Greatest Star Trek Captain

The Eternal Debate:

Kirk v. Picard (and Sisco and Janeway...)

I affirm Kirk far surpassed the other captains. For the following reason:

1. He had balls. Not simple courage, but -balls-. He could take the fight to the enemy and knew how to break the rules to get what he needed. From his Star Fleet days to his days as a captain, he knew that it was who had the biggest cajones that won the day more often than not.

2. He had a power of command. No other Star Trek captain engendered the same sort of loyalty in his subordinates. He had a masterful control of his people. He could expect them to perform and they did.

3. He was more human than the other captains. He had thoughts and ideals and didn't live in a sanitized era that basically raped most captains of any vestiges of masculinity. He also knew a good woman when he saw one.

4. He loved what he did - not just starfleet. He loved being a -captain- of a -vessel- in -space-. He didn't just fight for starfleet, or explored because of some vague, scientific mission, but because he loved to do so. He was a pioneer in the true sense of the word.

5. He recognized the utility of violence and used it. He did not hide behind a nonsensical pacifism. He knew that some conflicts needed the sword.

The only captain to come close to Kirk is Sisco. And Sisco was still distant enough to not even be in Kirk's league.

 

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Kiiiiirk.

From the heart of Hell I stab at thee!
For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!

Kiiiiiiirk.
My old friend, Kiiiiiirk.


Favorite bit:
Kobayashi Maru.

Favorite Parody:
Captain's Log:

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Of course, Khan might count as a Star Trek captain? In that case... Khan rules.

 

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Absolutely. The man also made a superior toasted sandwich as well - so moiiiiist, so deliiiicuiiiioos.... Ricardo rocks.

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Ricardo Monteban is indeed the man.

 

Consider: Kirk v/s Picard in a death match. Picard would try to reason with Kirk, always viewing violence as a last resort. Kirk would see this as an opportunity and move in for the death blow.

 

... Or shag him. Y'see, the Kirk has all the options in this scenario. Ricardo Monteban, on the other hand, would pick the pair of them up by the scruff of their necks, both at the same time mind, stick slug-things in their ears and rustle himself a deliiiiiiciiiiioos chicken Cesar sandwich whilst Kirk and Picard went off and did his bidding...

There's just no competition here. Ricardo is. The man.

 

Hey, Khan was pretty cool. But don't forget, Kirk defeated him due to his two dimensional thinking.

 

Khan was only defeated because the Starship he stole wasn't outfitted with rich corinthian leather.

That and the fact he mislaid his sandwich...

(Actually, I think Khan was only defeated due to the magic of the script. In reality, Khan would have eaten Kirk for breakfast and made corinthian leather seat covers out of his skin.

But, hell, regardless of victory or defeat. Khan did it with style.)

 

Meh! He got lucky. Kirk only won by hacking Kahn off enough to want to chase him into that nebula. If Spock hadn't have been prepared to sacrifice himself for the good of the many, the many would have been even more, everywhere, all at the same time... Kirk included.

Luck, no thinking at all. Ricardo ran him ragged the entire film. So what if he was wearing rubber tits and a wig, he was damn manly with it and his wig looked a damn sight more convincing than Kirks - Ha!

 

Its really hard to compare them, a lot of things are debatable. As far as fighting goes Picard wasn't shown originally as a violent guy, but he could nail it to someone when needed. Kirk was more depicted as crude, and straight forward not afraid to fire a torpedo without a second thought. They both used diplomacy, and both did outstanding jobs in fighting enemies. Kirk with the klingons and romulans, picard with the borg and romulans. Kirk was also a lady's man, Picard was more of a gentlemen. If there's any real difference between the two, maybe its that Kirk is impulsive and Picard likes to think things through.....but....

Sisko would beat them both, hands down. A son of the Prophets? He's awesome. When Q showed up and annoyed him? He punched the guy in the face, it was hilarious!(if you remember that episode). Sisko was a man of power and diplomacy. He also knew when the right time was to break the rules. He seems to have blended qualities of both of them. He had to make ties with the romulans and klingons. And true he never delt with the borg, but he had to face the dominion, who was a lot more aggressive than the Borg, and lets not forget the Cardassians. He also designed the defiant, the federation's first war ship.

The history of the shows I think speak for themselves. Kirk was always getting into some kind of trouble, in or out of the uniform. Picard was the goody two shoes rule follower. Sisko...was the guy who did things and got away with it. He just -made- things happen. He's the smart one.

Something maybe not too much to do with just the comparison between the captains, is their resources, which I find interesting. The crew makes the captain a good one. scotty for kirk, laforge for picard, o'brian for sisko. The Prophets for sisko, Q for picard(who isn't normally dependable anyway), Kirk doesn't have an omnipower ally that I can recall at the moment. Spock for kirk, data for picard, dax(who might be wise but lets face it, a trill is no vulcan)for sisko. Worf came to DS9 to be under Sisko's command, too. And he started on the Enterprise.

Anyway, just some thoughts.

Oh and Janeway? Ahh who cares. =D

 

Keep in mind though guys, I haven't seen all of the original episodes. I might have made an error somewhere in there, but I've seen the rest of the other series except for missing a few seasons of voyager. I do own all of the movies and have watched them religiously though.

 

If you guys haven't read this, its incredibly humorous. I can't read it and keep from laughing.

The 100 Reasons Why Kirk is Better Than Picard.


100. Kirk is a leader, not a follower.
99. Kirk never really got into that kinky "Jumpsuit" look.
98. Kirk has sex more than once a season.
97. One Word: Hair.
96. Another Word: Pretty-good-looking-can't-see-the-weave-WIG.
95. Kirk can beat up a Klingon bare-handed.
94. Picard is a French man with an English accent.
93. Kirk would date Beverly Crusher -- and damn the consequences!!
92. Kirk never drinks tea. Ever.
91. Diplomacy for Kirk is a phaser and a smirk.
90. Kirk would personally throw Wesley off his bridge.
89. Two words: Shoulder Roll.
88. Kirk doesn't wear dresses when admirals arrive for lunch.
87. Kirk once said: "I've got a belly-ache -- and it's a beauty."
86. Kirk would never sing to children in a crisis.
85. Kirk can almost drive a stick shift.
84. Kirk, almost single-handedly, re-populated the Earth's whale
population.
83. Kirk says "Prime Directive? What Prime Directive?"
82. Kirk knows 20th Century curses.
81. Kirk was NEVER infiltrated by the Borg and used against the
Federation.
80. Kirk ate little coloured cubes and still remained relatively healthy.
79. Kirk made do with obviously low performance technology.
78. Kirk never pretends to be a barber in order to gain a tactical
advantage.
77. Kirk wasn't shy about taking his shirt off
--even around those pesky Yeomans.
76. Kirk would never waste a holodeck on something stupid like Dixon Hill.
75. Kirk never once stood up and had to straighten his shirt.
74. One Word: Velour.
73. Kirk can beat a Vulcan at Chess.
72. When Kirk was Picard's age, he retired from Admiral and took to
climbing rocks.
71. When Picard was 37, he was only Captain of the lowly freighter,
Stargazer. When Kirk was 37, he was Captain of the flagship
Enterprise.
70. Kirk liked a good belt of liquor every now and again.
69. One Word: Iman.
68. Kirk looks good with a ripped shirt.
67. If Kirk ever met a Ferengi, he would rip off its head and shit down
its neck.
66. Kirk says "Shoot first and wait for retaliation."
65. Kirk's first officer NEVER tells him to stay on the bridge.
64. Kirk never leaves the room to bawl somebody out.
63. Kirk doesn't rely on the wisdom of some dumb old
janitor to get him out of intergalactic scrapes.
62. Two Words: Funky Sideburns.
61. Kirk never asks his bartender for advice.
60. Kirk never once said "Abandon ship! All hands abandon ship!"
59. Kirk is not politically correct.
58. Kirk never got "dumped" by a woman for an intergalactic busy body named
after a letter of the alphabet.
57. Kirk never wore green tights and frolicked about in Sherwood Forest.
56. If there was ever a Klingon on Kirk's bridge, Kirk would likely be
dead.
55. Ever hear of a bar shooter called "Make it so?" No? How about a
"Beam me up Scotty" then? See the difference?
54. One Word: Miniskirts.
53. Kirk's girlfriends always look good in soft light.
52. Kirk never went anywhere without a whole bunch of guys in red
shirts.
51. Kirk's first officer didn't play some wimpy instrument like the
trombone.
50. Kirk had more dates than his first officer.
49. The extent of Kirk's knowledge of Klingon vocabulary can be roughly
translated as "GO F*CK YOURSELF."
48. If something doesn't speak English -- it's toast.
47. Kirk wasn't some prissy archaeology fan.
46. Picard's middle name isn't tough or awe-inspiring like Tiberius is.
45. If Kirk finds a strange spinning probe, he blows it up.
44. Picard never met Joan Collins.
43. Picard flunked his entrance exams to Starfleet.
42 Picard hasn't fathered any children; Kirk -- probably millions.
41. Kirk has a cool phaser -- not some pansy Braun mix-master.
40. Two Words: Line Delivery.
39. Picard grew up on a quaint little French vineyard, squishing grapes
with his toes, while Kirk slung bails of wheat and hay
in Iowa to put himself through school.
38. Kirk emphasizes his orations with pertinent hand gestures.
37. Kirk once made a cannon out of bamboo, sulphur, potassium nitrate,
charcoal and then fired diamonds into the hearts of his
enemies. (Need we say more?)
36. Kirk is not put off by green skin.
35. Kirk knows how to deal with peace loving hippy goofs.
34. Kirk once fought a Greek god. And won.
33. Kirk barely asks for suggestions. And if he does, he asks Spock only.
32. Kirk doesn't let the doctor tell him what to do.
31. One Word: Fisticuffs.
30. Kirk's name is hated throughout the galaxy.
29. Kirk appreciates Shakespeare, but he doesn't let it show.
28. You can never lock up Kirk for very long.
27. Kirk's eulogies can actually make you cry.
26. Kirk plays god with lesser cultures, and then exploits them for
resources.
25. Kirk's son would never drop out to become a musician.
24. Kirk can climb up a Jeffries Tube and fix anything.
23. Kirk never hired an engineer with punk glasses.
22. The Klingons didn't have a word for surrender -- until they met Kirk.
21. Kirk's bridge is not beige.
20.Two Words: Crane Shots.
19. Picard likes wimpy violin music -- and coerces Data into playing it.
18. Picard allows cats on board, while Kirk beams away even really cute
things, like Tribbles.
17. Kirk is a cultural icon -- Picard is just some guy who's really nice.
16. Kirk specifically ordered a swivel LA-Z-BOY for the bridge.
15. Kirk would never touch SYNTHAHOL.
14. Kirk looks distinguished in reading glasses -- and nobody dares to
call him"four eyes."
13. Kirk can infiltrate Gangsters, Nazis, and even the Pentagon -- easily.
12. Picard likes painting nudes, for art's sake.
11. When Kirk doesn't trust the Romulans, he fires at them. When Picard
doesn't trust the Romulans, he gets fired at.
10. Kirk never once, ever,wore a wiener wrapping Speedo banana hammock on
shore leave.
9. Kirk never gets his command codes locked out by some pimply acting
ensign.
8. Kirk doesn't test the engines -- he just fires them up.
7. When Kirk says "Boldly Go," he MEANS it.
6. Three Words: Flying Leg Kick
5. Picard's crew would never ever think of him as a sexual object.
4. Kirk traveled through The Great Barrier, met God, and wasn't even
impressed.
3. Kirk's bedroom is a passion pit with electric sheets.
2. Kirk would never let his Chief of Security wear a ponytail.
1. One Word: Balls.

 

FluX:

That was a HILARIOUS and utterly truthful list of why Kirk is the best captain.

However, I do agree that Sisco was an excellent captain himself. HIm finally forcing the Federation to use war ships was also quite the plus.

 

i have both the original series and the next generation on DVD.
i consider the next generation more watchable.

 

See I use to like TNG a lot too. But a few weeks ago I caught like four episodes of the original series back to back, that were airing on nick at night. They were running a marathon. *_*

TNG is what I grew up with, and its an awesome show. But there's elements of the original series that I think no other series could ever live up to. There's this awesome symbolism, that has a lot to say about the world at the time the series came out. Gene Roddenberry was brilliant I think. Star Trek itself i think is where he thinks human beings should be, a possible future for man. Its an interesting concept. The original series incorporated a lot of unity. There was a black woman, an alien, an asian, a russian and a white captain. Pretty cool idea to cast those kinds of people for a show in the 60's. I read somewhere that Uhura wanted to leave the show originally, but she was contacted by MLK and he told her she was making a powerful message for african americans in the united states, so she stayed. That's pretty cool.

TNG had some of the same elements, I think particularly centering around Data. With the rate of our technology its safe to assume we're possible of creating AI and giving it a will of its own. Data often had troubles in the series dealing with people who didn't believe he was a "life form" because he was a robot. I think maybe a lot of that was to ask the question to the viewers "what necessarily constitutes life?".

I love Kirk. But Shatner is an ass. There's no other way to say it! I saw a show on tv a few weeks ago that was called "How William Shatner changed the World". I mean are you kidding me!?! He was an actor! he didn't -create- star trek! Gah!

I can't believe he got away with it.


Now the question in my mind is this. What's the best Star Trek movie? Which one really presented itself for all of its ideas, combined with acting, some action, special effects, etc. ?

 

Kirk vs. Picard, Sisco, and Janeway

I have seen Kirk get thrown by a enemy, but only once. I've seen Picard when a enemy had him wondering how many lights he was seeing. Sisco was alright, but I have never liked the actor that play the part, and Janeway was a joke.

 

Wrath of Khan

 

there are three in my opinion.
star trek 6 the undiscovered country.
and the first, star trek the motion picture.

of TNG i liked insurrection

 

The Voyage Home, for one reason:

My friend here had too much LDS in the 60's.
You mean LSD?
Yes, LSD.

 

The first movie sucked. Basically, the even numbered movies were better than the odds. I don't know why, but that rule hold thru the whole series of movies.