I love you too Chimpkin. Tie your shoe before you trip . What ever happens to people that don't tie there shoes . Wear sandals!! I like internet friends . IN some ways they are better than physical friends . For me I feel like my most inner thoughts are conveyed to people other than my self . Something you can't do effectively in the physical world . The internet provides a captive audience where as thoughts get cut off and fragmented in physical world . Even your own kids will say "Yes Dad we know stop ranting" So I don't care if you think different than Me , Hell I might even learn something about things I don't normally confront in physical world . You never know
"Friends? Your friends?... If you lock them together in a room with no food for a week... ...then you could see what it is, friends!..." -- Vladek to Artie, his son. From the Prologue to Art Spiegelman's Maus. Yeah, I've struggled with this one for a lifetime. I consider very few people "friends." And everyone's got very different notions about what ought and oughtn't be considered "substantial matters." For me, the following are most substantial (and I'm sure that I am forgetting a few): -- Political inclinations. -- Disposition towards religiosity--especially difficult are those leaning towards the Christian persuasion and the insistent Atheists. -- Being born-rich, yet thinking you're "middle-class." (Even worse are those who think they're "poor.") -- Musical taste--liking anything on a major label released post-late-70's is problematic (excepting certain classical labels and archival stuff, i.e., Nonesuch, Smithsonian Folkways, etc.). -- Consumerism, i.e., the tendency to buy a lot of shit. Also, heavy energy consumers. -- Politeness, passive-aggressiveness, and deference (except when altogether appropriate) are especially irksome. I could probably go on for a long time, but I suspect my point is clear. I respect and tolerate difference, and I can--in very small doses--get along just fine with those who "think" quite differently, but it's difficult to consider such persons "friends." I prefer to refer to most people as simply "acquaintances," and call very, very few people "friends."
You can eat Me , I don't care . Human flesh is tasty from what I have heard . Your a snob . Your like my Dad . His philosophy is people have to earn your friendship . Lots of people are like you so don't feel so special about being like the older class people . I don't know why you and Fraggle don't get along . He is from a similar mind set , except maybe his snobbery is under better control than yours
People don't realize how the west was won . The fortitude it took . I forget the name of the book . It was an Autobiography of pioneer families going out west on the Oregon trail . Winter was approaching faster than the settlers had anticipated and this one cowboy type accidentally shot him self in the leg. So instead of holding up the rest of the settlers he asked them to finish him off . Put a bullet in his skull so the rest of the group could continue on with out him slowing the group down . They did and buried him and made it to there destination before the snow flew
There was a physical antipathy, at least from my point of view, so it can not be narrowed down to my choices in men, because I didn't consider him to be sexually attractive to begin with, but apparently he thought I was.
I didn't realize that Fraggle and I do not get along--is agreeing with absolutely everything a person says and thinks a prerequisite for "getting along"? Also, can you read?
Perhaps the antipathy needs to be from the male perspective? Nature has made the male of the species very 'patriotic' to the idea of genetic diversity and perpetuation of life. For some, antipathy would not even be a consideration where such an important 'duty' is concerned. I have heard it remarked that no matter how plain looking a woman might be, men will still 'check out the rear view' as she leaves the room. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! It certainly does pose a challenge for a woman in seeking the male perspective in 'friendships'. :bugeye: I work with a couple of fellows whom are very capable, as am I and we have mutual respect where 'the mission' is concerned. I am not at all concerned about being alone in the building even when there are only two of us. Not sure that I could share 24/7 with them, though. They are equally as tenacious as am I. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
O.K. O.K. I don't read that good . Dyslexia if you have not heard . I am also subject to mild bouts of disorientation. Vertigo mainly . Your a great person ! Want to be friends? I will teach you some guitar licks that will blow your fucking mind . O.K. Saralee don't get your panties all bunched up . I know you can play Guitar , I think, can't remember ? I am disoriented today
See this is the modern world . Me I Play with Mary and sexuality is part of the business , but I don't think of having sex with Mary . WE weave music and that is the form of intercourse we have . WE work together for a common goal . I know she has lots to offer Me in the way of her special musicality . If we had sex it would fuck it all up not to mention my wife would be mad as hell
I honestly dotn think i have even one friend on the internet. If i do i am not aware of it. i dont want to hurt peoples feelings so i do have personalities i like. The can funny, they can be honest, they can have certain qualities that i see myself getting along with but its not like i actually know these people. That said, some pele do form friendships from net to off the internet...just that i never have.
I think Signal...grew up in some sort of rigid conformist subculture where to disagree with someone is a personal attack. I have trust issues. I nevertheless love and trust my wife more than I ever have anyone; such that the battle between getting closer and running away is actively making my brain go haywire. As you might have noticed. Neither my wife or I agree with each other often. I joke that when we rented a canoe, we argued it around the lake, and then eventually took to rowing in shifts. We argue, argue, argue. Disagree a lot. Are two prickly people. Are in couples counseling, hoping that will work. What happens when you expect your friends to always agree? one of two things: no friends, or the ones you have are lying to you to spare your feelings. No two people agree perfectly, and it's really rare to even be closely ideologically aligned. I go insaner without friends, so I need them, and I have to work past the spats. That is less of a problem than my desire to get the heck away from them as soon as they start mattering to me. Because as soon as they matter, they can hurt me. I do better with people at arm's length.Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
Internet 'friendship' perhaps reflects the time we invest in reading and responding to the posts of persons that we have not yet, or perhaps may never meet face to face. Sharing time and information is a large part of what we do with our friends 'in person'. We go places and do things together. The forum is the place we go and we converse on a wide range of topics, from the investigative sciences through the 'social' sciences. The friendship feature is a way of reaching out, across the miles, and acknowledging to another, "I see you. I hear you." Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
It's not about expecting agreement. It's about either having or not having much in common. I do think that in order to be friends, two people must have 1. things in common, 2. to each of them, those things must be quite important per se, regardless of the relaitonships with other people, 3. those things must be healthy and sane, so that they are sustainable and life-enhancing. This could be triggering, but - Isn't what you are saying above an example of an enmeshed attitude to relationships? "If it doesn't hurt, it's not love" kind of thing? If all, or the central things, one shares with someone are problems, neuroses, addictions or a bad habits or something like that, then this isn't much of a relationship. I mean, with many people here at the forums, what I have in common is an unhappiness, an uncertainty. And while this can bring us close and makes us spend a lot of time together, it doesn't necessarily make us friends. So to speak, we are happy because we are together, but we are unhappy because of what we are together about.
Well, yes, but ...perhaps we disagree on the number of things they must have in common... No, I just keep expecting it to hurt. Waiting for the shoe to drop. So emotionally I always have half my bags packed. My brain is a very strange and disjointed place.:shrug: Meh, I'm just not a very happy person.
Life long friends with two of them. We do have wine occasionally when we dine out but we really don't drink all that much nor hard liqueur either. Discussions are easily brought up after dinner usually and sometimes during dinner as well. As of about 5 years ago I communicate by Email with them as well.
chimp you are so prolific with the negative affirmations. why can't you change your mind? i know it's not easy, but it is possible to train yourself to think differently (positively), and that actually changes the physical and chemical makeup of your brain, reconditioning yourself, like exercising any other part of your body to make it healthy. check out these ladies. joyce meyer is one of the very few evangelists i like. she's the real deal, and she wrote a good book called "battlefield of the mind". her guest on this show caroline leaf can explain how your thoughts can change your brain.
That's more of a constant struggle than a "there, fixed!" thing for me. Besides, also an observation. If you're being rained on, it's not negative thinking to acknowledge you're getting wet. And I could run around thinking " What's wrong with me, and trying to "fix' 'the problem'. Or I can simply accept that that's what I have to work with. Accepting it does not make me feel unreal, like I'm in a bad dream. Accepting it makes me feel...content? At home in my skin for once? Not happy, but...Like I've stopped struggling for what everyone else wants...trying to fit myself into what I'm 'supposed' to feel and decided to just roll comfortably with what I have. I genuinely fear people, it's not a surface fear. I have to just push through it with the people I decide are worth it.. It has a cause, an origin of legitimacy. And I am sometimes outrageously happy, but usually rather...not :shrug:
