This is really an under estimated part of the subject. I don't know what's happening in the countries you live in, but in mine, I observe little boys being raised by the 'main fact' that being a man means trying to dominate, challenge another. The idea that men can do most of the things they want, because they are 'male'. It's a way of putting it bluntly of course. Girls are raised with a 'traditional' fear given that they should protect themselves from this violent evil creature, because it's possible they can't help it' under certain circumstances. Disgusting isn't it? When you think about rape, at first glance, you don't even think about a 'man' getting raped. (Equally disgusting, needless to say) You First think about a woman. If it's a child rape, the issue takes another notch up, but a child's key character is being a child more than her/his gender. But when you think about a raped woman, she is not just physically and mentally assaulted, she is considered as 'damaged' and not clean as a gender. Well, you, me and probably everybody in this forum would find it ridiculous, but can we deny that the abundant of people have this approach to rape cases? A raped woman's 'status' is completely ruined, because of another person who is physically impossible for her to fight. And there is also something called effect of provocation, I don't want to even go there. Can you imagine that? This also means, -like Alien Cockroach mentioned before - who would be so eager to complain about something that's going to change her life that profoundly. Most of the victims knows the rapist. American National Sexual Assault Hotline reports that 73 % of the victims know their assailants. And 60 % of assaults not reported to the police. Another thing. In English language the specific word 'rape' to use for this horrible act. Am I right? In my mother language there is another word meaning 'rape' but it's only used for women. "Irza geçmek" It CAN only be used for women. So, rape is not about only sex or power it seems. In my personal opinion, this whole issue is directly related to the so called 'male & female identity' which has been shoved in our brains at early age, that belongs to the Stone Age. And there is a thing called power of 'male identity' in that bullshit. That 'male identity' mentioned, if you read the thread all over, you could see certain differences in male & female members' way of looking at the subject. I know we are not discussing morality here, and I don't mean that. Males do not pay attention or see 'rape' as something that could violate them or bear the fear of it knowing that they can't fight it. They are not used to. And that's related to display of power of identity.
I heard that, Ejderha. That is to say, "I read it attentitively." The West has some black marks on its own history. You see, our culture used to be very barbaric. We used to have a tradition we called "dueling." I am sure that you have heard of it. You see, if somebody challenged you to a duel, you had to accept the challenge. If you declined, that meant that you didn't have the backbone to stand up for yourself, therefore you could be ignored. What it really implied, though, was that two angry rich men would take out their sabres, which were a kind of sword, and they would spend a while trying to poke each other with them. When one of them would start bleeding, the duel would usually be considered to be over unless they decided to "duel to the death" like idiots, and whoever poked the other guy first was considered to be "right." In really dark times, a guy could commit murder, and everybody would say he was innocent if he challenged his accusers to a duel and won, but that would have been during the reign of the Sun King. You should look up that figure, actually. The man we also know as the Sun King was a French monarch. He was really tremendous asshole, and he demonstrated so much that was wrong with our culture that his asinine, stupid behavior can arguably be called the "spur" that drove us to quit behaving like heroic shitheads, and give money to smelly scientist-philosophers. The Sun King was such a complete douchebag, I tell you, that he is the reason that our culture is not more like yours. Part of the reason that our culture is so hooked on being "informal" and "lacking manners" is the fact that the Sun King was a really fancy piece of shit. He liked going out in fancy clothes and high-heeled booties, having a lot of ballets in his court, and generally being a foppish bastard. The reason this man was such a piece of shit was that he had delusions that he was some kind of fucking sex god. What a complete piece of shit. The Sun King was such a complete piece of grimy shit that he drove a lot of my ancestors away from the European continent, so we wouldn't have to deal with bastard royalty anymore. We sailed over to what is now the USA, and we founded a country that was designed around no other principle other than giving the Sun King the middle-finger. He was the spur that drove us to become a democratically ruled culture. His foppish bullshit is the reason that Americans started giving money to negro musicians, so we could have some styles of music that didn't remind us so much of him. We really hated the guy that much, so we owe him everything. Of course, German-speaking cultures had a thing called "Mensur," which I like better. The idea behind Mensur was not to inflict or avoid injuries, but it was to bear those injuries gracefully and stoically. I disagree with the violence, but I think that my favorite of all "masculine" qualities is stoicism. I find it to be highly attractive. The reason I enjoy a person like that is that they don't usually snore, they don't elbow you in the face, and they don't check for shell before they start eating your eggs. These are behaviors that I use to determine whether I have slept with a proper man, but I can usually forgive things like snoring or an elbow to the face. If I see him poking around in those eggs, though, he is going to have a cold bed for a while. If there is shell in it, you should endure it stoically, and you should tell me how much you like your eggs crunchy instead of commenting on it. What makes rape so pathetic is the fact that you don't even see any real "masculine" qualities in there. It symbolizes a lack of honor, a lack of respect for women, a lack of self-control, a lack of discipline, and a severe dearth of everything that the better cultures in history called "manly." A man who raises his hand against a woman is showing that he doesn't have it in him to protect her from harm, even against himself. It is a low act, and I am at least glad that nearly every culture in history has basically agreed with me, for one reason or another. As for real feminine qualities, I think that there are conventions in our culture, even from when the sexes were regarded as alien to each other, that teach women to be self-confident. For example, the kind of dance called "ballet" is one that teaches women to walk in a very poised manner that is characteristic of a strength of character. This is one of the reasons that ballet used to be more popular with men of state, actually. In our culture, women also receive a lot of praise if they stand up to an offensive male, and they are not considered to be masculine at all if they cuff him on the jowl. In fact, a woman hitting an offensive man in the face is a socially acceptable form of assault in our culture, and the man is more likely to be laughed at for his lack of self-control than to be given any sympathy. For your culture and its problems, don't feel too concerned. If my people can pull their heads out of their pasty, white asses, then anyone in the world can. Seriously, the only real advantage we had is that King Lois the XIV and his grandson were such obviously foul pieces of worm-ridden shit that only a fool would not realize it. The French people hated these men and the assholes they surrounded themselves with so much that nobody in the world has criticized them for trying to do mass genocide against the French nobility. With such incredible assholes like those men, it may be terrible to react with genocidal ambitions, but this can be forgiven as temporary social insanity. The Sun King forever befouled and spoiled the idea that heterosexual men should be allowed to be fancy.
which is more evil ? rape of a stranger or rape of someone known to the rapist is domestic rape & homicide better or worse than rape and murder of a stranger ? these questions must be asked to find the answer to your question.
I enjoyed your post very much, Alien Cockroach. There are many things to relate. I think the most important thing is the way it makes me realise how much experience I lack. About life and people. Missing the little details. Those are the crucial ones, aren't they? Extreme empathy turning in to apathy in need of defense, causing drawbacks and weak tolerance. May be, you meant to tell something completely difference, but in my current weird state of mind, among all things, I am just getting how much I don't know the thing I think, I know the most. It's ej, by the way. Nice to meet you.
It's all together evil. But surely it would be worse from somebody you know and trust, the worst, somebody you love. Can't even imagine it.
Well, if you are a female, which I may wrongly assume, I strongly advise this: never stay long with a man who checks his eggs for shell. In fact, you should put some shell in there deliberately on at least one occasion, so you can see whether he continues eating them after you hear the crunching. If he continues eating them, you can rest in confidence that you have been with a true man. If he quits eating them, though, you should leave his miserable, ungrateful ass at once. However, if you perform this test of his manliness, you should tearfully apologize to him for this "mistake." A man knows a true woman by the immense pride she takes in her cooking, and he dares not offend it. If he does, he will not be having very much sex.
Eggs with shells it will be then. Mental note secured to be used in, when this female returns to the world of dating. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
for me it would be worse if a stranger did it. I would be angry if a loved one raped me. I would be scared as hell if it was a stranger.
Think about how far regular non-rapist guys will go to bed their women. They will do practically anything. Other guys will do anything.
I don't know what this arguments nets us. If no sex existed then it would not be enbarassing to be naked, and so the naked pyramids they made prisoners form at Aby Ghraib would never have been done. Ergo, prisoner abuse at that prison was about sex, not power? What about the part where they made them stand with their faces uncomfortably close to/touching another man's genitals? Was that about sex? It seems clear to me that that was about power, not sex. Rape is more sexual in that it often (though not always) ends in an orgasm. Whether that means it is "about" sex seems to me to be a question of the intent of the rapist. I suspect for some it is about sex, especially in date rape or pedophiliac style situations. I'd be stunned is there were *never* a case in which the act was more about dominance. In fact, I think dominance is likle another common reason for that crime. Many social species are known to use aggressive sex as a means of domination rather than simply as a sex act. You can observe it in any dog park on any given day, somtimes with malesdogs humping (or tryting to hump) other males.
Rape is all about sex. It always has been, and it always will be, although it would of course be nice if it never needed to happen ever again. I'm so sick of hearing this "rape is all about power" bullshit. Sex is not just the act of physical intercourse. It's not just about attraction. It is a complex dynamic that comes into play in almost every situation. Every single time that two people interact, whether it is a male and a female, or a male and a male, or a female and a female, sex is involved on some level. It is of course typically more evident and more significant when members of the opposite sex interact, but attraction doesn't need to be present for sex to be an influencing factor. Rape is indeed often about power, but it is about sex first. The issue is clouded simply because sex itself is a power struggle that while manifesting itself so moderately in the average individual that they typically wouldn't even think about it that way, often becomes an unhealthy fixation in less balanced individuals. A typical example is a guy who starts out relatively normally in life, but due to a number of rejections and/or lack of perceived respect from women at critical junctions, starts to fantasize about evening the score and eventually acts to that end. But then again, maybe he didn't start out so "normally" either. In the end, it seems we are looking at two sides of the same coin. The point is, you have to look at them together.
i agree Rav. as if you cannot have power over someone without have sex with them. i never understood why people made that claim anyway.
Having any influence or manipulation over another person is about power. However, if you're getting something out of it at the same time I would say you have an ulterior motive and are merely using that power to get something else.
I think we can all agree that rape is a form of abuse, and abuse is not a show of power. That is a lie. Abuse is actually a show of weakness.
