http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articleglamourmatch.aspx?cp-documentid=18826145 Wonder why some guys don't trust you as much as you want? To me, this carries the same weight as cheating. If I catch you doing it, you're gone. End of story.
:roflmao: That was exactly the same thread and girl I was thinking of when I read the article. Good pluck sam. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
To what end? Why snoop? If you have a sense that someone is cheating, ask them. People tend to feel distrusted if you think they are being spied on. If you feel the need to spy, you shouldn't be in the relationship because clearly you have serious trust issues and should work on those first.
I admit it I have snooped. Same weight as cheating? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Give me a break! Mike....I am just going to come out and say it. You really don't have much patience or tolerance for much in a relationship. It sounds like if someone makes a mistake....or is too emotional...or follows an exact prototype in your mind, she is gone. It sounds like you are waiting for Mrs Perfect in every way. Do you really think she exists? I am just coming to this conclusion because of everything you have said about women.
Oh, I'm a snooperPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I always check my girlfriends favoriate hobbies, and sometimes I turn the other face. With that being said, I should probably mention that I don't have a girlfriend right now anymore. It feels OK. It feels better that I don't have to watch her playing Zelda and not know what button to press, because she is too afraid of my own attachments to her. I get especially upset when I see that she doesn't want me to watch her mother get on to her. It makes me kind of sad. Women are weird like that I guess. Got to take care of em', try not to snoop around so much. Pay particular attention to not going into her underwear drawers. Sometimes they want to catch you doing that. I say because I did it one time and was busted for every sin on planet earth. Womans privacy is her privacy.
Depends on what I want to know. I did snoop around in my fiance's stuff because I was pretty sure he was stealing my candy and then pretending like he didn't know what I was talking about (such a jerk). Besides being a detective is fun. But I don't read other people's texts or emails, simply out of principle. (unless they just leave it open somewhere my nosiness might get the best of me Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!, but I wouldn't intentionally look it up) If I thought my boyfriend might be cheating... I honestly don't know what I would do. (Besides laugh, cause he's wouldn't be getting his diamond ring back)
Reminds me of the old joke about masturbation - there are two kinds of men, masturbators and liars. Re snooping, there are two kinds of women. Your girlfriend snoops - whether you're male or female. She might not call it snooping, but you would. If you can't live with that, you can't live with her. The difference in integrity is partly how much deception and intrusion she puts into it, but mostly whether she keeps your stuff to herself. The one you don't want is the one who snoops and tells her sisters, her best friend, etc. That's where the betrayal comes in.
I snooped once many many years ago, because I felt he was being dishonest. He was, but I didn't confront him about it. I felt awful for snooping into his business, and still do. I feel that people will tell me eventually, as he did tell me eventually. I haven't done it since. It was immature of me, and probably because I had low self-esteem at the time. If you leave the lines of communication open and you are stable and honest as well, they will tell you what they were originally hiding from you. The problem is that most men hide things because they have to deal with irrational and overly emotional women. It's a cause and effect thing. If you are on the level and not a source of drama, as well as a good listener, I think that men will tell you when there is something wrong. My husband tells me when there is something wrong or something I can correct about my behaviour. I do the same for him. Case in point, a few weeks ago I was PMS'ing and feeling a bit cranky. I explained to him first thing that day that I was feeling a little emotionally unstable and if I was responding oddly to him, it was because I was feeling a little vulnerable and unstable. A few days later he asked me to deal with our thirteen year old because he was feeling short-fused and overly frustrated because he hadn't much sleep the night before. If you communicate on an honest level and if you allow each other to feel secure in being honest, then you have no reason not to trust them.
Snooping is a sign of not trusting someone. Guess what Shorty, I have NEVER snooped on any of my past g/fs. Granted I've inadvertently found stuff before that caused me to question her, when I was looking for something else, but I've never purposely snooped. Why? Beause I trusted them. You gunna sit there and tell me that if Nietzsche snooped, you wouldn't be livid? 1. I'm already aware that I have no patience or tolerance for much in a relationship. I do not have any shame/guilt or remorse in admitting it either. I've even said I'd rather die alone than be with someone in a situation I had to settle for. I'm sorry you and everyone else here thinks it's a cardinal freakin sin to be less than willing to compromise your principles just for some non-guaranteed companiionship. I'm also sorry you feel that expecting what you deserve is so taboo. Oh well. 2. I'm not waiting for Ms. Perfect because I know she doesn't exist. I am well aware that short of a miracle (i.e. my mentality changes or I do find a girl that fits me), I'll spend the rest of my life with my dogs; and I'm ok with that.
Excellent avatar, Marie. Semper Fi You snooped around because you suspected he was stealing your candy? HAHAHAHAHA!! That's funny right there. I don't care who you are. That must've been some privledged candy if you were that upset about him stealing it. Haha.
Yes. No, the lying **** kept lying. So why do women hide things? Unless, of course, they're a duplicitous ***. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Lieb, are you sure you aren't a guy? Your posts contain way too much common sense, logic and rationale. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! I bet your husband was a kept man from day one.
Women hide things because they don't trust. But I disagree with liars always continuing to lie. People lie because they feel the need to hide something. It comes from a fear of being exposed, but if you allay their fears by being emotionally stable and consistent in your responses, they have no reason to have that fear.
Actually, he had trouble adjusting to tell you the truth. I suppose that after years of dating different people, you come to expect certain actions from the other side. You come in with all these preconceived notions of how someone should act because of past experience and it usually works fairly well. But I'm not like most women, and while I have my days of being a little unstable (admittedly they are around that time of the month and I usually say I am sorry before hand and keep to myself) I am very logical and pragmatic in my relationships. That has been a problem for some of the men I have dated, in that they want a problem to fix and I don't have a lot of those hanging out there that I haven't already worked on or fixed myself. I am also very self-aware and honest with myself about a lot of things. If someone sees a flaw in me they often tell me because they know I can handle it. Usually it's a flaw I've already explored myself. A lot of guys like the high-maintenance woman over someone like me, and I think it's because they like to feel needed at all times. A lot of the guys in my past have left because they didn't feel like I needed them. It was a problem in the beginning of my marriage as well, until we both talked about things and got it all out in the open. I do need him, but not for emotional support. I need someone to share my life with, to talk with and be with... and I need to get fucked. So once I got him to see that, it was all uphill from there. There was definitely an adjustment period, and now he says it's like living with his best mate, but with more tits and ass. Best of both worlds really.
As wrong as it sounds sometimes the only way to get the truth is through hard evidence. Typically when a woman senses somethings wrong they are usually right, unless they are the psycho kind. I could see how if I got spied on however, I would no longer care about being honest. So snooping can backfire, hard.
Couldn't agree more. Too bad they can't sense* it when her man hits her. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! *in the context of realizing that it's wrong and she needs to leave him I'll always care about being honest. Honesty is more than being about doing the right thing. If you're as honest as you can be, and you take accountability for your actions, you leave little room for people to pick. Am I 100% honest. Nope. I don't think anyone is, but I try to be whenever I can, especially with people I'm supposed to care about. Those don't sound like guys. Those sound like women with penises. The only thing worse than a needy, low self-esteemed, insecure girl, is a needy low-self-esteemed, insecure guy.
I strongly disagree with this. I think you can get to the truth if you are open to the truth. If you know your significant other will not blow their top, go off the deep end, or never forgive/forget about your mistakes, you are more willing to share them. And everyone makes mistakes.
I don't snoop, never seen the point. Either you trust someone or you don't. If you don't you either have good reason or you're too insecure to tell the difference.
