Women used to keep their maiden names as middle names, without the hyphen. Some were named at birth with their mother's maiden name as a middle name. There's a Merriwether Post Pavilion around here where concerts are held, named after Marjorie Merriwether Post. Her father was C.W. Post, the millionaire who founded Post Cereals, and she inherited the company at 27 when he died in 1914. She didn't really want to give up that identity, so as she married and divorced a string of husbands she kept concatenating their names, dying in 1975 as Marjorie Merriwether Post Close Hutton Davies May. Yes, that E.F. Hutton, she was worth $250 million and her ten-acre estate in the toniest part of Washington DC is now a museum surrounded by a park. But when you use a hyphen to concatenate two names, it becomes one and it will be alphabetized according to the first one. Therefore it's customary to put the married name first. If Suzie Smith marries Bobby Jones, she will generally prefer to be known as Suzie Smith Jones or Suzie Jones-Smith, so she can be found under her husband's name in the public records and the social register. For your husband's former wife to call herself Suzie Smith-Jones, putting her maiden name first so it alphabetizes that way, is an insult to your husband's name and to your husband. Especially since she never used that name when she was married to him. I think you should both be aware of that. It's like saying, "Look at the trophy I picked up and then threw away when I got tired of it." If she's already had it changed legally it's probably too late to complain. If not, see a lawyer and perhaps you can get an injunction. But it will be difficult since in America people generally have the right to call themselves anything they want so long as it's not for a fraudulent purpose. In Spanish-speaking countries, they don't use the hyphen. It's customary to put your father's name first and everybody just knows that. Nobel prizewinning Colombian author Gabriel García Márquez, the dean of the "magic realism" movement, is often called "Mr. Márquez" in the American press, when he is actually Mr. García.