Religion has give us those things, im just not comfortable stating it. Answer my question now. I want your faith, sir.
There is nothing cliche about learning confidence in oneself. Just because you may have no idea how to go about developing this in yourself is by no means the end of the line. The suggestion to read a self-help book was not sarcasm. And your response is a testament to how willing you are to work toward an actual solution to your dilemma.
Right. Has it perhaps occured to you that it is precisely after having perused many resources on self-help and how to build self-confidence etc. that I have become disillusioned with them, finding them shallow and lacking?
What's your point? Psychological reactance or defense mechanisms seem not to make much sense, but that doesn't mean they don't exist. In fact, they are common. In ordinary secular affairs, if someone spreads something that is a lie, slander, harsh speech, hate speech, such a person can be sued and prosecuted for that. Strangely, anything can be said in the name of God, and there is no legal recourse for that. Always the patronizer, eh? You know, if you wouldn't be so intent on playing some kind of big brother, we might actually get somewhere. Once someone begins to patronize me, then, yes, I tend to resort to short answers, because a patronizing person doesn't want a conversation, but unquestioning submission, so there isn't much to talk about with them. Are you able to help someone without patronizing them?
A theist is a person who believes in God, period. There is nothing in that description that says we have to nurse maid you. Please stop wastiing time with this loaded definition of theism, it does nothing to advance any discussions. Work with the definition, and if you feel we as individuals owe you something then pm those involved. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF! jan.
Finding them shallow sounds like you just manufactured an excuse to avoid trying to work through your issues. Self-confidence is a personal issue that you should at least take enough responsibility for to refrain from laying on everyone else's doorstep. Self-help books, religion, or anything else. It is solely your responsibility, no one else's. I would hazard that you have become more disillusioned with what effort you are willing to put into the endeavor than anything external. The things people blame tend to be only symptoms, not the problems.
You do this in every conversation regardless of who it's with, so let's not pretend my crime was anything other than challenging your preconceptions. This is what you do when you can't get someone to agree with you after a couple of rounds. As soon as your bogus story got sniffed out and you realized I wasn't biting on this idiocy that a theist somehow required another person for their faith to be valid, your behavior devolved into the same crap that got you banned. It's a tantrum you throw whenever you don't get your way. You think we haven't seen it enough to know the score? :shrug:
One thing I have always appreciated about Buddhism is that in none of the stories I am familiar with, neither the Buddha nor the other arahants and advanced practitioners resorted to blaming the other person. There were people who challenged the Buddha and his followers, grossly sometimes. Yet the Buddha and his followers never resorted to blaming the person, to criticizing them or ridiculing them. Instead, they always had the perfect reply, with no ill will, no patronizing, no blaming. And not rarely, the story ends with the other person being "gratified, delighted with the Blessed One's reply." In contrast, ordinary (?) people clearly want control over others, want to be considered superior and knowledgeable - and yet they refuse to take responsibility for those they wish to control and subject to themselves. Rather than saying "I don't know, I can't help you", such people resort to blaming the person, resort to simplistic formulas, placing the whole responsibility on the other person. This has always fascinated me.
wynn There can only be as much meaning, purpose, happiness or worth in your life as you, yourself create. No one has any real clue about what could be called The Truth(TM), religions are fairy tales for children, scientists see no evidence for meaning or purpose anywhere in the Universe EXCEPT what we, ourselves create. Stop looking for meaning or purpose and create some meaning and purpose in your own life, take wisdom when you find it, reject non-sense. You are on your own. GrumpyPlease Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Speaking of children: I think that over the course of history, as societies have grown up, we've discovered that all the meaning and purpose we need is fulfilled in the sense of well being we derive directly from the world. It may come from tending to those who need us, or sharing life's simple pleasures with them. Even for the most pious believers they would necessarily engage the world this way and create their own purposes. They may call them divine purposes, but most likely that's just a rationalization of their true motives. This may be the main reason why there tends to be a tension in religions with materialism. If they were simply to acknowledge what you just said, I think we would see more religions which are privately practiced and non-interventionist. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! (Wouldn't that be nice.)
Which is what you're doing right this very moment. You portray yourself unflatteringly, then blame others for saying so, rather than admitting the truth and trying to fix the problem. You play at Buddhism because you think it makes you look smart, but all it does is accentuate your inability to take responsibility for your actions.
So pulling the ripcord without any indication of heeding my encouragement to learn how to believe in yourself?
Self-help 'Rubaiyat' of mine, Part 1: http://www.toequest.com/forum/anecdotal-stories/6159-rubayiat-austin-part-1-classic-edition.html
Surely you are aware that learning to "believe in oneself" (whatever that means) entails not discussing oneself with people who behave bossily and patronizingly toward oneself?
As do my 'Stepford ways' according to your PM to me of this evening, Wynn? Very well. 'I don't know, I can't help you.' Please do not PM me with communications of such nature, Wynn. Keep everything in the open forum. Replies may be sparse as this is the busy season.
Surely you are aware that if a person seeks advise and patently shuns all graciously given that people will assume that claimed seeking to have been disingenuous. Like many people who do not take a fuller responsibility for their lot, your inadvertent actions directly bring about the circumstances that you favor blaming for your dilemma.
I think that in discussions, people often opt too soon for an ad personam, instead of further exploring the topic at hand. :shrug:
