Its been two years since I lost my faith. This never used to be a problem because the issue could always be delayed to an afterlife concern. The issue is this - its equally unsettling to me to die or live forever. In the first case, especially if I am just passing the time browsing something, it suddenly hits me that these moments have little value to me but at some point in time they will end for me. Even if we somehow manage to stave off aging, death is just an accident away. And nothing can get past the heat death anyway. This all is very abstract but I get this image in my head, of closing my eyes and seeing the world for the last time. Of moving my last muscle or taking my last breath. And no matter what I do, how well I take care of myself, that moment is coming. Even the time taken to write this has only brought me closer to it. And then I will not exist. No perception, no thoughts and nothing. Everything that happened, good or bad, will simply cease to matter. All my successes and failings will be for nothing. All so that some fucking genes can pass onto to another generation. The panic is strong enough to bring to tears and keep me up for the better part of the night. This happens every few dozen days regardless of my mood or other activities in my life. I don't know what to do, where to find solace or a way out of this mental torment. Any help or advice on what to do? Any similiar experiences to share? Ps. I know of Dawkins' "We are going to die and that makes us the lucky ones" but I can't get myself to agree. Its like asking if its better to give nothing to a child or give it an ice-cream and then snatch it back.