Jokes and Funny Stories II

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Billy T, Jan 10, 2014.

  1. Benson Registered Member

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    In New York, they thought Hepatitis B was a vitamin.

    (Change State as required)
     
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  3. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    Pigs are as smart as Dogs. I knew a Man who taught his Pig to bark at strangers.
     
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  5. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    Apparently Goats become Catatonic when surprised...

     
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  7. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    My Father came into my room the other night. "Son, if you keep masterbating you'll go blind", he said.

    I said, "I'm over here, Dad."
     
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  8. Benson Registered Member

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    Humour has been killed by the snowflake society that we now live in.
     
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  9. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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  10. DaveC426913 Valued Senior Member

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    Since I first heard the term "snowflake", I couldn't figure out why it rubbed me the wrong way.

    And then John Cleese nailed it:

    "Yes I've heard this word. I think sociopaths use it in an attempt to discredit the notion of empathy."

    Using the term "snowflake" is the equivalent of "Aw poor baby. Can't take a little punch to the head? I hardly even touched you and you're gonna go cry to momma?"
     
  11. iceaura Valued Senior Member

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    Not for the fans of Pogo and its heirs, the readers of Molly Ivins and her heirs.

    We've been living in a snowflake dominated society since the Civil Rights Act - but we have managed to laugh at them, despite the extraordinary efforts to censor such behavior.

    Seriously (because they can't take a joke): what a whiny, snotnosed, thinskinned, crybaby, hypersensitive lot the Republican voters have become since the Civil Rights act. Even worse, they had the money and power to censor the public discussion, act out their po-boy picked-on don't get no respect sissy routine with real money behind them.

    Imagine a full grown American man circa 1880, raising a family by working a 160 acre dairy farm with a team of horses, a couple of kids, and a windmill, seeing this future:

    adult American men openly admitting that they based their vote for President of the US on the presumption that somebody back east had called their idiot barfly neighbor "deplorable";

    adult American men - with jobs and families and the whole nine yards - telling the news guys that unless people quit calling them stupid they would hold their breath until they turned blue vote for whomever the news guys disliked the most;

    the Kavanaugh tantrums, watching that ferrety lawyer who had never tried a case get appointed to the US Supreme Court - for life - after a display of sniveling cowardice and spiteful dishonesty under pressure that would shame a ten year old remembering when he was four.

    The takehome? It's shame that kills humor. Not snowflakes. Trump, the hero of the snowflakes, is - like Baghdad Bob, or Ronald Reagan - essentially a comic figure, but just as it became harder to laugh at Bob after Abu Ghraib, so it gets harder to laugh at Trump (or anything else) after the cages of children made the news, after the deaths from insulin rationing reached a certain level, after the billionaire killed Gawker.

    Not impossible. Just harder.
     
  12. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    Is that supposed to be funny?
     
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  13. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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    One snowflake more or less don't mean nothing.
    ephemeral
    If one lands on your hand, it will quickly resolve itself into a dew.
    However, when they gang up on you in their hundreds/thousands/millions they can easily become life threatening.
    Beware of a gathering of "snowflakes".
     
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  14. iceaura Valued Senior Member

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    Too late. They've got themselves a President, and they aren't going to get picked on any more.
     
  15. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    Teacher: What do you call a Woman in Heaven?
    Little Johnny: An Angel?

    Teacher: A crowd of Women in Heaven?
    Little Johnny: A host of Angels?

    Teacher: And all Women in Heaven?
    Little Johnny: Peace on Earth?

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

     
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  16. Michael 345 New year. PRESENT is 69 years old Valued Senior Member

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    Woman

    We have sent only men to the Moon

    Can we up the budget and send them all?

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  17. wegs With brave wings, she flies . . . Valued Senior Member

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  18. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    Rumour has it that Mickey Mouse wears a Michael345 watch.

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  19. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    Santo's grotty.
     
  20. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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    a cheap hotel in Santos?
    HUH wut?
     
  21. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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  22. Michael 345 New year. PRESENT is 69 years old Valued Senior Member

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    Follow the bouncing ball

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  23. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    There's a few of them Michael345.

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