i need phsycological help..

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by NMSquirrel, Oct 4, 2010.

  1. NMSquirrel OCD ADHD THC IMO UR12 Valued Senior Member

    actually is was more of a why you think spirituality doesn't have anything to do with a persons state of being..
    you defended by saying that conversation was a waste of your time..
    which intoned a lack of knowledge..IOW you don't know..so you avoided the question.

    we didn't accuse..
    getting defensive?
    well i can verify that you listen..
    empathize( you gave me lip for misspelling in my title..so there....:b )you have to..if you didn't you wouldn't be a very good psychologist

    the question still stands..would you tell a patient that the question they just asked is a waste of your time?

    took me a couple days to understand this one..(still may not)
    is the question..
    how do you make it so a person picking out another in a line up does not pick a person just because of certain characteristics that are shared between prisoners?

    distinctive characteristics?
    beard,tattoos,scars? (physical?)
    slouch,lean,fidgit,roll eyes? (mannerism?)

    demand characteristics?
    what a witness would expect a criminal to have?
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  3. answers Registered Senior Member


    "actually is was more of a why you think spirituality doesn't have anything to do with a persons state of being.."

    Problem is that I answered this question already, I said that there are more parsimonious explanations that do not require another mystical dimension to explain certain psychological mechanisms and behaviour. I listed human needs theory as an example. Please explain to me how that doesn't answer your question.

    "well i can verify that you listen..
    empathize( you gave me lip for misspelling in my title..so there....:b )you have to..if you didn't you wouldn't be a very good psychologist"

    I gave you lip because you were saying stupid things and you don't pay me money. Am I not allowed to point out when people are saying stupid things about psychology? I must have missed that rule?

    "the question still stands..would you tell a patient that the question they just asked is a waste of your time?"

    No that's a new question. Before you asked, would I tell a patient that they are a waste of time.

    I answered that question. No.

    Now you are asking a new question. Please don't make out that I'm not answering your questions.

    As for your new question. Can you please give an example. I'll give a quick example of what I think you might be asking.

    If the patient says something like "I'm very spiritual and my partner isn't, and he won't go to church, etc.. etc..." I would talk to the partner about accepting influence and finding common ground. That question isn't a waste of time because it's a valid issue in their relationship. Personally I would never get into a relationship with a religious person. Luckily I'm soon to be engaged to a wonderful atheist girl (if she says yes lol). But my personal view of religion is not relevent to the person's situation. With any relationship you are choosing a partner, and in doing so you are choosing a set of problems that will never be solved. For example say the husband doesn't end up with the spiritual woman that he doesn't agree with, maybe he will end up with a woman that flirts with his friends. Or maybe he will end up with a woman that spends too much money. Or maybe he will end up with a woman that hates his family. Whatever the case may be, no relationship is going to be without issues. It's how you deal with those issues which determines if the relationship will last. The partner of the religious woman needs to accept that this spiritual issues is just something he has to deal with. He may then choose to reach a compromise such as going to church once a month with her. Or letting her raise their child as Christians. If he doesn't accept influence then the relationship is doomed. Furthermore common ground needs to be reached. This might take the form of the wife admitting that she doesn't agree with everything about religion, and that the garden of eden wasn't literal, or that she understands why he is skeptical.

    Anyway I could go on and on in regards to what I would say. But short answer is no I would not tell a patient their question concerning spirituality was a waste of time.

    If they came right out and said something like "I'm very spiritual, what do you think of that." I would say: "my views of your spirituality doesn't matter. What makes you bring up the topic of your spirituality?"

    As for what demand characteristics are, they are caused in an experiment when the participant knows the purpose of the experiment. So when choosing a target from a lineup they know that the purpose is to choose the right target, this will make the experimenter happy or the police officer happy if the right criminal is chosen. So they feel pressured to make a choice. This results in a huge amount of guessing. Guessing increases even when the target isn't in the lineup, so instead of choosing no response they'll choose to guess. This is the demand characteristic of the lineup.

    I ended up making the recommendation that police present multiple lineups, so that the participant doesn't feel the pressure to guess. They will know that there is a 1 in 4 chance (with 4 lineups presented) that the target will be in the present lineup. So this might lead them to choose no response when they really don't know if the target is there or not.

    Anyway that's all off topic.
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  5. NMSquirrel OCD ADHD THC IMO UR12 Valued Senior Member

    um if you want to break up the quote..the [ QUOTE ] starts the quote and the [ / QUOTE ] will end the quote (without spaces)

    i think you are assigning more to spirituality than it is..it appears that you are assigning spirituality as exclusive to a religion, you do not need to believe in a god to have spirituality..most do..but a god is not necessary for spirituality..i cannot completely answer your questions as to the how's of how that happens (maybe we should start another thread.."does spirituality need god?") that does not mean i think it doesn't exist..
    (isn't nichi godless?)
    i think what i said earlier about faith applies to this (accepting without understanding)

    i was talking about when you pointed to my spelling mistake in the title of this thread..i pointed to your misspell of 'emphasize'..that was all..

    and again would you tell your patients they were saying stupid things?
    for that matter would you tell anyone else in your life that?

    and when did i specifically say anything stupid about psychology?
    i have said over and over that those are my observations..psychology is the closest i can come to communicating such..

    this is sound advice especially the part that i quoted inside it(my editor isn't working right, had to cut and paste otherwise i would have just bolded it)..when i meet someone who agrees with everything about a religion, i cannot trust them..
    but i digress,again you are marrying religion with spirituality..IOW
    you don't need a god to be spiritual..i personally think it helps, but i have heard enough stories to accept that it doesn't have to.

    i know of a couple of psychologist who would never say that as they are christian (Dr.Dobson is one),
    so to me that says you want to avoid any discussions on spirituality, pry from a lack of understanding as to what spirituality truly is.(i only say this because it appears you have not studied it in a form without religion attached to it)

    hmm..my brain being the way it is thought of the school system and how they are setup for getting good grades rather than actually learning something.. the focus tends to be getting an A rather than the content of what is being taught..

    too many faces for me..i would end up confusing myself..

    the focus is reducing the pressure to choose?
    or is it to not choose wrong?

    diversions are educational and necessary to gain understanding (dependent on the quality of the diversion) on some subject matters..
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2010
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  7. answers Registered Senior Member

    Thanks for the tip with the quote (hopefully I've done it right). As for my spelling mistake. It's not a mistake. Empathise is spelt like that in Australia. It's spelt like empathize in America. And you wrote 'emphasize' for the word that I apparently misspelled, however it was actually empathise, not emphasise. And again emphasise is spelt with the 's' instead of the 'z' in Australia. But anyway I'm sure I've made many other spelling mistakes so no big deal. But a spelling mistake in the title of your topic is not a great way to start a post.

    As for telling my patients they are saying stupid things. Of course I would. I wouldn't use the word 'stupid' but challenging someones thoughts is what REBT is all about. I often challenge what someone says when it's 'stupid'. For example people using contradictory logic. I point out that the logic is wrong.

    As for other people in my life, I tell them they are saying stupid things all the time... I know that probably makes me a prick, but I can live with that.

    I'm a lot more gentle with my patients of course. You have to keep it professional.

    Anyway I've got to clean the house before my gf gets home. I shall finish replying to your post then.
  8. answers Registered Senior Member

    My comment about the questions being a waste of time were mainly directed at Moose. Your mistake that I viewed as stupid, was trying to justify spirituality. And on that topic, can you please define your defintion of spirituality.

    Yes there are psychologist who suffer from the delusion of religion.

    Again can you please define spirituality as the actual definition doesn't seem to fit your definition:

    spirituality [ˌspɪrɪtjʊˈælɪtɪ]
    n pl -ties
    1. (Christianity / Ecclesiastical Terms) the state or quality of being dedicated to God, religion, or spiritual things or values, esp as contrasted with material or temporal ones

    And again I'll say that discussing spirituality is a waste of my time... because there is no evidence for it.

    If you want to discuss the psychological mechanisms that people label as spirituality, that's fine with me.
  9. NMSquirrel OCD ADHD THC IMO UR12 Valued Senior Member

    i found this as a definition:
    Spirituality can refer to an ultimate reality or transcendent dimension of the world; an inner path enabling a person to discover the essence of his or her being, or the “deepest values and meanings by which people live.” . ...
    here..(http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&...y&sa=X&ei=wIXETKiUFJGgsQPz8tSODA&ved=0CCAQkAE) sorry buttons still not working in my editor

    you have brought up an interesting question on my side..how do I define spirituality..i have never really though of it in terms of communication as most ppl i talk to i can assume they understand a certain amount of what it is..IOW i am still trying to figure out how I define it..
    the above description will work for me, for now until i find a way to put it into my own words..it does have an internal component to it,a contemplation of our own sense of self..but not a selfish contemplation per se..
  10. Gremmie "Happiness is a warm gun" Valued Senior Member

    Well, I have a degree in Psych...

    I've always wanted to sacrifice a few pagans...

    Never drove a forklift though..

    And hey, I do live in CA..
  11. NMSquirrel OCD ADHD THC IMO UR12 Valued Senior Member

    sorry gremmie i edited while you were posting..

    what part of CA?

    i only asked him cause he reminded me of a friend i had in CA he was a serious pathetic liar..i trusted him till i found out how much he lied..he was good at it..
  12. Gremmie "Happiness is a warm gun" Valued Senior Member

    I live in the Murrietta/Temecula area now..

    Originally from L.A..
  13. NMSquirrel OCD ADHD THC IMO UR12 Valued Senior Member

    i used to live around santa rosa (north of SF)

    been to LA several times..
  14. Gremmie "Happiness is a warm gun" Valued Senior Member

    I spent 6 mos. in your neck of the woods...

    Well, NM anyway.... Artesia, to be exact.
  15. NMSquirrel OCD ADHD THC IMO UR12 Valued Senior Member

    less bugs here..i think thats why i stayed..
  16. Gremmie "Happiness is a warm gun" Valued Senior Member

    I don't mind the bugs so much...It's the people I want to get away from.:crazy:
  17. NMSquirrel OCD ADHD THC IMO UR12 Valued Senior Member

    unfortunately they are everywhere....
  18. Gremmie "Happiness is a warm gun" Valued Senior Member

    This is true... When I retire, I hope to live far from people..

    I know that sounds misanthropic, but it would be nice to live away from the rat race.
  19. answers Registered Senior Member


    Mate it's very bad form to search the internet for private information about someone and then post it up on a public forum.

    All you had to do was search this forum, I've been VERY open about my past on here:


    "Yeah I left Bible college after 1 year. And now I'm starting my second year studying Psychology at University. I figured that most problems people have and go to church for, are simply emotional/psychological problems. So why not tackle these problems using proven scientifically tested methods, rather then say 'lets pray about it'."

    Quote from 2009.

    I really think I deserve an apology, I did not lie.

    I'm really not impressed at all with what you've done here.
  20. answers Registered Senior Member

    NMSquirrel can you also please delete that post of yours. I do not give you permission to post my email address and old myspace account details, etc... on this public forum.
  21. NMSquirrel OCD ADHD THC IMO UR12 Valued Senior Member

    all that info was public..i did come across your phone number,i did not post that..(even though it was posted in a public forum..bad answers..)
    your email was listed in your profile on this board..accessible by anyone..
    (i will delete it,with the assumption you will remove it from your profile)

    thats fine..but you presented yourself as an atheist,like you had no understanding about spiritual matters.(although if you grew up in a church enviroment with christian parents, it is possible) but you presented a lack of understanding when there should have been some..

    i found other things that led me to believe you are indeed attending psych school..so i will retract that comment about you lieing about psych school..sorry

    and this should be an eye opener as to how easy it is to get info about you on the internet..(there was one web site i could have used to find your full name,address and other stuff about you, but it was a pay site)
    all i did was put your email in the search bar..(mostly it was about your car and your bike)

    all this would have been prevented as you were not very professional by stating those comment about 'stupid' and 'waste of your time',made me wonder if you were a professional or some kid just posing as one, had to find out who i was talking to. (btw 24 is still a kid) so i will not apologize for doing the research on you..
  22. NMSquirrel OCD ADHD THC IMO UR12 Valued Senior Member

    Answers i found this:
    (i think this site would be worth your time to study)
    (isn't there homework assignments you can do that relates?)

    What is Spirituality?
    Spirituality is not bound by any rules. It does not follow any religion and neither does it adhere to any set of principles. Spirituality is the art and science of self-realization. It's a practice of knowing each part of your body. Being spiritual means awakening the very spirit of being who you are. It's means to recognize what you are made of. It can seem complex in the beginning. However, all of us are spiritual beings, it is just a matter of realizing it. Spirituality is a walk towards the ultimate goal of your life. In essence, it's your journey to find yourself. There are many schools of thought that believe in uniting with the pure mental and physical being by meditating. Meditation is focusing on breathing, which is the very reason for existence.
  23. answers Registered Senior Member


    No mate. I wrote that my understanding of spirituality was different to yours. I wrote that my understanding of spirituality was simply that it wasn't anything special, that it was merely beliefs based on psychological needs, with no need for a mystical explanation.

    I asked for a specific definition from you, and it took you quite a while to come up with anything (and you think you're going to write a book on this?).

    As for my understanding of spirituality... well I went to bible college for 2 years, I used to preach at my local church when I was younger, etc... So maybe you shouldn't talk to me like I'm an idiot.

    Mini Statistics
    Date of Birth
    July 28th, 1986 (24)
    Join Date
    Total Posts

    I was clearly displaying my birthdate in my profile. I have absolutely no problem with being 24 years old. And no, 24 years old is not still a kid. Especially not when you moved out of home at 18. Studied at bible college for 2 years. Completed an undergraduate degree in psychology. Work as a reaserch assistant for the australian institute of suicide research and prevention. Own your own counselling business. About to be engaged. And been counselling for a suicide crisis telephone line for the past 1.5 years.

    Can you please name a kid that has done that?

    Also can you please list how many years you've studied religion at college?
    How many years have you studied psychology at college?
    How many years have you worked in mental health?
    How many research projects have you worked on?
    How many suicidal people have you stopped from killing themselves?

    Don't talk down to me like I'm some immature kid. You need to get over yourself. If you had studied psychology and worked in the field as much as I have, your view on psychology would count just as much as mine. But you haven't, and your views don't. You are ignorant in regards to psychology, so you try and tear me down to your level. And you're calling me a kid!

    Grow up mate.

    The reason I said your questions were a waste of time, was because they were. You don't know what you're talking about. Please tell me how many psychology books or research articles you have read to base your 'theories' on?

    Get a clue, start asking questions that a 1st year psychology drop out doesn't know are full of crap. And then I will consider what you have to say.

    But as for right now, your statments are not researched. You are completely ignorant concerning psychology. Yet you still try to make out you know better than me... apparantly because you've had more birthday cakes than me.

    What a joke.
    Last edited: Oct 25, 2010

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