# Is it wrong to be disgusted by homosexuals?

Discussion in 'Ethics, Morality, & Justice' started by francois, Feb 1, 2007.

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1. ### francoisSchwat?Registered Senior Member

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Is it wrong to be disgusted by homosexuals?

I’m not homophobic, but I’m not ashamed to say that I find many homosexuals to be obnoxious. I don’t have any problems with anybody who keeps his sexual inclinations to himself. However, I have a huge problem with homosexuals who impose their sexuality on me and others. Let me explain what I mean.

I don’t have a problem with women giving me the eye. What I mean by “the eye” is the look a person gives you when it’s clear that they’re interested in you, and they find you sexually appealing. When a person gives you the eye, a lot of communicated. When a woman gives a man the look, it means he can have sex with her if he puts in a little effort. It is unmistakable when it happens to you. Personally, I find it flattering, no matter who gives me the eye. Even if it’s an ugly chick, my ego gets a boost. If it’s a hot chick, it gets an even greater boost.

Usually men don’t give women the eye, because it’s presupposed that the man will have sex with the girl. A man giving a woman amorous eyes would be redundant. Thus, it is questionable when a man does it.

However, when I get the eye from homosexuals, I am put off. I don’t know why this would ever need to be explained to homosexuals, but here it is: Don’t ever assume a random person is gay. Don’t put the moves on another person, unless you’re sure he/she is also a homosexual. Heterosexual males don’t appreciate it when homosexual males hit on them. It is disgusting, because men know men. We know what they want to violate our corn holes and we are disgusted by it. It doesn’t just apply to being hit on. It also applies to compliments. If a homosexual man compliments me on my looks, I don’t take it the same way I would from a woman, or even a fat, ugly woman. I take it that he wants to violate my corn hole.

What pisses me off on top of that is sheer (I’m not talking about all homosexuals—I have no problems whatsoever with people who keep their sexualities to themselves, regardless of what they do in private.) audacity that some homosexual men have. One of my brothers told me a story about him in a bar one time. There was this one guy who joined my brother and his friends at a table. He was a nice enough guy who just wanted to make friends. Then the guy started talking to one of my brother’s friends. My brother’s friend was very drunk and the two of them were hanging out, talking and having a good time. And then suddenly, the guy said to my brother’s friend, “How would you like to give me a blow job in the bath room for $10?” Needless to say, the friend was stunned and stalled—completely caught unaware, not knowing how to respond. My brother then stood up and told the guy that he had to leave immediately. He did. Now, let’s ignore the homosexual’s lack of social graces. Let’s say he was just hitting on him and he didn’t actually ask him for a blow job for$10. It’s still wrong because he was assuming he was gay. It’s stupid for a least a few reasons. One, heterosexual males hate being hit on by homosexual males. Two, chances are high that the male who is being hit on is heterosexual male. This is because we live in a world where most males are heterosexuals. There are a lot more heterosexuals than there are homosexuals. So why do they do it?

It’s arrogant. Do they think if they’re charming enough the heterosexual male might appreciate the effort? Do they think there’s a chance the heterosexual might turn into a homosexual? “Well, I’m not gay, but for you, I might make an exception.” No. Trust me, we don’t want your advances. We don’t appreciate your compliments. We don’t even like hearing you talking about sex in general.

I don’t care about what people do in private. If a man has raunchy dirty sex with another consenting man, that’s fine with me. But don’t talk to me about it. I can assure you, I’m not interested. You’re not special, and I’m not going to make an exception for you. While you’re at it, don’t tell me I’m good looking either. Don’t hit on me, and above all, don’t give me the eyes.

Am I wrong here?

3. ### NickelodeonBannedBanned

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Do all homosexuals behave the same way?

5. ### visceral_instinctMonkey see, monkey denigrateValued Senior Member

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Yes that dude was a rude git and lacked social graces, but I don't think it's so wrong to assume someone is gay, if I hit on a good lookng guy, is that wrong because I'm assuming he is heterosexual? How is he supposed to know?

7. ### leopoldValued Senior Member

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17,455
no.
what is wrong is to deny them jobs or housing because they are homosexuals.

8. ### fLuXRegistered Senior Member

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Everyone is free to be disgusted in what they wish, so no you aren't wrong. However, what -is- wrong is to mistreat or act discriminatory against them. Regardless of how they choose to live their lives, they're still human.

Keep in mind also, francois, that homosexual individuals do not have the luxury of finding people that are like them in a random bar. For Heterosexuals its simple, you see the opposite sex, you go for it. For them? I imagine there is some guessing involved. If it happens to you, brush it off. Some of them share the same interests as women, so its fair to assume a girl would find the same things in you attractive that a guy would. Look for the silver lining.

9. ### RomanBannedBanned

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11,560
Maybe you ping as fag on the gaydar, francois.

I mean, your pseudonym is francois. How pussy is that?

PansexualPride likes this.
10. ### zenbabelfishautonomous hyperreal sophistRegistered Senior Member

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I would reject any Freudian notion that homophobia is entirely due to the suppression of homosexual tendencies; I think that there is an evolutionary trait that prevents males from being attracted to other males...if this trait didn't exist then reproduction would stop.

Primates express all manner of sexual and social groupings and to my experience this is mirrored in human populations...therefore I would regard homosexuality as entirely natural - disgust being culturally-derived but as a by-product of a trait offering fitness in the environment.

11. ### francoisSchwat?Registered Senior Member

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Perhaps you're right. However, that doesn't matter. The point is, gays should be sure that the person they're hitting on, complimenting or making some kind of advance on, is also gay. So hitting on and flirting with another person of the same gender is fine if you're in a gay bar or in some gay place. That's fine. That's what those places are for. But hitting on somebody or making some kind of advance on a person in a regular bar or any not explicitly gay public place should be absolutely, positively sure that the person he/she is hitting on is also gay. They should bend over backwards. Even if I do look gay (which I don't), a homosexual shouldn't hit on me. Unless a homosexual is in a gay bar, they should ask the people around "Hey, do you know if that person is gay/available for some man-on-man action?" And then when they've talked to enough people to be confident that the person in question is in fact, gay, then that person can go ahead and flirt and camp it up with said person.

You think Francois is a pussy name? It's not pussy. It's just French. All French names sound pussy to us. Jacques. Uh, Ivan. Jean-paul. It sounds gay as hell, I'll admit. But it's not.

12. ### spidergoatValued Senior Member

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I think the behavior you describe is very rare.

13. ### James RJust this guy, you know?Staff Member

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francois:

You seem to have double standards. You're quite ok with heterosexual men "hitting" on girls in bars, it seems, trying to pick them up. But when it comes to homosexual men hitting on men in bars to try to pick them up, then you get all offended.

I can only assume that you feel somehow threatened by homosexuals showing interest in you. Yet, at the same time, you can't comprehend that a woman might equally feel threatened by your uninvited interest in her.

You say:

And yet, you seem quite willing to impose your sexuality on other people. And you also seem quite happy for others to impose their sexuality on you - provided that you welcome their advances.

So, it seems to me that what you really want is for people to read your mind and magically deduce whether you want sexual attention or not. If they are a "hot chick", then bring it on. But if they are a "hot guy", they should somehow just know that you're not into that.

If you're claiming that men never make sexual advances to girls - that it's always the other way around - you're living in a fantasyland. Males are constantly throwing themselves at women in the hope of a favourable response - much moreso than vice versa.

But you're happy to "put the moves on" any women, I suppose. What if she is homosexual? Shouldn't you check, first, like you expect men to check your sexuality? Tell me - how do you propose that will work? "Hi, I'm Bernard." "Hi, I'm francois." "Just checking, francois - are you homosexual?"

Why? There's no "violation" between consenting adults.

And you think that there aren't equally audacious heterosexual men who go around propositioning every woman they see and think might be fair game?

How hard is it to say "Thanks, but I'm not interested"?

Well, it might be a 7 to 1 ratio, or something like that. Not terrible odds.

Do the men who proposition women think the same thing?

I don't think many homosexual men would have a problem with that. They would be quite happy to avoid you.

14. ### Prince_JamesPlutarch (Mickey's Dog)Registered Senior Member

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James R.:

Serious, non-baiting, question: Are you, yourself, a homosexual?

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16. ### Search & DestroyTake one bite at a timeModerator

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1,466
whats harder

homos stopping the eye
or
us not getting turned off by it

17. ### Prince_JamesPlutarch (Mickey's Dog)Registered Senior Member

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9,214
James R.:

To guage whether your lack of empathy regarding heterosexual distaste of homosexual advances (and the acts they imply) is rooted in your own sexuality being distinct from heterosexuality. That is to say, just as one cannot rightfully say they can imagine they hate chocolate if they love chocolate, so too can someone who loves men cannot imagine that they do not.

18. ### Baron MaxRegistered Senior Member

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23,053
Apparently not!! There are "Gay Pride" marches; "Gay Coming-Out" parties; "Lesbian Pride" day; .....and a whole slew of such bullshit!! Which is, if you can't figure it out, letting everyone know who and what they are.

When's the last time you saw a parade for "Men Who Love Pussy-Eating"? Or "Women Who Love Suckin' Dick" parades? Or "Males Who Love Fuckin' Pussy" parades and demonstrations?

Baron Max

19. ### BenTheManDr. of Physics, Prof. of LoveValued Senior Member

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Ok---here's one. If a guy makes an unwanted advance on a woman, it is ok for her to slap him right? If a gay man makes an unwanted advance on me, can I do the same?

Have you ever accidentally hit on a lesbian? I mean, do you go through a checklist before you approach a girl to make sure that she is straight (as you would have gay men do)?

It's like Feynman said---you never know unless you ask.

I think you are getting way too worked up over this. Imagine it this way---not only do girls want to sleep with you, but so do guys. That's awesome. You should get an ego boost out of that.

It seems that you aren't disgusted with the sexual freedom that one observes on Friday nights in the local bar, so I am interested that you seem to have some sort of moral objection to homosexuality.

20. ### James RJust this guy, you know?Staff Member

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29,990
Prince_James:

You think that if somebody isn't homophobic themselves, they can't possibly comprehend what it is to be homophobic, or what might motivate that?

I find it interesting that you think that poor men who are occasionally "hit on" against their wills by homosexuals require "empathy" - as if such an act amounts to a devastating affront to their dignity and self-image. Maybe for the men who react in this way, it does. But then, the relevant question to ask is: what, in fact, is it that they find offensive?

Clearly, this is not a mere objection about overt sexuality, since the same men are fine for such displays to occur provided that they are the kind of displays they personally approve of or participate in.

I'm more inclined to think that the literal meaning of "homophobia" is relevant here.

On the subject of my own sexuality, I have to say that, frankly, what I do in the privacy of my bedroom is none of your business. Moreover, I can't see that it would in any way help make my point to "come out" as either straight or gay here. If I say I'm straight, you'll argue that I can't comment on the motivations of gay people, and that I've probably never been "hit on" by a gay male in an unwelcome way. On the other hand, if I say I'm gay, then you replay you argument that I can't possibly understand what a straight man might think, because I haven't walked a mile in his shoes. Either way, revealing my sexual preference doesn't help me.

What I will say, and what should be clear from what I have written here and elsewhere on the matter, I have no problem with people being homosexual. It is an entirely natural human variation. Most people who object do so on religious grounds, whether or not they admit as much overtly. In fact, I wonder what francois's religious views are. For that matter, I wonder what your religious views are.

But then, I think you're about as likely to reveal your religious outlook as I am to reveal my sexual preferences in the current context.

Baron Max:

Minorities with a history of repression and suppression often feel that it is necessary to stake out their claim as legitimate members of society.

Heterosexual males have no such need. They are already accepted as the "norm".

21. ### zenbabelfishautonomous hyperreal sophistRegistered Senior Member

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But that doesn't account for an evolutionary trait designed to safeguard against extinction through lack of reproduction. We can't feel ego-boosted because nature didn't design us that way...

22. ### zenbabelfishautonomous hyperreal sophistRegistered Senior Member

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"Minorities with a history of repression and suppression often feel that it is necessary to stake out their claim as legitimate members of society."

However, this reinforces notions of 'otherness' - surely it is better to accept the fact that you have been accepted as a norm and get on without maintaining a separate identity from the norm.

23. ### James RJust this guy, you know?Staff Member

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29,990
Do you think homosexuals have been accepted as a "norm"? I'll bet Prince_James and francois and Baron Max don't think homosexuality is "normal".