Limericks: Preferably humorous

Discussion in 'Art & Culture' started by Dinosaur, Jul 3, 2014.

  1. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

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  3. Michael 345 Bali 1 week here 2 to go Valued Senior Member

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    I often eat peas with my hunny
    She eats her peas with honey
    She has done so all her life
    Because it keeps them on her knife
    Even though they taste quite funny

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  5. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

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    ///
    I'd rather have Fingers than Toes,
    I'd rather have Ears than a Nose.
    And as for my Hair,
    I'm glad it's all there,
    I'll be awfully sad, when it goes.

    <>
     
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  7. Michael 345 Bali 1 week here 2 to go Valued Senior Member

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    I have pretty toes which smell
    My nose when its not well
    Runs like a tap
    Doing a lap
    I've been built upside down, oh hell

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  8. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

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    ///
    How many cakes can a cake baker bake
    If the baker bakes for sake of the cake
    If all the cakes fill the oven
    And all the cakes are made with lovin'
    How many cakes can a cake baker bake?

    <>
     
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  9. Michael 345 Bali 1 week here 2 to go Valued Senior Member

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    A baker so wanted to make
    The world's best ever cake
    Had with his girlfriend a love in
    He put a bun in the oven
    Which will take 9 months to bake

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  10. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

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    ///
    How many tastes can a taste tester taste
    Would repetition make a waste
    Will good taste taste bad after a while
    And bad taste make her smile
    How many waste tastes can a taste tester taste?
    <>
     
  11. Michael 345 Bali 1 week here 2 to go Valued Senior Member

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    The test taster was pissed
    And his tasting he missed
    He got them all wrong
    While singing a song
    As he danced off into the mist

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    7:30 am breakfast time
     
  12. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

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    ///
    As he danced, he tried to grab the mist
    But he missed & missed & missed
    He danced & pranced all round the town
    When he finally had to sit down
    What was left in his left fist?

    <>
     
  13. Michael 345 Bali 1 week here 2 to go Valued Senior Member

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    As he tried to capture the mist
    At the same time still being pissed
    As he danced out of town
    He looked like a clown
    As he kissed his wrist with a twist and missed

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    Breakfast ✓ coffee coming up
     
  14. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

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    ///
    Well, how long could he persist
    In prancing & doing the twist
    Dancing & popping up & down
    Sometime he must come unwound
    Then what is left in his left fist?

    <>
    Need to go get supper.
     
  15. Michael 345 Bali 1 week here 2 to go Valued Senior Member

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    He danced although all alone
    But he tripped and fell on a stone
    He used his right hand for his head
    As he staggered to bed
    In his left fist is best left unknown

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    Coffee soon
     
  16. Michael 345 Bali 1 week here 2 to go Valued Senior Member

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    Dear sir you have it all wrong
    We Aussie's are incredibly strong
    We need no nails in the ground
    Our toes keep us Earth bound
    As well as the grip of our dong

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    Getting coffee now
     
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  17. Dr_Toad It's green! Valued Senior Member

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    You really need more. A limerick has five lines, but you're well on the way to an ode after six.

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  18. Michael 345 Bali 1 week here 2 to go Valued Senior Member

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    ???? Who?

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  19. Dr_Toad It's green! Valued Senior Member

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    You. Coffee. Nothing but a jibe..
     
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  20. Michael 345 Bali 1 week here 2 to go Valued Senior Member

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    For a moment I thought my dyslexia had spread to maths, so apart from my atrousous spelling and inability to remember names, I was loosing count of how many lines I wrote

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  21. Michael 345 Bali 1 week here 2 to go Valued Senior Member

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    Ode after six
    It just seems it clicks
    But I think we need more
    As I pace on the floor
    To go up to seven
    And get closer to heaven
    As I stand at the gate
    I just thought of eight
    Go up to nine
    I'm going sublime
    But I'm stopping at ten
    No ink in my pen
    For this now run out ode
    Sincere thanks Dr Toad

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  22. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

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    ///
    He woke with a start in the night
    Had a fart that did not feel right
    He opened up his left hand
    And saw something he could not stand.
    The mist in his fist was a fright.

    <>
     
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  23. Dr_Toad It's green! Valued Senior Member

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    Almost.

    He woke with start in the night
    With a fart that didn't feel right.
    He opened his left, and felt quite bereft.
    Then opened his right,
    And the mist in his fist was a fright.

    Sorry for all the edits. This is tough for the geriatric mind...
     

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