i am not losing weight

Discussion in 'Health & Fitness' started by Skyler45, Apr 9, 2010.

  1. CptBork Robbing the Shalebridge Cradle Valued Senior Member

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    5,778
    Maybe I just live in a society of snobs, but physical attraction is a major factor for almost every woman I've met when I've talked about it. No, it's not the only factor, but it plays a big part especially at the beginning when they need a reason to even be interested in you in the first place. There's a lot of fit, buff young men on the prowl around here and the ladies get spoiled; it doesn't matter that many of these guys are trash once you get past the surface, women will still date them until they find it out for themselves the hard way. Then every time a bunch of women simultaneously find out their boyfriends are psychotic a-holes, rather than trying something different they will simply permute boyfriends and hope for a better result.

    So I'm personally seeking a nice woman with fairly attractive features (I'd say I consider most of the women my age "fairly attractive"), and I'd love to hook them with philosophical discourse and academic charms, but these aren't the things society teaches them to value. Most of the women I get, they're not total outcasts but there's not much of a lineup for them either, so often I'm left with the impression that even these types of women just accept me for lack of better candidates. I've even been in several (brief) relationships where I was hardly attracted to the girl at all and I was actually doing it more out of pity. I don't have any illusions losing weight is going to magically make me a rock star sex symbol, but I can definitely attest that it makes a difference in the way people perceive you and treat you. It's already making a difference for me even now. It's a sh*tty, shallow world, but that's what we've been given.
     
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  3. Skeptical Registered Senior Member

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    Bork

    For most young women, while physical appearance is important, the main factor in a male that attracts them is status. Young women particularly like males who are leaders. This comes out in a wide range of ways, and (of course) every woman is different. So some women are hung up on rock stars. Some on sports heroes. Some few are attracted by academic leaders etc.

    My own experience was interesting. When young, I was a long, long way from being Casanova. My success with women was minimal. However I was (and still am) a keen scuba diver. I trained to become an instructor, and ended up working for a dive shop, and instructing some hundreds of new divers each year. Within the dive class social group I was automatically the leader. Guess what? All of a sudden women from those classes were strongly attracted to me. I had a period of ten years as a full time scuba instructor where I was extremely successful, and enjoyed the intimate company of a number of attractive women.

    Strangely, that was not why I became a scuba instructor. But it was a good time!

    So, if your aim is to become attractive to women, you would be better finding a way to become a leader of a social group that included young, single women.
     
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  5. Lori_7 Go to church? I am the church! Registered Senior Member

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    while i do concur that the world can be shitty and shallow, it's also my opinion that being overweight, or having an eating disorder, is the outward manifestation of some form of weakness, emotional or mental problem. i've struggled with my weight for most of my life, and have been known to binge eat, so i know how it is. it's not healthy, and health and strength is attractive.
     
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  7. Michael 歌舞伎 Valued Senior Member

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    Let's post a list of companies to boycott. I'm sure Starbucks is one isn't it? I hate their coffee anyway so that one was easy.
     
  8. Lori_7 Go to church? I am the church! Registered Senior Member

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    Oh no! Not starbucks!

    How about mcdonalds?

    KFC. As if the buns aren't bad enough they substitute fried chicken breasts and put bacon and cheese in the middle! Gross!!
     
  9. Michael 歌舞伎 Valued Senior Member

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    There must be a list somewhere?
     
  10. Michael 歌舞伎 Valued Senior Member

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    anyway, half those Starbucks coffees are just candy drinks.. yuck!
     
  11. CptBork Robbing the Shalebridge Cradle Valued Senior Member

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    Yeah, I was thinking about discussing some of these things, but I didn't want to stray too far from my points about health and weight. What you say makes sense to me, but I think also our society makes an arbitrary association between good looks and leadership qualities.

    Nice strategy, I'm glad it worked out for you even if it was initially unintentional. I've noticed that too- a guy could have a fairly "ordinary" job in terms of pay and benefits, but if it involves assuming responsibility and leadership over a group even for just half a day, and the guy is confident and charming, yeah the women love to flirt with 'em. But I have to say those guys usually do look the part to some extent- tall, strapping, etc.

    I wouldn't say that's my only goal. Number 1 person I'm doing this for is myself. And again, unfortunately weight does seem to have an impact on the way people perceive and treat each other, it gets more subtle as you get older but you can still see it happening if you watch closely.

    Yeah, it's a tough blow to take, but society does expect its members to aspire to certain standards. I don't find it entirely unreasonable- if I'm totally not attracted to the woman because she's obese, I'll still hang out with her and give her the time of day, I just won't go to bed with her. I do think I'm more forgiving than most people when it comes to my "standards", but yeah even I have standards. I feel a bit guilty sometimes about desiring that there be some physical attraction in a relationship, but that's balanced by my feelings of being held to even higher standards than my own.

    Sometimes people tell me "don't worry, all those beautiful young women who don't give you the time of day now, when they get older and they're tired of fooling around, they'll be looking for people like you to settle down with." But does that "settling down" point not usually come when the women are old enough that they're no longer considered beautiful like they once were? I can say this much- I have no sympathy for any woman who made physical attraction their focus in younger years when they were popular, then over time fell from grace, or ended up in a string of bad relationships. I know a lot of women like that who are getting close to or in their 30's and just aren't what they used to be, and when they complain and cry to me, I get this really twisted gratification inside like they got nothing they didn't deserve.

    Don't get me wrong though, I don't carry any sort of grudge against women in general- they are what they are, as long as it doesn't harm me or stop me from doing my own thing, there's nothing to hold against them. I have on a few very rare occasions flirted and made out with women that I actually considered smoking hot, so sometimes good things happen. Maybe my biggest problem is that negative experiences in the past have tainted my vision, I get easily intimidated and tend to assume the worst about a gorgeous woman when trying to figure out if I should approach her.
     
  12. CptBork Robbing the Shalebridge Cradle Valued Senior Member

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    For instance, I should point out the "creepy guy" effect, that's a big one. Very often I hear complaints both from strangers and from friends about how they were sitting down somewhere, and someone approached them for some reason and ended up creeping them out. Often times the guys are indeed creepy and have perverted intentions on their minds, but if they're really good looking it's suddenly seen as "flirting" and is very welcomed even if totally unsolicited. Next time a female friend tells me a story about something a "creepy guy" said to them at some coffee shop, the first thing I should ask is whether the guy was good looking.
     
  13. Michael 歌舞伎 Valued Senior Member

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    haha... that's true isn't it

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    As the weight, after Xmas I weighed about 85kg (Christmas cheer) now I weigh 80Kg which is fine by me. All it really takes is persistence. Keep going to the gym and make a habit out of the foods to cook.
     
  14. visceral_instinct Monkey see, monkey denigrate Valued Senior Member

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    Guilty as charged

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    An old guy tells me I'm pretty and I want to kick him in the head. A good looking athletic 20 year old man tells me I'm pretty, and I feel 10kg lighter and walk with a sluttish swagger the rest of the day.

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  15. Norsefire Salam Shalom Salom Registered Senior Member

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    Weight lift: more muscle = faster/higher metabolism

    800 calories is too low for anyone. At least, you should get 1200-1300 calories per day (on a 2000 calorie requirement); and of course, do cardio.
     
  16. CptBork Robbing the Shalebridge Cradle Valued Senior Member

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    Update: I hardly even recognize myself now, I almost miss having more flab on me because at least I knew what to expect

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    The messed up thing is how when you lose weight, your body will usually take more off some places than others... My ribs are sticking out so far I could practically pluck them out with my fingers, but I've still got a wee bit of a tummy left to lose.
     
  17. CptBork Robbing the Shalebridge Cradle Valued Senior Member

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    Having read through this thread a bit more, I want to emphasize very clearly:

    Even if you get ZERO fat in your diet, if your caloric intake exceeds your metabolic rate, you WILL gain weight.

    It doesn't matter if you eat foods with zero fat or sugar, your body will take excess calories and use them to make fat, unless you're weight training and your body is making muscle. Eating 40 apples a day will make you fat, and if anyone says otherwise, they're using junk science.
     

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