HETEROSEXUALITY IN THE MALE Heterosexuality is a curious distortion of the sexual drive that has its roots in insecurity and immaturity. The sexual drive is diverted from its normal object, a person of one's own sex with whom one seeks a permanent love relationship, a lasting bond between two adult and distinct personalities. Instead, the heterosexual male seeks, in a number of complexly interrelated wishes, to return to the womb, be born again, and live a different life, for he finds his own life unsatisfactory; he seeks to merge himself with another (better) person to create a child at once himself and better than himself; yet, oddly, he often regards the person into whom he wishes to merge, as his inferior. He is obsessed with the idea of immortality and of being sheltered, either by returning to the womb and remaining a perpetual fetus, or by reproducing himself and sheltering (as a parent) his new self (his child). He is confused about his sexual identity in two ways. First, by seeking liaison with a woman, he's trying to reproduce the normal sexual relationship between lesbians; and second, he is at least as capable of identifying with his female child as with a male child — and some men even prefer a female child, feeling an even greater need to protect her (and thus himself). Clearly, heterosexuality is by no means a simple problem. It involves complex interrelationships and stupefying inconsistencies, arising from a weak ego which strongly seeks to perpetuate itself! Let us examine how heterosexuality works. The essential thrust of heterosexuality in the male is return to the womb. Since the vagina is the only pathway to the uterus, the vagina becomes the center of sexual attention. Sexual concern with other anatomical structures (such as breasts for the rectum) is quite beside the point, and a substantial segment of the heterosexual subculture looks askance at nonvaginal sex. The heterosexual male thrusts fingers, tongue, and penis into the vagina in a desperate, irrational attempt to find again the security of the womb, to return physically to the womb. Since that attempt can never succeed, heterosexuality is inevitably unsatisfying. But to the extent that the male can re-enter the vagina, through which he traveled when he was expelled by his mother at his birth, heterosexual sex approaches satisfaction. This explains why coitus is the preferred form of heterosexual sex: the tongue cannot penetrate very far into the vagina (and besides, the vagina is a very unsatisfactory object of oralism, for the essence of oralism is taking things into the mouth, not straining the tongue to reach out). Nor can a finger penetrate far. Of the parts of the male body, and the thrust into the vagina, the penis reaches farthest toward the ultimate object, the womb. This fact, combined with the fact that many heterosexual males find pleasurable the sensation arising from the penis's contact with the walls of the vagina, works to push coitus as the prime form of heterosexual sex. In fact, in some heterosexual groups, this most successful approach to the womb is the only permissible form of sex, every other form being regarded as a perversion, taboo. Frequently a heterosexual male will suck upon the breasts of the female at the same time as he enters her with his penis, revealing doubly the regressive nature of heterosexuality. The sex object is a replacement mother; the sex acts, a return to sheltered infancy on the road back to the totally sheltered and carefree state a fetus enjoys. The world is too threatening for the heterosexual to face. His ego is too weak to find ways out of the predicaments existence stages. So the heterosexual tries to run away to the womb. He never makes it, but he does find a substitute mother to take care of him, which is almost as good. The female becomes a mother to the male. She is required to keep his house in order, clean his clothes, make his meals, and meet his other environmental needs at the same time as she is supposed to comfort him psychologically and provide him with sex. A heterosexual man without a woman is a pitifully weak person, and such strength as a mated to heterosexual male may appear to have is illusory, for his strength is really his woman's.