just wouldn't die. She did many other things to hurt and humiliate me, as if to punish me for having suffered her beatings when I was small, or just to drive it in. The abuse at school started when I was about six years old. I never learned why he started getting the gang after me, but they would grab me, shove me around the circle until I was disoriented, and he would kick me in the gut. They made this an almost daily ritual. There were some slack periods, but with variations, the routines like this kept up through most of high school. I almost never had any sort of opportunity to talk my way out of any of this, so there really was no use ever attempting it. You had better believe that when I got the chance with a certain someone, I gave him a pounding that he would never forget. It still wasn't that stressful for him. He was one who started the habit of accosting me every day after school one year and showing off to the world that he could beat me up and I could do nothing about it. What I really should have done was count the number of times that he did this and return the favor on an equal basis. I have been punished many times for being in fights that I had no chance on Earth to prevent, and that I would have prevented if I could. My mother and the school forcibly gave the bullies charge of my life, to the extent that they would punish me severely for annoying them by smashing their fists with my face. If someone stole my hat, my mother would punish me. She would punish me if she found out that I was in a fight. I remember quite often freezing helplessly and starting to cry before a fight even started. They weren't really fights. Most of the time someone would just start pounding on me and keep it up until they decided to do something else. There were also many many head games. They put fears and phobias into me that I couldn't even find out about for a long time, and rooting out and destroying those fears and phobias is exhausting work. There also seems to be some sort of Azrael syndrome going. It is possible for them to trigger my body to try to die without me being able to do a thing about it. I learned this the hard way. They did it to me four times in two weeks. I think I had a heart attack a couple of months ago. The reactions I have are not voluntary. They were placed there by intensive conditioning. Like any other disease, it takes time, energy, and resources to heal. The perpetrators actually took an opportunity to do me again when I was doing my level best to "get over it" and they made absolutely certain that I knew who was doing it and exactly how they were doing it. I can't give you details, and I could give a damn if you trust if I am telling the truth, but those details are proof against any kind of debunking short of deliberately ignoring evidence. I will not hold myself responsible for the deliberate sabotage of my work, deliberate emotional abuse, or the fact that the one who orchestrated it hid just around the corner and got other people to do his dirty work for him. This is also just one more time that I have been given firm evidence that paranoids become that way because people force them to be that way. Just a brief outline: Put them in a surreal, painful situation and force them to deny the reality of that situation many, many times until it becomes impossible for them to deny it anymore. A man can go insane simply from that turning point when he can't deny it anymore. He is forced to not adapt to reality in any normal way, as it is presented to him. He is forced to take it all at once with no tools to deal with it.
Duendy, you're right, and I think at least one person's two inches is becoming three inches when they read this. A lot of bullies are like Wes acts, maybe actually believing that they can make someone get better by shoving them around like that. I've certainly known teachers like that, who not only seemed to think that shoving kids around and threatening them helped them, but also lying about what they are doing. It's hard to believe what I've been reading in this discussion. Why would some of these people even allow themselves to be seen talking like this?
WO, you've had a rough old time ofit mate. really sorry. Awful about your mum.....IF ythere is ONE person in tis world you needs to able to trust it is your mum the total insensitivs maincially frequenting this thread-----who i see as like a gang spittin in your face, and oters joining the fray.....they dont LISTEN. watch and see.....they wont have one ounce of compassion (which means SHARED SUFFERING boys) for your sharing of your traumatic story. No, they'll begin laying into you again, tellin you to be a man like what they are....to fight any weakness--as they sees it imagine tis scenario in real life. we are all sat in a circle, and are sharing our stories. one does, and it is really traumatic. so what do they do....? instead of listening...they throw more abuse at ya. one after ythe other lining up. how the livin fuck does tat help anything. it is disgusting behaviour. if you saw it in kids you would tell tem, but you expect adults to have learned at least SOME fukin thing. it is scary to tink they have kids themselves! in answering Quack's questions about bullying, i failed to mention one crucial point. about 'scool'----------school can be likened to the microcosm of the sick culture you graduate out into. it is exactly formulated to dehumanize us!........so we get the environment where cildren are FORRCED to attend these institutions, and are taught by teachrs who are also victims of the system....what a scene hey. soooo, we havelike an open prison. this is what i said that kicked all this aggressive shit off from them eariler int thread---------it is like a open prison, and ome of the bigger kids there, wit teir own homie problems are pissed of to be forced to go to tis dreaded place--wit its mind numbingly lieing boring drivel. so. who do tey pick on? the othe kids who ALSO hate theplace and have homie problems ...right.///////now. te school itselfis under pressure to achieve, so as to get punters brining their kids to it. so they want a GOOD IMAGE. tey dont wnatno revelations of BULLYING. so hey will cover it up, obfuscate, and BLAAME THE VICTIM, who is usually only one......annnnd obviusly, in teir calcuations and plans wont be much use in te soceiety they are priming the kids for, which is BASED on bullying and corruption of all kinds!....see the problem?
And here I'll make a broad statement that doesn't address a single thing you actually said, but suits my political sensibilities about what a piece of shit sub-human my argumentative opponent is. You are bad. I am good. You aren't even a person. You'd better not react, or I'll do it again. Never will I engage you, I'll just take broads swipes and smirk. I'm not going to hear what you mean or care what you say to object to my swipes. I will marginalize and characterize you in a manner that suits the continuation of my agenda. That's not bullying either. You are dumb for saying so.
Perhaps they line up because of their own experience with the story. They have found a way out, and are pained to see you repeating their old mistakes. They fear having to re-experience the horror through reading about you voluntarily relinquishing control of your life and actions to your attackers from years ago. Perhaps their emotionally motivated response is because they have something useful to give you. You can deal with the symptoms in the hope of gaining some measure of short-term pacification. I'd rather suffer the short term in hopes of finding a cure; not just an aspirin. Why do people impose their power on others?
I'm pretty fucked up in an ADHD way (my A-Level results are 'ADD' Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!) but I've learn to STFU about it! From the looks of ppl in this thread I can't be that bad, but I do have major trouble being arsed to get assignments done and concentrate in uni.
At least now you're being more honest. I'm sorry Wes, but "tough love" leads to sadism way too quickly, and you crossed that line before this conversation started. The next thing I know you're going to blame your behavior on me. I'm also pretty certain that the one who started the crap that pushed me out of my job would talk like you do, too. He's a real sweet talker.
I'm asking everyone. Why do people impose their power on others? Does anyone have an idea on this topic? Duendy: I used the word "perhaps" for a reason. Are you so sure of your view that you would not use such a clarification?
Another side of any form of attention deficit is the inability of the teacher and the material to engage your interest. They don't know how to actually train people to pay attention and they don't usually know how to make their presentation interesting. Attention is both a skill and an art. It isn't something people learn by being blamed, punished, or drugged.
And here I'll make a broad statement that doesn't address a single thing you actually said, but suits my political sensibilities about what a piece of shit sub-human my argumentative opponent is. You are bad. I am good. You aren't even a person. You'd better not react, or I'll do it again. Never will I engage you, I'll just take broads swipes and smirk. I'm not going to hear what you mean or care what you say to object to my swipes. I will marginalize and characterize you in a manner that suits the continuation of my agenda. That's not bullying either. You are dumb for saying so.
I disagree. There is too much unknown in this world to be so certain of one's self to *not* use such terms. To claim knowledge beyond uncertainty would suggest to me false confidence.
I take the time to read and re-read every word you have written in this thread, not once, not twice, but several times. I take the time to think of what words or approach may allow me to get through to you with what I think is perhaps (to use River-winds apposite word) useful, even life changing thoughts and advice. But it appears you cannot take the time to read what I write, properly, even once. Being head butted was not bullying, it was a simple physcial assault. I have no intention of detailing the many incidents of bullying I suffered - they are personal. I have already given more than I would be accustomed to give by even mentioning them at all. They were not as severe as what you describe, but nor are your traumas as severe as those suffered by others: its not a competition of 'who suffered the most'. I can empathise and sympathise with what you have been through. Why the fuck else do you think I am even bothering to try to offer advice, for which effort I am being continuously insulted by you and Duendy, having my character called into question, being berated for everything I say, being accused of all manner of evil thoughts and deeds. For fuck's sake you don't think that is bullying? You don't think you are bullying me? The only thing that stops it from being bullying is that I choose not to be bullied by you. I understand that those attacks come from pain. I therefore disregard the vitriol they contain. It stems from your pain. That's fine. I can overlook it, but please recognise that your actions in this respect are little different from those of a bully. You have established a rapport with Duendy: that's good. If you find the exchanges of ideas and thoughts is helpfull I am pleased for you. However, over the course of almost a year I have interacted with Duendy on numerous occasions. I find her unpleasant. That is putting it mildly; I am sure she feels the same about me. I view that as a compliment. I am talking to you. I am not talking to Duendy. Please leave that issue out of our discussion. You say you think you had a heart attack a couple of months ago. That's a pretty weird thing to say. Do I assume that since you have not confirmed this with a doctor that you do not trust any doctor to give you an honest diagnosis? If this is not the case then I am simply confused by your statement. You said "Show me that you have even one clue about what I went through." Well would this have any relevance - I get fired by an individual who has been out to get me for ten years and is finally in a position to do something about it. This happens during a massive downturn in my industry, so that no other jobs are available. I find another job - different industry -initially at an annual salary that does not even cover my mortgage payments. The owner of this business is a bully with a capital B. I feel I have to knuckle down because I have a wife and two young children to support. The abuse and criticism become so continual that I come close to a breakdown. I eventually got out. I just said 'enough is enough'. When I suggested the same technique to you, you said I was abusing you by offering that as a suggestion. By the way, the stress was enough that even once I got out I still managed to have two strokes. No, I guess you are right. I couldn't possibly know what you have been through. My best intentions just make matters worse for you. As I said earlier. Good luck. You'll probably believe it as much this time as you did then.
It looks like there's hope for you yet, Wes. When you gain more insight, you have a chance of actually using it.
