# Intelligence and loneliness

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by S.A.M., Mar 18, 2010.

1. ### DywyddyrPenguinaciously duckalicious.Valued Senior Member

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WTF?
Proof? Maths?

1: what makes you think that a folk saying is valid as a proof?*
2: Yup. So what?
3: Therefore? How does "therefore" arise? Are you assuming that "highly intelligent people" only make friends with other "highly intelligent people"? Could you provide some evidence for this please?

* It's been a long night for me so I can't, offhand, think of any other (equally rigorous

) homily to contradict it. But, for example "Many hands make light work" vs. "Too many cooks spoil the broth".

3. ### chimpkinC'mon, get happy!Registered Senior Member

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It isn't, but sociology sez he's(and it's) right. Also personal experience.

You too, Dwy,...idiocy drives you berserk, right? so it's harder to find people for whom you won't eventually get that "The stupid! it BURNS!!!!" reaction.

It's hard to achieve closeness with people who regularly annoy the crap out of you. So for good friends, you will want someone with similar values, thoughts, and intellect...not identical, but fairly close.

I get accused of being depressing and negative when I bring things like peak oil, global warming, and soil depletion up. I am depressing and negative, but that doesn't mean I'm not frakking right!

:wallbang:

5. ### DywyddyrPenguinaciously duckalicious.Valued Senior Member

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It's a tendency, agreed, but not an absolute. E.g. "birds of a feather" also fall out/ avoid each other (the people variety at least), and people, being people, also tend to seek out human company regardless of that company's intelligence. Do you particularly care that a regular drinking buddy isn't as smart as you? You find things to talk about that don't involve quantum physics (er, I'm assuming that anyway - that topic has been known to be a subject of conversation over a pint or two. As has "how to build a nuclear weapon"

)*.

But "less than highly intelligent" doesn't necessarily mean stupid or deluded. And in fact, "high intelligence" is no guarantee against some (all?) forms of particular stupidity/ delusion.

Meh, how about this: the more "highly intelligent" you are the wider your range of interests. Therefore you have more friends because you are a "member" of more "groups"? You can split off and apportion your intelligence/ interests and spread it around.

I'm sure most people who belong to two or three different interest groups "dread" all of those groups getting together because of the ensuing potential for "WTF are you interested in that for? It's kid's stuff/ inane/ useless/ waste of time".

7. ### DywyddyrPenguinaciously duckalicious.Valued Senior Member

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And it just struck me: knowing lots of people (and getting on with them) does not mean you're not lonely.
So ignore my previous post and at the same time ignore SomethingClever's "proof".
"Being lonely", as S.A.M. pointed out on the first page is NOT the same as "being alone".

8. ### chimpkinC'mon, get happy!Registered Senior Member

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True that, I have that "hamster-ball effect" that often makes me actually feel more isolated in crowds.

9. ### KennycRegistered Senior Member

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993
And the moral is, don't read ridiculously fluffy novels.

:shrug:

10. ### SomethingCleverRegistered Senior Member

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I'd like to support this theory by saying that I, as the town idiot, am intimidated by the more brainy folk-- they're all consumed with the meaning of life, the ills of contemporary America, and all that philosophy and art shit. who needs contemplation when you have Dane Cook, energy drinks, and TITTIES!!!

Last edited: May 14, 2011
11. ### DywyddyrPenguinaciously duckalicious.Valued Senior Member

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Now this is patent nonsense and completely insupportable.
For example I couldn't give a shit about "the ills of contemporary America" since I don't live there, and whatever problems the US has will have little effect on me.

I've never heard of Dane Cook and I dislike energy drinks...

12. ### SomethingCleverRegistered Senior Member

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be thankful, very thankful.
as for the "ills of contemporary America," an argument can be made that the most intelligent people are apathetic to politics because they see its relative insignificance in the larger, universal picture (things like "what is reality?" and "are we all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively?")

... or maybe I need to lay off the chronic

13. ### chimpkinC'mon, get happy!Registered Senior Member

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I'm politically apathetic because I realize my government's been bought out from under me... and I don't have the \$ to matter.

Reality-spelunking and politics are two different subrealities, you wear the correct pair of shoes for each...

If you are thinking this...chances are you at least need to cut way back, yeah.

14. ### kriminal99Registered Senior Member

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Well lets see. IQ is 80% correlated with vocabulary size. Say you are 150 IQ and someone else is 100 IQ. You have a 50% larger vocabulary. Say the trend extends to concepts that don't have labels - the things you notice and try to find the words to describe. (The topics of conversation). Everything you want to talk about with them you are going to have to break down into smaller and smaller pieces. Huge hindrance to communication.

Now, how many people in your group are around? Well 130 IQ is like 1 in 150 people. And the rareness increases exponentially with score. So yeah, sounds like a good argument to me.

15. ### SomethingCleverRegistered Senior Member

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"Everything you want to talk about with them you are going to have to break down into smaller and smaller pieces. Huge hindrance to communication."

that pretty much sums it all up.

and to Dwyndyrr, your posts strike me as cold, arrogant, and pretentious (or maybe I'm just bitter you rejected my proof)
anyway, those traits will contribute to loneliness far more than abnormal intelligence ever will.

That said, I fully agree with what you said here: "knowing lots of people (and getting on with them) does not mean you're not lonely."
Personally, I feel adored by many, and my funeral will be a magnificent turn out (humble, I know)
however (and this will sound VERY pretentious), I feel that I am far more interesting to most people than they are to me, if that makes sense. I have many, many friends, but few are those who can see what I see, so at times I feel very lonely.

Last edited: May 27, 2011
16. ### John99BannedBanned

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which just shows the problems with IQ tests, yes?

Do you think that maybe the person with the low vocabulary is as intelligent or more intelligent?

Hell, a person can know a hundred or so words and be a genius.

17. ### SomethingCleverRegistered Senior Member

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agreed. but in western societies, vocabulary does seem like a solid indicator of intelligence (personal experience, nothing more). A good counter-example is my dad, who has a strong vocabulary but is an oblivious fool in many, many ways.

I think a better way to gauge intelligence is to look into someones eyes.

Last edited: May 27, 2011
18. ### chimpkinC'mon, get happy!Registered Senior Member

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So you are only interested in people if they can reflect back at you what you see? Like mirrors?

Some people like jigsaw puzzles.
I like people.

This is why I want to be a therapist.
I get to spend all day figuring out people? Helping them figure themselves out? helping them transform themselves?
And for this they would pay me?

But, well, people also terrify me for reasons I'm just not going to discuss on an open forum.

There are different intelligences and aptitudes...and not everyone's verbal or social in aptitude.

Something else to note...women bond by sharing secrets. Men generally bond by nonverbally doing stuff together.
This is probably mostly down to socialization, but can cause problems, most especially in the hetero-standard relationships, as men and women have slightly different ways of indirectly communicating "I love you," "You're special," and so on.

Of course, as my wife and I can tell you, communication is the heart of any marriage, and there are a million ways it can go awry.

19. ### John99BannedBanned

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Certainly not just Western Societies and probably more significant in developing nations. Developed nations may even have people who look at it as 'how many damn words do i have to know?'
Personally, i would only apply that to commentators, some writers (not all). A person can have an enormous vocabulary and still be near imbecile.

20. ### SomethingCleverRegistered Senior Member

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the more I think about it, the more I regret writing that. in fact I enjoy being around lesser minds, it gets me off.
also, my best friend, while similar enough to be my best friend, is very, very different. We sort of complete each others deficiencies. for instance, he is a genius when it comes to interacting with people and gaining their affections, whereas I am at my best when absorbed in thought.

but either way, when I deeply, deeply connect with someone, it tends to happen when we have similar worldviews and a similar general awareness, if that makes any sense.

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:roflmao:

22. ### John99BannedBanned

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Here is something i wil trow out there:

Well...one can argue that the intelligent person can occupy their minds better.

In that way with people of lesser intelligence we see a linear escalation in boredom. Operating within a certain boundary, of course, fitting within the realm of what we define as "normal intelligence".

23. ### Motor Daddy☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼☼Valued Senior Member

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5,105
Loneliness is the feeling of being alone, not necessarily being alone.

You can feel lonely that your kids grew up and left the nest. The thought of all the wonderful times you spent with them and now they are not around can make you feel lonely. "The empty nest" feeling.

Somebody you cherish can die, and you will feel lonely.

Loneliness plays out in your memory. You can think of times long past and feel lonely.

I don't think you can relate intelligence to loneliness. Loneliness is more an emotion caused by thought processes of the past, present, and future.