Gaaaaaahhh

But it does happen. My cousin went for her 18 week scan and was told that there were severe abnormalities with the foetus. After numerous other tests and scans, by week 21, it was found that the baby would not have survived to full term. She then faced the decision to keep going with the pregnancy and keep feeling the baby growing and moving, and knowing the whole time that it would be born dead, or to have an abortion. She opted for the abortion, and I can assure you this child was much wanted and planned for. What got me and frankly made me angry was that when she went to the clinic to see the doctor who was going to perform the abortion, she was confronted by pro-lifers who hurled abuse at her, not knowing what her situation was. I cannot even begin to describe how upsetting and distressing it was for her to have to put up with those people. Those people did not care what her plight was. As far as they were concerned, she was the enemy and should be hounded for a decision she had taken and had been advised to take by her doctors.

Only the woman having the abortion knows why she is having it. You or I could see it as something of convenience, but for her it could be something that is vital and possibly lifesaving. What you may term to be 'convenience' could be essential or as I said before, lifesaving, to the woman who is faced with the decision. It is not for anyone to tell her that she is wrong in her decision in something that will affect her, possibly detrimentally, for the rest of her life.

To many women having the abortion, the foetus is not 'a child' per se. I do not see my 14 week old foetus as 'a child' to be honest. Sure I will refer to it as 'the baby' etc, but it is not a child. Not yet anyway. It cannot survive outside of my body. I cannot hold it, see it, smell it, change its dirty nappy, feed it, etc, as one would a child or as I do with my one year old.

But not everyone feels that way. I know when I was pregnant with my first, I was quite ill and at times dangerously so, and I had at one point been advised that an abortion might be an option for me to ensure my safety. And I will be honest when I say I thought about it. But then I decided against it. I sucked it up and put up with being in and out of hospital and scared out of my wits and I had a healthy son 9 long long months later. Luckily this time my husband and I have only had one really big scare which turned out to be just that, a scare, unlike with our first born where I'd have to be rushed to hospital at all hours in an ambulance with sirens wailing and the paramedic telling me that I may have lost the baby.. by the 12th time this occured, I'd just gotten to the point where I would just literally shrug and my husband and I would just say we'll wait for the scan before you book a theater for the surgery.

But not all women want to put up with it. I am amazed that I did to be honest. You say yourself that at the time, had you known your child would have suffered from DS, you might have opted for an abortion. Hindsight and experience says a lot. Not everyone facing such a decision would go the way you have gone and kept the child if they had known, and many do not. You also claim that when in college you wouldn't have really cared if she'd gotten rid of your first born. Many college students may have an abortion where you and your girlfriend did not. You are looking at it in hindsight, but not everyone has that option. While you may be appalled that you realise you wouldn't have cared back then about the notion of an abortion, not everyone has that hindsight and had your girlfriend had the abortion, your opinion may be quite different to what it is now. But the issue is that you had the option to do so. Pro-lifers want to take away the option and the choice that you had back then.

 

And how about for equal measure we also punish the male "slut" who forgot to use the condom? Hmmmm? How about for the guy who forces the woman to get an abortion whether she wants to or not because he does not want it? So what punishment would be doled out to him? How about castration?

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This is what always gets me with the abortion debate. It's always the woman's fault if she gets pregnant and does not want it.. so of course she's automatically branded a "slut". But if there's something wrong with the baby and she does not want it.. well 'nooo that's fine'.. The fact is, the pill does not always work, neither does the condom. Accidents do and can happen. Branding the woman a "slut" for getting pregnant is not only weak and pathetic, it shows the total lack of understanding of the actual issue by the people referring to her as such.

As it stands at present, a woman can get an abortion if she so chooses. If you don't like it, then don't have one yourself. If you are a male and don't want a woman to have an abortion, either get a vasectomy and the woman gets her tubes tied or make sure YOU use the proper forms of birth control to ensure she does not get pregnant (again which can be futile as pregnancy can still occur).. just in case she does get an abortion. Or simply do not have sex at all.

 

I recommend editing this thread and eliminating all posts by men. We have no right to an opinion on abortion.

 

As a woman, I have to disagree with you here. I personally think the father should also have a say if he so chooses. Having said that however, with my first pregnancy when I became very ill and was being rushed to hospital virtually on a weekly basis, my husband never once tried to pressure me into keeping it or getting rid of it. Yes it is ultimately the woman's choice, but the father of the child should also have a say and if he doesn't want to get rid of it, he should be allowed to voice said opinion. However not he, nor anyone else should try to force her into any decision. It is then up to her to decide what she wants to do. I hate it when I hear of women sneaking off to get an abortion so that their partners don't know because he may want to have a child.

I had been talking about men who force their wives or girlfriends into getting an abortion. But since you bought up the "no" factor in sex and how it is the woman's right to say "no". Some men do not listen to the woman when she says "no" and will keep going without or without a condom because some men believe that even though she's consented to being naked in bed with him, she still has the right to refuse and stop, but some men think that she's playing difficult to get and will ignore her refusal. That is rape, but many men and women for that matter don't view it as such.

As for a woman begging for sex without a condom and then wanting an abortion.. LOL.. yes you're right, it is quite rare

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. You do realise what an abortion is don't you? You do realise that for a woman it is quite a stressful and at times afterwards, a painful and dangerous surgical procedure?

 

What in the hell are you on about?

I take it you missed the part where I said this?...

At the end of the day it is her choice because it is her body the baby is in. It is her life that is affected by the pregnancy, not his. But he should have a say in whether she gets rid of it or not if he so chooses. But at the end of the day, it should be ultimately her decision to make while keeping his wishes in mind or take it into consideration when she makes said decision. No one should force her to do anything she does not want to do with her body.

Yes the father helped create the embryo, but so did she and it's her body that has to carry it. And let me tell you, contrary to the glowing reports of pregnancy you might hear.. it is not a 'pleasant' experience for the woman, especially towards the end and for a few weeks after the birth for that matter. Now if a woman does not want to go through that, no one should force her to. While the baby is half his, in that it carries half his genes, unless he wants to carry it himself (scientific impossibility) or care for it all by his lonesome (if she does not want to do it), then he really has no ultimate say in the matter at the end of the day, except to tell her how she feels and let her decide what SHE wants to do. He cannot, nor should he, force her to follow through with the pregnancy.