Hmmm... I wonder if you would qualify for having the Napoleon complex... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
lol. Did he go snooping on his girlfriend? I don't like generalizing things about people I do believe that women are smarter at predicting and guessing what peoples true intentions are in almost any given situation. and... uhhmmmm, from personal experience, they are definitely harder to lie to... Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
It takes a while to get to the comfort and serenity, but not the honesty. We didn't hide things from each other even when we were dating. We had a lot of loud fights and even broke up and didn't speak to each other for several months.
I think it might take a while for most people to be able to be honest with each other. It's not that easy to be honest with yourself, even, and having loud fights with breakups is not so good for the kids. How many of those fights were about misunderstandings? That Japanese proverb, about everyone having three hearts (one on your sleeve for the world, one in your chest for your boon companions - - and another one, hidden where only you know ) seems to apply.
Just think. If a man were to snoop, he would probably be labelled possessive, paranoid, and borderline abusive. Personally, I find 'snooping' repugnant. Let's not beat around the bush, snooping is just a glossed over word for 'prying', 'spying', 'invading his privacy', or 'not minding your own fucking business'. Snooping isn't just an invasion of privacy (if I want somebody to know something, *I'll* tell them when I see fit), it also calls your honour and integrity into question.
That's the thing. 'Snooping' is what parents do to children. It is incredibly condescending for an adult to invade another adult's privacy over personal suspicions.
if you dont trust your partner then they are the wrong ones for you, and if there is anything you want to know, then just ask, dont go snooping in they're e mails or hard drives for pictures, don't read they're mail, its just not done, personally i have given my BF the password for my e mail addresses (all 6 of them) and he has never read them without me being there, i have nothing to hide and neither does he,
I snooped once. I had my doubts but convinced myself that I trusted him and was being a paranoid idiot. I trusted him, so lay the blame on my own insecurities, even though my brain was screaming at me that something was wrong, I listened to my heart. Then after several weeks of our friend's dropping hints in their bid to make me see the light, I snooped. Well, not so much as snooped but followed, which is snooping really. And sure enough, they were right. I felt ashamed for having stooped so low, but also relieved that I found out before it was too late. The relationship ended 2 days later and to say that it was nasty would be an understatement. By his reasoning, we would all have been much happier if I had trusted him. That he was bonking someone else was really beside the point as far as he was concerned. I was apparently completely in the wrong. But you get that I suppose. He felt he could not stay with me because I did not trust him and he told me he could never be with someone who did not trust him, so before I got the chance to say "it's over", he ended it and moved in with his lover, and then gave said lover the engagement ring I had returned during that final argument. It ruined me for many years and my ability to trust anyone after that nasty episode was thrashed for years. I don't snoop anymore. The one time I did it caused me so much pain that now, I could never ever be with someone I do not trust implicitly.
I think if I had kids I would snoop on them until they were reasonably grown up. It would be highly irresponsible not to. Children are not in the same category as adults
I snoop on my kids. A 3.5 and a 2 year old.. when they are quiet and when I hear that certain quiet little giggle.. I snoop and see what they are up to. Last time I did (today), they had snuck into my underwear draw and my bras were being used as "bumps" to drive their little cars over. Damn kids.:bawl:
I mean I have never gone through his room and overturned things looking for anything. I know my kids pretty dam good, and just know when something isn't right. I am having a bit of a rough time now with the older one. I am trying to let the purse strings go and give him more freedom, but not too much freedom because he is still only turning 13 in July. I am having a hard time with going from a boy to a young man and the whole girls thing. I don't want him getting ahead of himself and doing anything stupid, but I also have to trust him to do the right thing.
it depends. when i was younger i seemed to care more. all my girlfriends were very pretty so they always get hit on. one example of the top of my head is when my gf told me that she went on a job interview in a doctors office and that the doctor really liked her but wanted to discuss things ovwer dinner. i told her yeah sure, is there a hotle next to the restaurant? she was only around 24yo at the time so i guess she believed him. i sure as hell knew what he was after though.
Then you are concerned that he might go knock up a girl and make you a grandmother while your are still relatively young?
another example: after that gf the next one was also very attractive, but also very outgoing. you can only imagine what a combination that was. *john bangs head on wall*
I thought so. I would also agree that, considering his age of 13, that would be an awful mess. Though it is unlikely, it can happen. At what age does it become OK that he has children? Simply over 21? I suppose you will be left worrying until then...however, each year is a little less dramatic then the last. This is to say that is is better that he should get a girl pregnant at 14 then 13, and at 18 then 16, so the worst of your worries is likely only possible now, and only lightens up from here. It also becomes more likely with each passing year; it is least likely to happen now and more likely to happen in the future. ... In 12 and 1/2 years I get to go through the same concern as you...accept it will be with my daughter.
I've gone through my husband's junk drawer looking for super glue, but I have never ever gone through his wallet, private mail, or his desk. I've only looked in my kids rooms when I have helped them clean them. But they know if I wanted to snoop and go through their stuff, I can and will. They have never given me a reason to. If my husband EVER went through my purse....I would come undone.
