Limericks: Preferably humorous

Discussion in 'Art & Culture' started by Dinosaur, Jul 3, 2014.

  1. Michael 345 Bali in Nov closer Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,232
    There was a sick fellow called Gus
    On trips he made guite a fuss
    On the train or a bus or a plane
    He was clearly in pain
    He sat on a boil full of mush

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  3. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    15,322
    ///
    I must confess
    I'd never guess
    That such rhymes
    So many times
    Manage to impress.

    <>
     
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  5. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    15,322
    Ow, oh woe, groan and moan
    I refuse to be a clone
    Sally and John and Mary and Sam
    Do not want me to be what I am
    To most people I am unknown.

    <>
     
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  7. Michael 345 Bali in Nov closer Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,232
    Am I one, two, three or four
    Five or six or maybe more?
    Wherever I look I keep seeing me
    From deep inland to shiny sea
    Keeping track of me is a bore

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  8. sideshowbob Sorry, wrong number. Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    4,257
    Ya gotta be in the right mood
    To write a lim-ER-ick that's gooood.
    A bad one is easy
    But not quite as teasy
    Unless its a little bit lewd.
     
  9. sideshowbob Sorry, wrong number. Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    4,257
    A member of SciForums thought
    He'd refute any theory you've got
    But the others just laughed
    And said he was daft
    Or some kind of Internet bot.
     
  10. sideshowbob Sorry, wrong number. Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    4,257
    There was a young graduate student,
    Who thought that research would be prudent.
    But when he took his turn
    To recite what he'd learned,
    He suddenly found that he coodn't.

    (See also the God and Soul in Quantum Theory thread in Pseudoscience.)
     
    Last edited: Aug 3, 2018
  11. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    15,322
    ///
    There once was a farmer from Leeds,
    Who swallowed a packet of seeds.
    It soon came to pass,
    He was covered with grass,
    But has all the tomatoes he needs.

    <>
     
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  12. Michael 345 Bali in Nov closer Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,232
    There once was a farmer so mean
    He wouldn't give you a bean
    So many beans did he eat
    That his arse it did bleat
    And the pee he put out was so green

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  13. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    15,322
    ///
    A canner, exceedingly canny,
    One morning remarked to his granny.
    A canner can can,
    Anything that he can,
    But a canner can't can a can, can he?.

    <>
     
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  14. Michael 345 Bali in Nov closer Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,232
    A caddy exceedingly baddy
    One morning remarked to his daddy
    "Dad can a canner do the can-can
    In a place where there is no can-can?"
    "Can-can where there is no can-can? Yes laddy"

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  15. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
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    ///
    There once was a man named Brice,
    Who had a nasty head full lice.
    He said, If I eat them,
    Then I'll have beat them!
    And besides they taste very nice.

    <>
     
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  16. Michael 345 Bali in Nov closer Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,232
    There once was a man who was iced
    His body looked just like Christ
    Well at least he's not dead
    His followers said
    And the process was reasonabley priced

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  17. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    15,322
    ///
    My neighbor came over to say,
    Although not in a neighborly way,
    That he'd knock me around,
    If I didn't stop the sound,
    Of the classical music I play.

    <>
     
  18. sideshowbob Sorry, wrong number. Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    4,257
    In Canada, the Land of Ice,
    Where winter can be not so nice,
    We slip and we slide
    (There's nowhere to hide)
    While muttering Jesus H. Chrice!
     
  19. Michael 345 Bali in Nov closer Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,232
    My neighbour who came over to stay
    Knocked me up in a neighbourly way
    Now together we are bound
    To raise our son who is sound
    That will teach us to play

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  20. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    15,322
    ///
    There was a young lady of Cork,
    Whose Pa made a fortune in pork.
    He bought for his daughter,
    A tutor who taught her,
    To balance green peas on her fork.

    <>
     
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  21. sideshowbob Sorry, wrong number. Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    4,257
    Why are limericks in Art and
    Culture? Don't they belong in Rand-
    Om Thoughts? There is no such
    Place and there is not much
    Call for them in Sciforums Land.
     
  22. Michael 345 Bali in Nov closer Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,232
    In Australia it gets quite hot
    So never sit on your bot
    Or where the sun doesn't shine
    Will never feel fine
    When it's as hot as a car parking lot

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  23. sideshowbob Sorry, wrong number. Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    4,257
    In Australia there is a town
    Where everything's nailed to the groun'
    Or else it would fly
    Right up to the sky
    Because they are all upside down.
     

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