Homeless problems

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by birch, May 13, 2017.

  1. birch Valued Senior Member

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    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...say-having-step-parent-wreck-childs-life.html

    This is not just in britain. Most homeless people have come from dysfunctional homes. Both biological parents can abuse children but stepparents are even more dangerous usually because they absolutely do not care at all about the child but opportunistic and a vessel for all frustrations, ill will and jealousy with the one biological parent turning a blind eye or in some cases joining in as well. After all, for someone to stay with such a person and expose their children or any children to such, even if not your own, is not a good person to begin with. So both are culpable.

    Because this is all done in the developmental stage, these people almost never will be right or function well in society unless by some luck they run away early and get with good people or have caring grandparents or other relatives take them in but those are exceptions.

    Abusers undermine in every possible way, not just physically by withholding needed care but often barely the miminum so as not give off alarming signals to law enforcement. Usually only visible symptom would be withdrawn or depression with children. For instance, i was only given peanut butter sandwiches everyday at lunch or often forced to go without food if my stepparent was angry even though they had money because i was expendable. People do not pay attention to such seemingly trivial things but i was weakened by poor nutrition besides the emotional and mental torture and mindgames. Any happiness he even remotely and subtly detected, he had to sabotage, sqelch it and undermine it. Anything he could do to block, frustrate or sabotage or damage without actually physically killing. Same thing with the mother though she was just a ego-driven negligent woman who was a good match/duo. Same corrupt values. Two peas in a pod.

    This all had a primal purpose and that was that i was competition so the agenda was to make sure that things would be done to me so that i would be so setback by both damage and obstacles that i would have to work very hard to even get back to normal sanity or personal power. When you have no one in your corner growing up, most likely you will end up homeless because you were disempowered growing up. It's very complicated but this type of abuse has deep longlasting effects depending on the degree of power, manipulativeness and maliciousness of the caretakers.

    The most dangerous ones are the ones who know how to inflict mental and emotional scars that the person will have to carry with them. and it's intentionally done. They inflict so much pain and take away so much power that the victim can't function normally but will have to spend most of their time trying to find a way to release inner demons (that were not your own) as well as patch themselves up, while normal life is slipping away watching other people go through normal life milestones. it's like you are alienated and isolated from regular life or your own life story sucked away like through a black hole but actually it was the abuser who was feeding off your lifeforce. that was the point, to steal or damage a person's life.

    They will undermine education, self-esteem, physical strength, mental reasoning, withhold nurturing and use terror tactics so that you will always be under stress, fear and under constant threat. this can all be done easily as long as there are no physical bruises on the victim regularly and the fact other people do not really care about other's problems anyways.

    The world/nature is a place that favors evil and evil does mostly win and i can't deny that at all. As the years passed, i had to realize and admit this truth to myself because they always had the upperhand and always were accepted/favored by society pretty well, even more than me or gone undetected. Even though these were hellish lessons about life, what it did was open my eyes to the truth and that appearances really can be deceptive and that's not just physical. I'm not impressed by social status, money etc because i know that nature can be so corrupt, i don't really know how that was acquired through actual merit without cheating or by undermining or stealing or purging their garbage on someone else so they could be rid of their karmic debts, stolen another's innocence so they can move on up at another's expense. i think all types of evil underhanded machinations occur like this and the truth of people and how society works is often more sinister and dirty than people admit. well, of course, it's ego.

    You know in that movie 'the mummy' where that one guy had the life sucked out of him to empower the other man, that is more than a metaphor for what some people do. there are sociopaths/psycopaths who have zero conscience and will steal everything, even your very soul if they can. there are people who do such things to pump themselves up by stealing and exploiting whoever they can get away with doing. the invisible world is as real as the visible one and that is something people who have not been targets of such underhanded manipulations do not know because there are people who do know how to do these types of things. the universe is a much stranger/terrifiying place than conventional wisdom let's on.

    So if you see a homeless person, be careful of who they are as some are dangerous but at the same time, don't be so judgemental. it's like the walking dead. You don't know what they have been through and if you did, you may have ended up in the same position. That is life.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2017
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  3. birch Valued Senior Member

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    My abusers were religious conservatives and lived within such circles but away from visibility, they secretly had no such values but peculiarly the opposite of ethics.

    Where should the proverbial devil best hide?? That's right, exactly where and what would misrepresent. And yet, i am not religious, turned away from religion and started evaluating people based on who they really were, not their facade or claims. Yet, to the religious who have traditionally been given a stereotype and status of morality and good citizenry is something i am not entitled to. I am looked down upon or assumed to be unethical or less moral than religious, churchgoing folk etc. That our 'liberal' lifestyle (whatever that means) and views are the cause of the downfall and immorality of society. That we are the dirty and lesser people. While those religious were the true evil and filth: liars, deceivers, rapists, pedophiles, ruthless, dishonest, jealous, insensitive, covetous, greedy etc.

    You see where i'm going with this? This is why you can't judge people based on any affiliation or status. People just as nature can be manipulative and dishonest so they take actions to fool or blindside others. The deception in nature and society runs deep and it's constantly twisting like a damn soap opera. Most people are full of shit, basically.

    Look underneath the lies and facade of society if you want to know the truth of anything. the layer of shit is beyond knee deep. sometimes, what you see is the truth but usually not.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2017
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  5. timojin Valued Senior Member

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    That our 'liberal' lifestyle (whatever that means) and views are the cause of the downfall and immorality of society. That we are the dirty and lesser people. While those religious were the true evil and filth: liars, deceivers, rapists, pedophiles, ruthless, dishonest, jealous, insensitive, covetous, greedy etc.


    .[/QUOTE]
    I think you are bitter and blames generalising you misery on every religious person , there are many good minded religious people . The true religious will have fear of God and will attempt to follow His commandments and if they have the holy spirit , they will act with compassion , so don't judge everyone based on your misfortune of the past.
     
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  7. birch Valued Senior Member

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    I think you are bitter and blames generalising you misery on every religious person , there are many good minded religious people . The true religious will have fear of God and will attempt to follow His commandments and if they have the holy spirit , they will act with compassion , so don't judge everyone based on your misfortune of the past.[/QUOTE]

    no, i don't. i am more aware than that. the point was that you can't trust people's claims, facades and appearances. someone's claim to a religion indicates little to nothing about their real character. these same people can claim to be filled with the holy spirit and there is nothing holy about them.

    think about it. why do you have to use or scapegoat another to be good or make ethical decisions? why do you need the 'holy ghost'? then it's not you, is it? then it's not genuine, is it? sounds like a show/facade.

    you know, people can just make those decisions and, i don't know, choose to do the right thing, choose to have compassion etc? a novel idea, i know.
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2017
  8. timojin Valued Senior Member

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    3,252
    no, i don't. i am more aware than that. the point was that you can't trust people's claims, facades and appearances. someone's claim to a religion indicates little to nothing about their real character. these same people can claim to be filled with the holy spirit and there is nothing holy about them.[/QUOTE]


    They can claim . I believe the holy spirit will not stay long in a person that is not walking in holiness .
     
  9. Jan Ardena Valued Senior Member

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    I can't really add to that, other than I believe you are correct. As a result, religious institutes have become spiritually bankrupt.

    Jan.
     
  10. birch Valued Senior Member

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    4,132
    this is a quote by a christian. it's pretty obvious that it's a religion based on a sense of entitlement/club/membership. that stench of obnoxiousness/haughtiness is barely veiled. there is no merit or earning so no real consequence of actions or any real motive to do so.

    from my experience, the most disgusting thing about these fundamental religions is that real ethics is an option, but as long as you outwardly play the part, that's the game. these religions attract people who have a haughty sense of self-importance and will justify that they are the same or better than anyone else based on this 'jesus christ' scapegoat or salvation. why it's disgusting and obnoxious? to equate yourself just as worthy or another just as guilty when you may be abusing the system and another isn't is obscenely unethical! if you don't have to earn salvation, then that is a bullshit religion.

    but technically, this type of bullshit does work. people can use others as scapegoats. anything unethical is fine in this universe. so it was okay for him (and her) to burden and smear me with their diseased, filthy and sin-ridden karma/load. i am the one who broke the cycle or at least ended the cycle of abuse at least. how would you like it if you had to pay off somebody else's fucking debts? this wasn't even my real father, his issue wasn't even my issues but he forced it and made sure it became my burden, not his children. the sins of the father pass onto the children but not when you can manipulate and use a scapegoat. you see how twisted, deceptive, perverse and unfair the universe is? he stole my light and because it was an exchange (exactly like switching places), i became a vessel to dump his issues as well as the negativity from his own guilt which he also additionally pawned off on me. and she was the same way, double-teamed. to be ignored and just neglected would have been a more saving grace but they were like satan taking pleasure in the torture knowing they were going to get away with it and they did.

    i grew up with no one and i mean absolutely no one i could trust. i was completely and totally alone. i was trapped in a hell on earth and there was nothing to do but ride it out. but even after that, the realization you were born into a world alone or worse, to people who are an enemy or a nightmare is quite fuking insulting.

    this universe is manipulative, unfair, obscene, perverted and horrendously immoral. most homeless people have come from broken homes or some type of dysfunctional past where abuse was involved and usually have no one or no one reliable or trustworthy in their background. i've rarely met chronic homeless people who came from a good background. maybe a few or they just lost their job, a stupid kid who decided drugs might be fun etc but that is the exception.
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2017
  11. birch Valued Senior Member

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    4,132
    and evil people make up excuses for their behavior and if you have ever been close to one, you find out that the reason is simply because they want to keep doing what they do because they do not care how it affects you or how you feel. they will use any false excuse and even much of society will believe their bullshit. the root and heart of the true reason is just selfishness.

    i was beaten, but i do not beat other people. i was sexually abused but i don't want to do that to others. people were unfair to me but i do not want to be unfair to others.

    the idea that abuse means you have an excuse to do that to others is a self-serving lie. it may break you down, weaken you and wreck your life but it doesn't force your hand to do the same or mean you have to do the same. it is a choice.

    the other thing society ignores is some of the worst abusers are the ones who were brought up spoiled and entitled, not abused. he grew up in a upper-middle class roman catholic white supremacist republican family. he was constantly lying. just a pathological liar. i onced asked him why i had to do all the work in the house like a slave and he told me because he had to when he grew up but that was not true. he didn't have to do shit except the minimum. you knew he was lying because he would do this obscene sinister laugh. get the picture? con-artists are the ones who started the meme that those who were abused become abusers (their choice) and idiot society bought it hook, line and sinker. this is so they can excuse whatever they want to do and will use even the most ridiculous blindspots of society to do it. they are the ones who are laughing on the inside.

    realistically, there are also scummy charactered homeless people but there are also those who have gone through horrendous things and are also sweet natured and ethical. again, it's a choice. i have met both kinds.
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2017
  12. birch Valued Senior Member

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    people are not good, not imo. i think it's the opposite and good people are a minority. it may be safe to deal publicly with most but that is different. i just recall how sinister not only they were, but the reputable people they knew too and even today those people are doing well and well integrated into society. it showed me how i didn't belong.

    if i had not seen how society works and underneath that veil, i might be like everyone else or 'normal' but i can't un-know what i know and i don't think i should either. it's disturbing what people reveal about what they are when they don't think you are important or they know they can do something to you or against you with impunity. it wasn't just them is why they had the power but also those who turned a blind eye and those who even supported them as friends. i remember their cruelty and tribalism. the insults, anger, haughtiness and i was rocking the boat or dare bring up the truth. i remember even simple jealousy and hostility from so-called christians and all manner of human character faults and vices and they had ne'er a concern about holding it back or in check behind closed doors and in the 'right' company that would allow such. i woke up and realized religion plus people is a farce. it means nothing. someone buying a gucci dress and wearing it does not make them high-class, good or quality and that is what many use religion as.

    no, i don't think most people are good and only a small teensy weensy percentage are bad. that's very unrealistic. staying out of jail or prison does not mean you are a good person either. there are many ways people do wrong, abuse and hurt others.
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2017
  13. Confused2 Registered Senior Member

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    443
    Hi Birch.
    Thank you for writing that down. Maybe someone will read it. If I count as 'someone' then consider it read. I've looked and thought for so long that it's too late for me to address any of the points you make.

    Years ago my wife and I took in a 14 year old homeless boy - there's a story attached which is of no consequence here. As a spontaneous great, huge, enormous favour an old friend invited us to join him and his family for an evening. We went to watch a fireworks display over the river Dart with my friend and his four children aged between about 14 and 21. It doesn't really matter whether they were acting from instructions from dad or they all were just extraordinarily nice people but for one evening at least our boy was uncritically accepted as 'family'. Sometimes eyes start to leak for the strangest of reasons.
     
  14. birch Valued Senior Member

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    4,132
    i just know that plenty of scum thrive in society and fit in well. so, from what i know, i don't want to be a part of it. that's what 'normal' is and either society does know and pretending right along like impostors themselves or they are fooled. nature at work.

    i'm not saying that people shouldn't enjoy their lives and be happy but must respect that people stand in different shoes. just because life seems happy for many, well the truth is, even evil people can be happy and do the same and spread the love and facebook etc if they have gotten what they want and where they want to be etc.

    people tend to think these people exist as in outlandish news stories where it's like a victim has been kept prisoner in a basement and when found out, the perpetrator is alienated by society or may never even have had any social status anyways.

    but that is not the only way or the only type. there are plenty of people who have have good social status, connected and well-loved/liked who are not good people and have done cruel or horrible things to others on the way. but nature knows how to pick their victims, it will not be anyone that would be well connected. but this isn't all of it, society doesn't care either. it doesn't want to know because it doesn't want to have to give any superficial lip service, 'oh, that's bad'. people want to be happy and live a lie, if it makes them happy and as well as together in that lie. they don't care about the truth. the truth is most people do NOT have a real sense of ethics/conscience, it's very iffy and mostly has to do with self-preservation and man-made laws.

    think about it. if you know these things and were in those victim's shoes, why the hell would you want to be part of society except for the miminum to survive?
     
    Last edited: May 18, 2017
  15. Confused2 Registered Senior Member

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    A good point well made.
     
  16. birch Valued Senior Member

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    4,132
    do you know what it is like to be stalked for life by a psychopath? to have to be careful of where you live and who knows etc?

    the thing about these sociopaths is that they truly believe they have a relationship with you, even if you are not interested and never were. they believe you owe them something, even if you don't. this is all because of how they feel, nevermind how you feel and they will try to be revengeful if they can. can you believe that?

    they think they have a right to be offended as if they are a victim and try to hurt you, just because they aren't getting what they want from you. why? because they are delusional invaders, thieves, and have no respect for your boundaries or rights and once they have crossed that line, they think that's a relationship and you owe them something just because they know something about you or feel something or believe you are the cause of their feelings or was able to take something from you before. they ignore that it was not MUTUAL EVER, BESIDES THE FACT I NEVER TOOK ANYTHING FROM THEM IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM FOR THEM TO HAVE AN INKLING OF JUSTIFICATION EITHER WAY. they are like parasites and predators.

    here is a more recent example besides rapists/pedophiles as they are the worst stalkers because they literally believe they own you or you belong to them and have a stupid sick fantasy of togetherness, again, even though it's not mutual.

    because i have been homeless before and have been through hard times, i try to help people when i can. so i help out this man with his resume and getting his job and ignore some of his occasional rude, ignorant, patronizing and sexist comments to me. after he got his job, he was ecstatic and grateful because he said he wouldn't have been able to get that job without some assistance since he would not have been able to present himself the way he should. then he proceeds to tell me how he is having sexual thoughts of the sister of the man he is taking care of. this is a hospice caretaker position.
    i asked him to not tell me these things. later, he has his friend phone me telling me how thankful he was and how much he is interested in me and has feelings for me etc. i told him i am not interested in that way and if he is grateful, then he should pass it on and help someone else in the future if he can. this did not go over well. he kept calling to the point, he literally was speaking to me as if we were involved in a relationship. i can't quite describe how weird it was for someone to try and make you feel guilty as if you owe them something. i finally had to tell him in very harsh manner to leave me alone and he became very spiteful and angry.

    The moral of the story is 1) no good deed goes unpunished and 2) be careful of who you help because not all deserve it and there are people who take your kindness as weakness.

    one of the lessons i learned from this is to not be a bleeding heart and to be realistic about human nature and that karma is bullshit and only works with people who have similar values or else you can get evil/harm/disrespect in return for good. and that as a single female, it is not only dangerous to help men but just to even associate with them as men easily get delusional ideas and believe what they want to believe.

    i've stopped helping homeless or just people who ask me personally. there are organizations for that. now, not all of them are dangerous or bad people but i can't keep taking chances like that as it's too risky. the sad part is there are good ones who are deserving but you can't know or tell and to even start talking with them, is dangerous in itself as the bad ones will see you as a mark.
     
  17. Confused2 Registered Senior Member

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    443
    Hi birch,

    Pretty much the rules for life in the army.
    From another forum and another time:-

    Rule #1: Never underestimate your opponent.
    Rule #2: Keep your powder dry at all times.
    Rule #3: Trust no one.
     
  18. Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

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    One of the USA's larger cities tried an interesting new approach to homelessness. Rather than cramming them into crowded, poorly furnished cubicles--or even worse, filling a giant room with cots and making them all sleep a few feet from each other; they bought residential units that were a bit run-down but otherwise quite serviceable.

    Then they introduced a homeless person to one of them--they even had a door key! They had a shower, a toilet, a kitchen with a stove, a microwave, a fridge, a freezer, a bed, a TV and some simple but serviceable furniture.

    They came back to check on the folks once a week. The first week, they found them sleeping on the floor, wrapped in blankets, living very much like they were living on the street--with the truly major and important difference of having both running water and a place to go pee.

    The next week, they found them sleeping in the bed instead of on the floor--even using the sheets and towels that had been provided. In addition, they had spent some of their money at the grocery store, and had mastered the kitchen appliances.

    A week later, they found them using the washer/drier, so they began to look like regular folks instead of homeless folks.

    A couple of weeks later, they were out looking for JOBS! Several of the businesses in the area had signed up to participate in this program, and they gave the people jobs. Meager ones, but just being a janitor beats sleeping on the sidewalk.

    By the end of the year, many of them had moved into nicer homes, and had gotten better jobs than they started with.

    A few months later, all of the apartments had been vacated, as the folks had decent jobs and could afford larger quarters.

    The cost of this experiment to the city was incredibly small--something like 5% of the budget for actually taking care of homeless people on the street. And, of course, the apartments were available to a new group of homeless. (And most of the people who had been living there left them spotless, so the city didn't even have to clean them!)

    There will always be homeless people, but in this city, there was a turnover, so no one stayed homeless for very long.
     
    Jan Ardena and Confused2 like this.
  19. Confused2 Registered Senior Member

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    Hi birch,

    Tit for tat - I'll share a story.

    It maybe helps to know that my father died after a long illness when I was 14. The prevailing view in the 60's was to keep the children in the dark and pretend nothing had happened. For hundreds of years, thousands of years, possibly even hundreds of thousands of years the death of anyone would be marked by some sort of ceremony - a celebration or acknowledgement of their life and passing from it. By tradition there would be some words said but of course I don't know what those words were because I wasn't invited. The local vicar came a-calling and was turned away at the door - not needed here. I needed him. I've known three vicars since and one thing they are really really good at is keeping their head when all around are losing theirs.

    From that time on I was at best a dutiful son and at worst a complete bastard.

    Moving on twenty years,

    I lived in a part of of a small city where most people were known by most of the other people. Further down the road lived a woman with a somewhat wayward child and a friend I'd known for ten years as a kind and generous sort of bloke. They got married - I was best man. The wayward boy turned up drunk at the wedding and was (I guess) asked to leave. At some point the wayward boy had moved out and was living in a tent about a mile from the city. He had a home to go back to, it was summer, fine protest and he'd be back at school for the next academic year. And then my friend and his new wife moved to France leaving the boy still living in a tent about a mile from the city centre.

    Karmically (?) I was placed at the very centre of dealing (or not dealing) with a situation similar (actually much worse) than the one I was in 20 years earlier. It helped to have the most wonderful wife possible who understood that I came with debts to repay and stuff like that. We filled out lots of paperwork and got him into college and a year later he got three GCSE's.

    He was fine with both of us - as a teenager probably close to the saint end of the spectrum - though we never really got past the "wtf is he going to try next" stage.

    He left us to live with his mother and stepfather in France and for several years we lost track of him. I do know that he never went to prison and was never homeless again.

    We've had seagulls nesting on our roof. We seem to care (a lot) more about them than some people seem to care about their own children.
     
  20. Jan Ardena Valued Senior Member

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    It's a pity they didn't introduce this plan to other cities. I bet some of the ex-homeless people would be interested in helping, seeing as they are in the best position to understand the plight.

    Jan.
     
  21. birch Valued Senior Member

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    4,132
    I've had someone imply i should be used if i was nicer. i asked them why i should have to be the one to sacrifice and he said 'but you are more compassionate.' that was a turning point for me as it made me angry, horrified all at once.

    this was not a homeless person but it was your common type of person though. they saw me as a mark and if you are someone willing to do something others may not, they look at it as you are obligated/owing others since they see/know what you got, even if it's something like compassion. of course, it's not okay if it's them.

    they view as something to be gained from you or for others, especially if they perceive you as having or doing something above and beyond what average people do. it's opportunistic. it's a peculiar, primal view of the world/nature. again, forget conventional masks and shoulds and should nots. this is when the masks come off when people start to feel comfortable enough or even forget.

    people will exploit anyone they can. i am disgusted by people. most people are not very good and most don't deserve anyone's personal help. it should fall on the government and people/society as a whole, not any individual as that is unfair.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2017
  22. Confused2 Registered Senior Member

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    443
    The fact that you even think about such things is what makes you vulnerable. I'm guessing you are, overdue, in need of some sort of luck. I think it was Mark Twain - "The harder I works the luckier I gets.". What the rest of the human race does is up to them - what you do and how you do it is up to you. As a fellow forum member all I can do is hope it works out rather well - absolutely splendidly well would be even better. Progress reports are not required but would be appreciated.
     
  23. birch Valued Senior Member

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    i am not looking for luck. the point was if you give people an inch, they will take a mile. so in that sense, people should make their own luck, otherwise they will just burden you.

    progress report? excuse me? i am shedding light on some of the deep rooted causes of homelessness and that there is plenty of blame to go around which is society itself, not just the direct perpetrators in question but the fact that abuse is rampant and that abuse gets passed on as well as people in society who indirectly support such people. it can be as simple as someone having a hard time at work/frustration because of bad bosses/coworkers and then come home and take it out on their family etc. there are too many examples to list.

    so, in effect, it's the government and organizations that would be most effective rather than individuals because for one 1) even if they need or should get help, doesn't mean they are not dangerous people 2) it's a societal problem and shouldn't be just left to some individuals who happen to be compassionate.

    the other thing i realize about society is that most assume society is relatively good and forget how much laws/enforcement of tthose laws as well as their situation colors their perspective. of those who assume most people are good are the ones surrounded by a supportive network of common friends they associate with (not strangers) as well as family and usual coworkers, meaning it's more or less a fixed framework.

    they also do not realize that people read others based on this as well, even unconsciously and will try some things with others and not with others. Someone who is single, female (especially) and without family support/structure is going to see and experience a lot more of the truth of society than those who do because people are more opportunistic than they assume. One common example is how women can experience more sexual harassment than males so another person may assume is a good guy just because another will have a different experience because they are not going to reveal that about themselves.

    But that's not all, it gets more sinister than that. People evaluate others on their perception of 'power' a person has in society and that will determine not just what they try to do to you but also reveal about themselves to you that they may not to another, especially if they think you have been oppressed, then they may feel they can oppress you too. Society is complicated. So just because someone is treating you with respect and it seems all apparently normal and aboveboard doesn't mean you know who they are and what they may do or try to do to others.

    The only good thing about this is you get to see how people really are and how they play the game in society as well as who they fool which is really people they consider inaccessible for exploitation. No, they may not be serial murderer level but that doesn't mean they are ethical or good people either unless having a job and appearing normal in society/fitting in is all that is required to be a 'good' person. an extreme example would be there are people who do horrendous things on the deep web who have regular 'normal' occupations during the day and no one would ever know.
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2017

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