Is hot sauce and cold showers discipline or abuse?

I apply the same amount of physical parenting as verbal, maybe the same type of treatment a mother cat will give to her young, showing by physical example can be as good as verbal.

With a very young baby talking to him/her wont have much result you need to be physical, that is not to say cause any sort of harm just nudge them in the right direction or assist them with aid.


Causing any sort of damage to any living thing is wrong be it child adult or a kitten.


peace.

 

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to james,

i would imagine that the parents stop smacking when the child is grown enough to smack back.

 

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Thanks Visceral_Instinct.

 

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Hot sauce in the mouth followed by a cold shower and a beating with a bamboo stick. this is how you wake the 4 year old students of the Shaolin Temple up.

Promotes love.


peace.

 

Of course, everyone would agree they shouldn't do bad things. But they do, and few consider what to do if they don't listen to your talking.

I never said beating, I said punishment.

Not at all, you suggest talking works, and I'm sure there are cases it does, I'm informing you there are ones when it doesn't.

Straw man.
You live in an idealistic world of believing talking always works and no punishment is ever necessary and I suggest the real world contains those the method doesn't work on - but you try to turn the tables. Poor form.

I'd say a large % at a young age but gradually improving with knowledge and experience. Perhaps a more accurate and fair statement would be that they all have their moments where talking doesn't work, but some far rarer than others.

As a first option or a regular option then of course it isn't right, but when you say you've seen it, how do you know it isn't a pre-existing problem where the child has already been spoken to and refused to listen? How often do parents utter the words "I've told you before"? It's a bit much to judge people on a small snippet of their lives.

Perhaps I should have said "further punishment", but again you're presuming that makes a difference, and whilst in some cases it might, in some it doesn't.

I think it's quite clear with the word "special" and the context of removing priviledges that I was only considering non-essentials commonly removed from children such as sweets and cakes. Luxuries much like the toys. Again, this does not always work.

Of course, I've never suggested otherwise. I merely object to the idealistic idea that every child can be raised without occassional resorting to a stronger punishment; and the notion that the occassional physical or emotional punishment has any long term detrimental effects to a person.

I think the probable psychological effects could be argued as abusive and damaging, but this point was really just to tie in with the argument that something happening against a persons will makes it abusive, when that is not necessarily so, but that it very obviously can be in many situations.

 

i wonder why mad has ignored 58

 

I would guess it's the leading and selective nature of the questions.

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I may endulge you later, but having never raised a hand to another human being, much less a child, I don't think my answers will be of much use to you.

On the same note I see the non-smackers are clinging to their notions of idealism and avoiding tackling the issue of what to do when more acceptable punishments have failed - and also the issue of where the line between abuse and discipline in fact is.

 

What is the point you are looking for? If I missed what you were getting at then I'd be happy to clarify.

 

I didn't bring it up because I was reccommending it. It was part of what I wrote earlier about hot sauce not being dangerous when placed in your mouth. Uncomfortable possibly, and that is kind of the point if it is being used as a punishment.

If my mother slapped me in the face and it didn't bring any harm to me, I wouldn't have liked it, but I wouldn't call that abuse either. But people rarely slap others as punishment, it is usually a way to vent frustration and taking your frustations out on others I am never okay with regardless of how it is done.

This I don't understand. What did I write that led you think that I see people as inanimate objects or shallow? Actually I think the opposite. People are not simple Which is why I think parents should use whatever method they believe is most effective and is best for their child. There is more than one way to skin a cat so to speak.
Two kids with the same parents may require different methods of discipline, to get the same result; which is a happy, respectable, well mannered, well adjusted adult.

To be honest it seems to me that people who think the best alternative to physical punishment is to have privledges taken away or grounding. That kind of assumes everyone is the same and that these methods are effective for all children of all ages. When they are not necessarily. I was one of the children it was not effective on, but there are many kids that it does work on. I think parents should have several options available to them and just because a punishment is physical does not automatically make it abusive.

 

I haven't been active in any threads the past few days. I've been busy.

Ok? There might be some circumstance in which it would be. But I'm doubtful and it's not likely to be an effective punishment at that age (not to mention that with a teenage girl spanking might have some unwanted sexual overtones). Even my 11 year old son is pretty much too old for spanking. Why? Other punishments are simply more effective.

The other day I asked him if he'd prefer a spanking over a cold shower or being banned from his Xbox for a week. He said he'd prefer the spanking over either alternativ. So, obviosly, a spanking is no longer an effective punishment.

A smack on the hand or the bottom might be appropriate in certain circumstances. Say he was about to stick a fork in an electric socket or stick his hand in fire.

Start? Probably sometime between one and two, obviously a younger child requires much less force and only warrents corporal punishment in certain circumstances. Upper limit? Depends upon the child. It should be discontinued when it is no longer the most effective punishment in a given situation. Probably sometime between 8 and 10.

Exactly.

A very unlikely scenario.

Punishment without understanding would be useless. But, as discussed above, if your 2 year old were about to stick a fork in an electric socket, I'm pretty sure he'd understand when you grabbed the fork, smacked his hand, and yelled, "no!".

See above, the most effective punishment should be used. A tween/pre-teen boy would find denial of the right to play video games or use the computer to be a much greater deterrent than a smack on the bottom. A girl of the same age (my daughter, anyway), would find being banned from her cell phone or being grounded to be a very effective deterrent.