"Buy the ticket, take the ride." -Johnny Depp, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. "Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, but don't swallow." - Al Pacino, Devil's Advocate. and lots of fight club quotes that i can't even remember right now haha
"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of uppers, downers, laughers, screamers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can." - Raul Duke, Fear and Loathing "[Watching Dr. Gonzo leave.] There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die." - Raul Duke, Dear and Loathing "Look, there's two women fucking a polar bear." - Raul Duke, Fear and Loathing "Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. Your normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop-heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow." - Raul Duke, Fear and Loathing "Raoul Duke: I want you to understand that this man at the wheel is my attorney. He's not just some dingbat I found on the strip, man. He's a foreigner. I think he's probably Samoan. But that doesn't matter, though, does it? Are you prejudiced?" - Raul Duke, Fear and Loathing "Jules: There's a passage I got memorized, seems appropriate for this situation: Ezekiel 25:17. 'The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you.' " - Samuel L. Jackons, Pulp Fiction Jimmie: I'm not a cobb or corn, so you can stop butterin' me up. I don't need you to tell me how good my coffee is. I'm the one who buys it, I know how fuckin' good it is. When Bonnie goes shoppin;, she buys shit. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff 'cause when I drink it, I wanna taste it. But what's on my mind at this moment isn't the coffee in my kitchen, it's the dead nigger in my garage. Vincent: Jimmie -- Jimmie: -- I'm talkin'. Now let me ask you a question, Jules. When you drove in here, did you notice a sign out front that said, "Dead nigger storage?" -- answer to question. Did you see a sign out in front of my house that said, "Dead nigger storage?" Vincent: Naw man, I didn't. Jimmie: You know why you didn't see that sign? Vincent: Why? Jimmie: 'Cause storin' dead niggers ain't my fuckin' business!" - Quentin Tarantion, John Travolta and Sammy Jackson in Pulp Fiction "They bought it. Incredible. One of the worst performances of my career and they never doubted it for a second. How can I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this? This is my ninth sick-day this semester. It’s getting pretty tough coming up with new illnesses. If I go for ten I’ll probably gonna have to barf up a lung. So I better make this one count. The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands. Its a good non-specific symptom. I’m a big believer in it. A lot of people will tell you that a good phony fever is a dead lock but you get a nervous mother, you could wind up at a doctor’s office, that’s worse than school. You fake a stomach cramp and when you’re bent over moaning and wailing... you lick your palms. It’s a little childish and stupid but then, so is high school. Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it. I do have a test today, that wasn’t bullshit. Its on European Socialism. I mean really, whats the point? I’m not European, I don’t plan on being European so who gives a crap if they’re socialists? They could be fascist anarchists. Still wouldn’t change that fact that I don’t own a car... "I recall.. Central Park in fall... How you tore your dress, what a mess, I confess, its love"... Its not that I condone fascism, or any ism for that matter. Isms in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, “I don’t believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.” A good point there. Afterall, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I’d still have to bum rides of people." - Ferris Beurler, Ferris Beuler's Day Off "Bluto: Over? Did you say "over"? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no! Otter: Germans? Boon: Forget it, he's rolling." - John Belushi, Animal House "Zoe: How do you write women so well? Melvin: I think of a man and take away reason and accountability." - Jack Nicholson, As Good As It Gets "John Milton: Who in their right mind, Kevin, could possibly deny that the twentieth century was mine, all of it Kevin, all of it mine?" - Pacino, Devil's Advocate "Hotel guest: What are you supposed to be, some kind of cosmonaut? Venkman: No. We're exterimators. Somebody saw a cockroach up on twelfth. Hotel guest: That's gotta be some cockroach. Venkman: Bite your head off, man." - Ghostbusters "Harry: No man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her. Sally: So you are saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive? Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them too." - Billy Crystal, When Harry Met Sally And the following Woody Allen quotes: Isaac: I could tell by the sound of your voice over the phone. Very authoritative you know, like the Pope or the computer in 2001. Yale: You are so self-righteous, you know. I mean we're just people. We're just human beings, you know? You think you're God. Isaac Davis: I... I gotta model myself after someone. If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick -- not wounded -- dead. Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best. To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition. Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone you love. And if it turns out that there is a God, I don't believe that he is evil. The worst that can be said is that he's an underachiever. I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy. I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher - they are going to make a board game out of it. If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe. More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly
Apocalypse Now Absolute best quote ever comes from Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now: "We train young men to drop fire on people. But their commanders won't allow them to write 'fuck' on their airplanes because it's obscene." That line pretty much expresses my feelings about modern war. I also love Beavis' speech about how he's never gonna score in Beavis And Butthead Do America.
"What's tha matta. 'aven't got the minerals?" -Snatch "Wipe yo'self off. You dead." -Rush Hour 2 "I am Yu Law. I am nobodie's bitch!" -The One "Shite." -A Knight's Tale
Monty Python & The Holy Grail Arthur tries to enter a castle guarded by French soldiers ARTHUR: If you will not show us the Grail, we shall take your castle by force! FRENCH GUARD: You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Arthur King, you and all your silly English k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt!Thppt! GALAHAD: What a strange person. ARTHUR: Now look here, my good man-- FRENCH GUARD: I don't wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! You mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! GALAHAD: Is there someone else up there we could talk to? FRENCH GUARD: No, now go away or I shall taunt you a second time-a! FRENCH GUARD: How you English say, 'I one more time, mac, unclog my nose in your direction', sons of a window-dresser! So, you think you could out-clever us French folk with your silly knees-bent running about advancing behavior?! I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy lot of second hand electric donkey-bottom biters. ARTHUR: In the name of the Lord, we demand entrance to this sacred castle! FRENCH GUARD: No chance, English bed-wetting types. I burst my pimples at you and call your door-opening request a silly thing, you tiny-brained wipers of other people's bottoms!
"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller's Day Off (Damn it Tyler, you stole my favorite quote)Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! You know what crazy is? Crazy is majority rules! - Jeffrey Goines, Twelve Monkeys How much money did you give that guy? A wiseguy never pays for his drinks. - Lefty, Donnie Brasco Natalya Siminova: How can you be so cold? James Bond: It's what keeps me alive. Natalya Siminova: No. It's what keeps you alone. - Goldeneye Xenia Onatopp: You don't need the gun. James Bond: Well, that depends on your definition of safe sex. - Goldeneye Miss Moneypenny: You know, this kind of behaviour could qualify as sexual harassment. James Bond: And what's the penalty for that? Miss Moneypenny: Some day, you'll have to make good on your innuendos. - Goldeneye General Ourumov: Throw down your weapons and come out with your hands above your head. James Bond: How original. - Goldeneye Plenty: "Hi, I'm Plenty." James Bond: "But of course you are." Plenty: "Plenty O'Toole." James Bond: "Named after your father perhaps." - Diamonds are Forever Clarke "Mouth" Devereux: You call this water? Mama Fratelli: It's wet, ain't it? Drink it! - Goonies
"Worker bees can leave Even drones can fly away The queen is their slave" Jack's haiku from Fight Club. "I want you to hit me as hard as you can" "Really?" "Yes" "Owww! You hit my fucking ear!" "I'm breaking my attachment to physical power and possessions, because only through destroying myself can I discover the greater power of my spirit" ""the guy, I say is probably at home every night with a little rattail file, filing a cross into the tip of every one of his rounds. This way, when he shows up to work one morning and pumps a round into his nagging, ineffectual, petty, whining, butt-su¢king, candy-a$s boss, that one round will split along the filed grooves and spread open the way a dumdum bullet flowers inside you to blow a bushel load of your stinking guts out through your spine. Picture your gut chakra opening in a slow-motion explosion of sausage-casing small intestine." Jack to his boss when the latter catches him printing fight club materials. Tyler: "That's right. One can make all kinds of explosives using simple household items." Narrator: "Really." Tyler: "If one were so inclined." (Which is quite true. Better living through chemistry) "That old saying, how you always hurt the one you love, well, it works both ways." "And then... something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion -- dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all hope was freedom." "You are not your job. You are not how much you have in the bank. You are not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking Khakis. You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world." "The condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip it on, you dance the night away with a stranger, and then you throw it away - the condom, that is, not the stranger." "You fuck me, then snub me. You love me, you hate me. You show me your sensitive side, then you turn into a total asshole! Is that a pretty accurate description of our relationship, Tyler?" Oh damn, about anything from Dr.Strangelove. "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the War Room!" "I enjoy women, Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence" "He'll see everything, sir. He'll see the big board!" "I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, communist subversion, and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids." "Mandrake: "Survival Kit contents check. In them you will find: one 45 caliber automatic, two boxes of ammunition, four days concentrated emergency rations, one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills, one miniature combination Rooshan phrase book and Bible, one hundred dollars in rubles, one hundred dollars in gold, nine packs of chewing gum, one issue of prophylactics, three lipsticks, three pair of nylon stockings -- shoot, a fellah could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff...."
John Travolta in Urban Cowboy: (to his wife Sissy) " I want to apologize clear back to the first time I hit you"
Oft overlooked in a movie filled with quotable lines; "It is sad that what is pleasing to touch is so rarely pleasing to the eye." - Pulp Fiction
"I swear on my dead relatives, and even the ones that don't feel so good, I am your man. -Count of Monte Cristo
"With a bit of luck, his life was ruined forever. Always thinking that just behind some narrow door in all of his favorite bars, men in red woolen shirts are getting incredible kicks from things he'll never know." - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas "Look at me, jerking off in the shower. This will be the high point of my day. It's all downhill from here." - Kevin Spacey, American Beauty "Hey Les, you got a minute? For you Brad, I got five." - Kevin Spacey and someone, American Beauty CAROLINE: I-I see you're smoking pot now? I-I'm so glad. I think using illegal psychotropic substances is a very positive example to set for our daughter. LESTER: You're one to talk you bloodless, money-grabbing freak. - American Beauty LESTER (in a resignation letter to his superior at work): My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and at least once a day retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasise about a life that doesn't so closely resemble hell. - American Beauty "That's the day I realised that there was this entire life behind things. And this incredibly benevolent force, it wanted me to know that there was no reason to be afraid... ever. Video is a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember. I need to remember. Sometimes there is so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it... and my heart is just going to cave in." - Wes Bentley, American Beauty "Roads? Where we're going we dont need roads." - Doc, Back to the Future DOC: Who's the President of the United States, future boy? MARTY: Ronald Regan DOC: The actor! Ha! And I suppose Jack Benny is the Secretary of Treasury - Back to the Future YOUNG BIFF: Make like a tree and get out of here. OLD BIFF: It's leave you idiot! Make like a tree and leave! You sound like a damn fool when you say it wrong. - Back to the Future II "We killed a man. Shot him in the back. A mountain man. A cracker." - Deliverance "Sometimes you have to lose yourself 'fore you can find anything." - Deliverance "He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man." - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas "You can turn your back on a person, but don't ever turn your back on a drug. Especially when it's waving a razor-sharp hunting knife in your eye." - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas "Let's get down to brass tacks. How much for the ape? " - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas "Although I haven't seen him in almost ten years I know I'll miss him forever. I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was tweleve. Jesus, does anybody? " - Stand By Me "As long as people are still having premarital sex with many anonymous partners while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free enviroment, I'll be as sound as a pound!" - Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery Bill Hicks quotes (For Tyler, in return for the great Allen quotes): Isn't it interesting that two drugs that are legal - alcohol and cigarettes - are two drugs that do absolutely................. NOTHING for you whatsoever... and drugs that grow naturally upon this planet, drugs that open your eyes up to make you realise how you're being fucked everyday of your life... well... those drugs are against the law... wow! Coincidence..? I dunno... I'm sure their motives are pure. Mushrooms grow naturally upon this planet - against the law. Marijuana grows naturally upon this planet - against the law. Doesn't the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit... unnatural? A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fuckin' cross? It's kind of like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on. If you don't think drugs have done good things for us then take all of your records, tapes and CD's and burn them. 'Cos you know the musicians who made all that great music that's enhanced your lives over the years...? RRRRRRRRRRREAL fuckin' high on drugs! Man, the Beatles were so high they even let Ringo sing a couple of tunes - tell me they weren't partyin'! The worst kind of non-smokers are the ones who walk up to you while you're smoking.. "ahem ahem... ahem ahem ahem..... ahem ahem ahem ahem... AHEM AHEM AHEM...". I always say "Shit, you're lucky you don't smoke! That's a hell of a cough you got there - I smoke all day and don't cough like that... Maybe you were conceived with a weak sperm or somethin'. Maybe your dad was jackin off and your mom sat on it at the last second... D'you walk up to crippled people and start dancin' you fucks?!" The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question, is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey - don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride..." And we... kill those people. Some of these quotes won't be word perfect.. my memory has deteriorated somewhat due to lack of sleep. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! b
"Scottie likes beans, don't you Scottie" "If there is any attempt by either constant to cheat, especially with my wife, who is a dirty, dirty tramp, i am just gunna snap." "If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis" "Of course i pee'd my pants, everyone my age pee's their pants! It's the coolest! You ain't cool unless you pee your pants!" "Mr Madison, what you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic thing's that i have ever heard. At no point in you rambling incoherant response were you even close to anything that could be conisdered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul." All from Billy Madison. Possibly the funniest film ever made!
Thundercat: "All from Billy Madison. Possibly the funniest film ever made!" May I suggest you watch "The Party" with Peter Sellers. Since you seem to like Adam Sandler ( as I do) how about the line: "The price is wrong Bob!"
"the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." y'all know which movie that's taken from, i assume.Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
"I'm not crazy. I've just been in a very bad mood for the past 40 years!" -Steel Magnolias "We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for. To quote from Whitman, "O me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless-of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life? Answer. That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse." That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be? -Dead Poets Society
"The thing about life is, there's no danger music!" ~ The Cable Guy. "I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You seem to perfer the latter." ~ The Cable Guy
