Keep the boats coming, but please, future PMs, keep the Canadians out Danny Katz August 12, 2010 The Age Tony [Abbott, Australian Opposition Leader]and Julia [Gillard, Prime Minister] want to turn this country into an insular, isolated, boat-rejecting, immigration-slashing, closed-bordered, closed-minded bastion of fortified rackkoffff-ness, and I think that's an excellent thing. I'm fully behind them, if only to keep out the Canadians. I've got no problem with refugees coming here from Pakistan, Afghanistan, Kiwistan, but something must be done to curb the influx of Canadastanis flowing across our borders like thick insidious maple syrup smothering a helpless little butterball atop a compassionate pancake short-stack. Those Canadians, they're desperate to come here: they look at Australia and go, "Oooo, it's so much like home, same laidback lifestyle, same laconic humour, same geo-political global insignificance. I want to live there, eh." But when they get here they make no effort to assimilate like other refugees or immerse themselves into Australian society. You see them walking our city streets in small intimidating Caribou-packs, offending everyone with their culturally insensitive Roots-brand Beaver-Canoe sweatshirts. You see them working out in our suburban gymnasiums, flashing their repulsively overdeveloped moose-pecs and humming Nickelback songs, unironically. You see them in our pancake eateries, throwing forks across the table in disgust and whining to waitresses: "The amberness of this maple syrup does not appear to be of an acceptable 60.5-74.9 per cent translucency! If I'm not very much mistaken, this is mock-maple! Bring me genuine syrup IMMEDIATELY in a proper glass bottle with an impractically tiny handle for my impossibly brawny Canadian fingers!" Yeah, yeah, here we go, all the lefties and greenies ... are going to start prattling about how we should accept asylum-seekers of EVERY nationality, that Canadians have fled lives of great hardship, suffering under the French-Canadian fundamentalists who brutally force supermarkets to have both English and French labelling on all their merchandise, so "ketchup" is also called "ketchuppe". That Canadians have escaped the barbaric Cirque du Soleil regime which indoctrinates innocent young people and teaches them to balance on tightropes with their teeth while dressed as freaky ladyboy whore-clowns - it's so degrading. But how are we supposed to be compassionate when newly arrived Canadians insist on keeping their ethnic culture, language, religion? .... Deport the Canadians, send them back to T'rono, and before you call me a hateful anti-Canuckist, let me confess that I'm a Canadian refugee! .... So Tony and Julia are right: immigration numbers should be slashed, but let the genuine refugees in and just stop the Canadians. And Tony and Julia, whichever of you vows to send me off to a detention centre in Nauru or East Timor - me and the only other Canadian-Australian that comes to mind, crime-writing supermodel Tara Moss, detained in a tiny isolation cell with one set of clothes and a single-bed mattress - whoever can promise that, you shall have my vote.
Indeed. Fuck those Canadians coming a million miles across the ocean with their busted arse lives, in their busted arsed boats with their busted arse senses of humour. Close the borders, it's only right. errr. Any refugee, who makes it to the wilderness coast of the Australian North West, people smuggler payee or not should be given a heroes welcome for just making the godforsaken journey! Have you seen the Liberal propaganda??...a busted arsed boat in the throes of sinking in the middle of the ocean with half a dozen bedraggled, busted arsed refugees....big threat to Australia. Can we get a fucking grip...please.
LMAO Australia's refugee system is as fucked as Canuckistan's? I'm movin. I can fake refugee, no problem. Do I get setup with a free (nice) house and a stipend in AU like we give refubullshitters here too?
No. Here you get to live in a form of prison, where you will not be allowed to leave (they are usually in the desert somewhere or on Islands like Naaru) until they deem you to be legal. Then you will be placed in communal housing, unless you know someone who is willing to take you in.. and struggle to find work and then a place to live (rent is overly expensive in Australia). But on one condition. You can only move here if you dress like the Mounties and sing the Lumberjack song. All the time. Otherwise, stay home.Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Lumberjack song? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upsZZ2s3xv8 Mounties are pigs like 95% of police forces, any jackass can look good in a red serge.
Nietzsche, You can come, we'll look after you. It's a bit hot but we have cold beer and you can swim. We don't get refubullshitters, apart from the odd dropout Pom ( we turn a blind eye) If you make it here as a refo, you've put your life on the line, crossed thousands of miles of ocean in a clapped out rustbucket, then we'll incarcerate you in some remote off shore island camp, 'process' you (it will take years) then maybe give you a half a chance at life here. I cannot believe it's become a political issue. It's fuckin' redneck wonderland here once again.
Oh ya I remember that , haven't seen it in 20 years. This is a good example of external perception VS internal cultural memories.
Yes.. But they be Muslims on them boats.. Muslims.. They're coming for our precious metals and 'women folk'.. I must admit though, one of the highlights so far in this election has been Abbott's visit to the fruit shop. Stunning photo op. While pounding the whole 'stop the boat' line to the watching media, he stood next to two migrants, who owned the fruitshop. Praising the couple as ideal migrants who came to the country through legal means, he seems to failed to have checked first. Thankfully for him, the couple have more manners than he does and did not tell him that they too were illegal boat people who came to Australia 25 years ago.
It's not just the Liberal propaganda though. Labor has become just as bad when it comes to boat people. Why focus solely on boat people? Illegal immigration is illegal immigration. But they focus solely on boat people and portray them as an actual physical threat to the country and its populace. Why isn't there any focus on European, American and yes, Canadian illegal migrants? Remember the whole children overboard fiasco, where the Howard Government was pounding the drum of 'what kind of person throws their children into open water?.. Do we want those people living among us' line? All this accompanied with edited video footage. When the truth came out, the response was 'the kind who are trying to save their children from a sinking ship!'. When the real videos were released, it showed desperate people trying to save their children from a boat that was sinking quickly. I find the boat people stance of both parties to be inherently racist and divisive. There are small country towns who are virtually dying due to a diminished population. Schools are closed because there aren't enough children to attend them. These migrants have the potential to revive such towns, boost employment and keep the schools and small hospitals open in these regional areas. But noooo... Ship them off to Naaru, let them rot in tents and in appalling and squalid conditions and claim it's for our own safety.. We are so busy treating them like criminals that we have become the criminal ourselves.
Roughly translated: I would like to enquire as to the possibility of accommodation for inhabitants of the USA, my friends.
This sounds more like a New Zealand accent than an Australian one. By the way, Australians never address a group of people as "mates".
OMFG! I had no idea what that said until I read it outloud near my boyfriend who said, "Um, Dan. . . why are you faking an Australian accent?" Hype. That was the funniest thing I've read since [insert highly inappropriate holocaust joke here]. Can't stop laughing. Must move on. Must move on. ~String
Politicians in the USA try to keep the people focused on the southern border, the one with Mexico. But the real problem is the poorly guarded northern border which Canadians use to enter the State illegally. Since they look like us - being a similar melting pot of ethnic groups - we hardly notice when they quietly set up shop. The national character aids them in blending in, since they damn well know how to keep a secret.
Dirty Canadians. Flooding our airwaves with "Sarah's House"**, "Holmes On Homes" and "Flashpoint". I'm holding a magazine burning tomorrow for all my old issues of Macleans. ~String **My favorite show, bar none.
I think the sinisterly quiet way they do not talk about certain things is destroying US culture. I stand behind you in your rituals.
We're already totally flooded where I currently work. I worked back in Cleveland for four years--for the same company--and never ran into a Canadian. Sandusky, Ohio is a resort town with all sorts of in-door water parks, out-door parks, beaches, islands, real parks and one really big amusement park that bring a lot of "those people" from Ontario and beyond, apparently escaping the bitter cold just 25 miles to the north. I once peaked into a lady's purse and saw a colorful bill with--what looked like--some imperial monarch on the front. . . but I wasn't sure. I've never heard so much Quebecois in my life. All that guttural, throating "haw-haw-hawwwing". Funny thing. The Quebecois are the friendliest Canadians (at least here where I live). Ontarioans, ites[?], ois[?], ese[?] tend to be a bit more demanding. ~String
