Is trust earned or learned?

The Byrds - Turn! Turn! Turn! - 1965
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaL75qLJyUc

 

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http://www.searchquotes.com/viewimage/Real_Love_Is_Based_On_Respect,_Compromise,_Care_and_Trust/926/

So do you agree that; "Real love is not based on romance, candle light dinner and walks along the beach. In fact, it is based on Respect, Compromise, Care and Trust"?

Respect compromise care and trust are great qualities but they don't seem to lead into expressions that follow.
"Real love is knowing who you want to be with forever, and loving them so much that you would rather be gone from this Earth than to still live and see them go. Real love isn't the easiest thing to find in this crazy world, but when you find it, be sure to hold on to it. Real love is rare, and it should be encouraged, nurtured, and grown to its fullest potential, of course willing that the time is right for both parties."
That paragraph expresses a degree of emotion that goes far beyond the clinical qualities of Respect, Compromise, Care and Trust"
You would never get into this desperate state just from experiencing Respect, Compromise, Care and Trust.

In fact when you read that "True love" seems a quite dangerous state to be in; "loving them so much that you would rather be gone from this Earth than to still live and see them go."

Can the feeling of "true Love' last. Will the endorphin rush continue for life? Maybe there are times it does. It is this that which I have desired, being the hopeless romantic.

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This thread morphed into something I hadn't intended; 'Dear Diary' wasn't what I had in mind...so...on that note, I'm bowing out.
Feel free to discuss the topic amongst yourselves.

On another note, my date last night, went well. Better than expected.
I'll keep an open mind...

Thx for your insights and thoughts, all. It's been a relatively fruitful exchange.

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thanks elte.

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I think this is interesting commentary—might be worthy of a new thread discussion.

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There was some heated and deep discussion, lasting till very late, back here in the flat, as to how we males respond to "Love". Dictionaries came out, and the word "love" was Googled too. We definitely wanted to get to the heart of the issue.

What does "dear Diary" mean?
http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=2507494
"Many people keep a daily journal in which they write down things they did or that happened to them that day, or make a written record of their secret thoughts. They call it their diary, and some will write 'Dear Diary' as if they were writing a letter to a friend."
OK

 

Do share.

no pun

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You're welcome Wegs, and I hope you can always experience love and no hate at all!

 

Work calls, but after work no doubt we'll be back to discussing the problem again. Very knowledgeable guy telling the hopeless romantic how to handle himself. Trouble with good advice is that often we don't like taking it.

 

I will try!

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There are no easy answers. Unlike math or science, love is an uncertain certainty.

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It defies logic.

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I prefer the chemistry of Love. Do you really think math and science is easy? I like working things through with logic and reasoning and then drawing silly analogies. Does True love defy logic? So logic can't be applied?

 

Math and science have definitive answers...love really doesn't.
When two ppl fall in love, there is little logic involved.
That's why so many ppl say after a break up..."what the hell was I thinking dating him/her?"
They weren't "thinking" during the love phase.

Although, true love is an act of the will.
Perhaps what I'm talking about above is more of the falling in love stage.
Different than actually CHOOSING to commit to someone and love them no matter what.
You know?

'Tis a mystery

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A wise lady once told me that when a woman chooses a man, the very first question in her mind should be, "do I want this man to be the father of my children?"
This fundamental question overrides all other considerations.

 

I noticed you say "should be" . Its a bit like, Do you know what Should should have done? Do you know what Thought thought?

 

I'll say this about that,

I did not say that, my mother did, and she was a wise and very modern woman for her time.
Let's put it to the test.
Ladies, was that sound advice as an a priori requirement for a woman's prospective lifemate?

 

I'll stand corrected, it wasn't you who said it originally, but aren't you repeating it when you quote it?

I agree, it seems like good advice, but I was really wondering what "the very first question in her mind" is "when a woman chooses a man". That is something I don't know not being a woman.

 

@ write4u...

I would say that is one of the questions either gender has when deciding if the person they're dating "has future potential." It's not only something women think...if a man wishes to marry a woman, I'd imagine the same question arises in his mind wondering if she will be a good mother, as well.

 

.... and what is the answer?

 

Neither.

Also, the two options you give are from different perspectives.
If someone has earned your trust, that person now trusts you.
If you've learned to trust someone, you trust that person now.

I say trust is gained from a person through his or her experience with you, that's not necessarily earned imo.
And trust is not static, it's subject to continous update. Each experience with someone influences your trust in that someone (i.e. how much trust they gain from you)

 

No I don't think so. So many difficult questions and no easy answer.
That is partly why I find the story in Genesis 24 so interesting, for in that case the search for the bride was left up to the Father, and the girl takes the chance on her partner sight unseen. She travels to another land to be with him based on her faith and a token gift from him.