Jokes and Funny Stories II

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Billy T, Jan 10, 2014.

  1. Michael 345 Bali in Nov closer Valued Senior Member

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    A famous artists was summoned to the white house

    "We need a inspiring painting of Trump to stir the masses
    Paint Trump as a astronaut on the moon"

    "Trump has never been to the moon"

    "Paint it anyway. Sarah can handle the details. Sarah is good at her job and can explain Trump on the moon story no problem"

    Back in his studio the artist was pissed off about his artistic work being compromised. He thought about the request and how Sarah can handle anything

    Weeks later the painting arrived. A unvaling was set up in the press briefing room and no one was allowed to see the painting until the unveiling

    The cover sheet came off the reveal Sarah in the throes with the artist. After the noise died down Sarah was asked

    "Where is Trump?"

    "On the moon. You don't think I would be doing this if he was still on Earth do you?"

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  3. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

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  10. Michael 345 Bali in Nov closer Valued Senior Member

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    After a very bad accident a man is surprised to wake up in a comfortable bed with pastal colour surroundings, soft music and a extensive landscape view from the window

    Door opens and a Liz Hurley look-a-like walks in

    "Oh good your awake. I have been assigned to show you around and settle you into new home just over that ridge"

    "Thank you and can you tell me where I am please?"

    "Your in hell. Shall we get started?"

    As he climbs out of bed his clothes magical appear on him and perfectly fitted and suitable for the weather

    After showing him around the local community area they set off across the parkland to his accommodation

    Far off to his left the landscape seem dark and foreboding with vicious storms, a smell of sulphur and volcano rumblings. Faint crys for help and of suffering can be heard

    "Excuse me Liz, what's that area over there?"

    "Oh that's reserved for christians. They seem to prefer it that way"

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    Last edited: May 15, 2018
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  16. StrangerInAStrangeLand SubQuantum Mechanic Valued Senior Member

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  17. Michael 345 Bali in Nov closer Valued Senior Member

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    The American Embassy is now in Jerusalem

    Trump opens it with great fanfare

    After the late supper he takes ill and dies

    A offer is made to bury him in holy grounds

    After a lot of diplomatic to and fro the offer is declined

    Pence explains "2,000 years ago you buried a great person, three days later he revived himself. We can't chance that happening again"

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    Last edited: May 17, 2018
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