Jokes and Funny Stories II

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Billy T, Jan 10, 2014.

  1. Magical Realist Valued Senior Member

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  3. Magical Realist Valued Senior Member

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  5. sideshowbob Sorry, wrong number. Valued Senior Member

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    Customer: Waiter, you've got your thumb in the butter!

    Waiter: Well, I don't want it to fall on the floor again.

    (Credit to Arthur Askey.)
     
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  7. Michael 345 New year. PRESENT is 72 years oldl Valued Senior Member

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  8. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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    When in Chicago (from 4-7 years old)
    There was a german immigrant sausage maker in the neighborhood
    whose main ingredient was
    roof rabbits
     
  9. Michael 345 New year. PRESENT is 72 years oldl Valued Senior Member

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    Yuk

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  10. DaveC426913 Valued Senior Member

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    Rats, with good PR.
     
  11. Magical Realist Valued Senior Member

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  12. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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  13. sideshowbob Sorry, wrong number. Valued Senior Member

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    Warning: possibility of political incorrectness.

    A few years ago, I had to work on New Years Day. The buses weren't running early in the morning so I called a cab. About halfway there, the driver's phone rang and he spoke for less than a minute in a language that was unknown to me. When he hung up he said, "That was my father calling from India to wish me a happy New Year."

    To be fair, around here less than 90% of the cab drivers are from India.
     
  14. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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  15. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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  16. Michael 345 New year. PRESENT is 72 years oldl Valued Senior Member

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    So that's what I have been doing wrong

    Not turning it inside out

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  17. Magical Realist Valued Senior Member

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  18. Michael 345 New year. PRESENT is 72 years oldl Valued Senior Member

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    Hey granddad which one do you like to have played at your funeral?

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  19. wegs Matter and Pixie Dust Valued Senior Member

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  20. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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    A beautiful young woman wearing no clothes walking into the office and robbed the shop at gunpoint.

    Every man on the floor witnessed it.

    Not one of them could describe her face to the police.
     
  21. Michael 345 New year. PRESENT is 72 years oldl Valued Senior Member

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  22. Magical Realist Valued Senior Member

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  23. Magical Realist Valued Senior Member

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