Jokes and Funny Stories II

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by Billy T, Jan 10, 2014.

  1. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    A man is walking in circles in a Wigwam.

    A Policeman walks up and arrests the man for loitering within tent.
     
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  3. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    Two Nuns are in a bath together.

    One Nun says to the other, "Where's the soap?"

    The other Nun says, "It does doesn't it."

    (Wears the soap.)
     
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  5. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    I went to the Zoo today. There was a Panini in one cage and a croissant in the other.

    They were Bread in captivity.
     
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2019
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  7. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    What does a mathematician do with constipation?

    Works it out with a pencil.
     
  8. DaveC426913 Valued Senior Member

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    I don't get it.
     
  9. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    "Wears the soap!"

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  10. DaveC426913 Valued Senior Member

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    Yah, I saw the spoiler. I still don't get it.
     
  11. Michael 345 New year. PRESENT is 69 years old Valued Senior Member

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    Slow day for you? or a senior moment?

    Apart from washing your body with the bar of soap what other action with soap would cause it to wear?

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  12. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    Thank-you Michael345. That saves me from explaining it.
     
  13. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    What's the definition of suspicious?

    A Nun doing press-ups in a cucumber field.
     
  14. DaveC426913 Valued Senior Member

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    That's the joke?? I guess I'm not up on nun lore. Must be a millennial thing.
     
  15. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    I didn't get it when I was first told it DaveC. It had to be explained to me. What did you think of the mathematician joke? It's a good one I think.

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  16. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    What's black and white and re(a)d all over?

    A newspaper.
    A Nun cut in half.
    A penguin cut in half.
     
  17. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    A man is on a flight run by T.W.A. when a Stewardess approaches him and asks, "Would you like some of our T.W.A. Coffee?"

    "No thanks", replies the man, "but I would like some of your T.W.A. tea."
     
  18. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    How do you get twenty popes into a mini?

    Take off their hats.
     
  19. Michael 345 New year. PRESENT is 69 years old Valued Senior Member

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    You build a bigger mini

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  20. sideshowbob Sorry, wrong number. Valued Senior Member

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    Hire one of those Japanese subway-stuffers.
     
  21. arfa brane call me arf Valued Senior Member

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    A doctor is trying to talk to a patient, but can't get any sense out of him. Eventually the doctor says, "I think you must be crazy!".

    The patient says, "Yeah, that's what all the trees keep saying".
     
  22. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    A Teacher asks her Class a question.

    Timmy raises his hand, "I is..."

    "No Timmy," says the Teacher, "it's "I am.""

    "Okay," says Timmy, "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
     
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  23. TheFrogger Valued Senior Member

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    Can I see your axe-wound?
     

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