Jokes and Funny Stories II

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Billy T, Jan 10, 2014.

  1. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,016
  2. Guest Guest Advertisement



    to hide all adverts.
  3. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,016
  4. Guest Guest Advertisement



    to hide all adverts.
  5. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,016
  6. Guest Guest Advertisement



    to hide all adverts.
  7. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,016
    Yabba grabba brew.
     
  8. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,016
    "Excuse me but how do you get to Carnegie Hall?"

    "Practice, practice, practice."
     
    Truck Captain Stumpy likes this.
  9. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,016
    A man goes to the Doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts here, here, and here." The man points to three different places on his body.

    The Doctor says, "You've broken your finger."
     
    Truck Captain Stumpy likes this.
  10. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,016
    Good luck @ UNI.

    (Looks like something else (c*nt.))
     
  11. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,016
  12. davewhite04 Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,940
    Paddy goes to the builders merchant and asks for 4 pallets of bricks.

    The guy asks "What you gonna do with all these bricks Paddy?"

    Paddy says "Build a barbecue"

    The guy says "You don't need 4 pallets of bricks for a barbecue!"

    Paddy says "You do when you live on the 9th floor"

    Sorry, don't know how to hide the punchline.
     
  13. sculptor Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,349
    what do you call a column of rabbits marching backwards?
     
  14. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,016
    I don't know. What do you call a column of Rabbits marching backwards?
     
  15. sculptor Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,349
    a rec
    a receding hare line
     
  16. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,016
    Lol! Very good Sculptor.
     
  17. Michael 345 New year. PRESENT is 69 years old Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    8,231

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!


    NT News newspaper 30 September 2019

    From the Heaven Help Us Line

    I stored my files in the cloud. After it rained I could no longer find them

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

     
  18. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,016
    A blonde is bored of her and her husband's sex life, and wishes to spice things up.

    The husband offers, "Would you like to try the wheel-Barrow?"

    The blonde replies, "As long as we don't go past my parents' house."
     
    Truck Captain Stumpy likes this.
  19. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,016
  20. sculptor Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    6,349
    Man walks into a bar, orders a whiskey, neat, says make it a double.
    Bartender pours him a glass.
    Man holds his nose and closes his eyes and gulps the glass down.
    This is repeated several times over the next few weeks.
    Man walks into a bar and orders a whiskey, neat, and says, make it a double.
    As the bartender pours the drink, he asks the man if he likes whiskey.
    Yes, came the immediate and enthusiastic reply.
    Well then, queries the bartender, why do you hold your nose and close your eyes before gulping it down?
    Man replies, I don't just like whiskey, I love whiskey.
    The very sight and smell of it makes my mouth water
    and
    I hate to dilute the stuff.
     
  21. Benson Registered Member

    Messages:
    99
    What did socialists use to light their homes with before using candles?

    Electricity
     
    Truck Captain Stumpy likes this.
  22. davewhite04 Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    3,940
  23. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    2,016
    Two fish are in a tank.

    One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
     
    sideshowbob likes this.

Share This Page