Everyday sexism

Discussion in 'Ethics, Morality, & Justice' started by James R, Dec 7, 2020.

  1. wegs Matter and Pixie Dust Valued Senior Member

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    9,253
    Hand on knee? Crossing a line for sure. But see? You didn't say anything. You didn't tell her to stop, did you? Why not? In that moment, you may have felt the way some women feel when having to tolerate certain situations, because they fear repercussions, you know?

    People will never truly understand something, until it happens to them.
    - unknown author
     
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  3. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    Ummm, wegs, she knew 100% that I was uncomfortable.

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    and actually ceased when I sort of sidled away.

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  5. wegs Matter and Pixie Dust Valued Senior Member

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    Gotcha, okay. lol It wasn't clear above, so I assumed. Mea culpa.
     
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  7. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    No probs.
    [And I had also had a belly full of VB!]

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  8. Bells Staff Member

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    And we have provided you with ample evidence that such behaviour is not appropriate when these women are complete strangers to you and in their workplace.

    Numerous links, studies and articles.

    You have not read a single one because all of them point out that your behaviour is not acceptable.

    You want to refer to the women you know and/or are close to as "love", knock yourself out? Complete strangers who are trying to get through their workday, no. Not appropriate. Asking a young woman where she's hiding the extra virgin olive oil, not appropriate and creepy/sleazy. Flirting with women while they are trying to do their job (which is exactly what you are doing), not appropriate, creepy/sleazy.

    None of us are making excuses when we tell you that your behaviour is inappropriate and that you should be mindful of how others feel at all times, particularly when they are trying to do their job. Treat them with respect and professionally. That's not a huge ask.

    And you were creepy and a sleaze.

    My what?

    Your behaviour is not appropriate, not here and by your telling, not in public and private spaces where these women work.
    While ignoring that you may have made these people uncomfortable.

    You are one of the most toxic posters we have on this site.

    And again, sexualised inappropriate comments. Not appropriate or appreciated.

    Why do you keep doing it, even when I ask you to stop?

    It is sexual harassment by any definition. I keep asking you to stop with the sexist and sexual innuendo and jokes and "banter", you keep doing it. Is this you being respectful to women? You claim you'd stop if you were given any indication that it wasn't appreciated. I am literally telling you to stop and you just refuse to and instead keep piling it on.

    Again, your approach was creepy and sleazy.

    Ask any of the other men and women who are reading this thread what they think.

    Two women participating in this thread have told you that your behaviour is inappropriate. You refuse to listen. Instead, you continue with the behaviour towards us.

    Now ask her how she'd feel if her young teenage daughter was working in a supermarket and an old coot walked up to her and asked her where she was hiding that extra virgin olive oil.

    Such as what?

    Tell you to 'fuck off you old pervert'?

    As provided by various links, studies, etc, young retail staff and customer driven staff, particularly young women who work in these fields (it's often their first jobs) are either afraid to report people like you, tell you where to shove your sexual harassment or know how to deal with it. They are required to smile at you. If they do not, they lose their job. If they show that you repulse them or creep them out, they lose their job. And I am not the only one who has explained this to you.

    This is either trolling, deliberate ignorance or you are simply as dumb as a door post.

    I am very sure they do.

    It is flirty behaviour and I am not the only one who has noticed.

    Given I am not the only one who finds your behaviour objectionable and has pointed out your sexist behaviour and attitude..

    A while ago now, I told you that your behaviour, jokes, banter, or however you wanted to refer to it, was not appropriate, was sexual harassment and offensive. You responded by calling me "girly" and then telling me several jokes that were equally inappropriate and offensive.

    So much for you backing off when told something is offensive or when you are given an indication of it, huh?

    Here we are telling you that what you are saying and doing is not appropriate and throughout the course of this thread, you just keep making more inappropriate comments and adding emoticons because you think what exactly? It's condescending and patronising.

    Your behaviour on this forum shows differently.
     
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  9. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    You just don't get it.

    Being Irish himself gives your mate some licence to tell self-deprecating Irish jokes.

    You, on the other hand, are presumably not Irish. So, if you insist on telling your mate's insulting Irish jokes to Irish people who are strangers to you, don't be surprised if they get a bit tetchy with you.

    The same goes for jokes about black people. And women, of course.

    Are you starting to get it, yet?
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2020
  10. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    Nobody's morals are first class and beyond question.

    You don't get to have the final say on whether your own behaviour is considered moral or not, either.
     
  11. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    I will comment on a couple of things, the rest is simply rehash and nonsense.

    What I do outside this forum is what society condones and dictates, certainly not what you dictate and has sfa to do with you...Got it?
    Calling you girlie? Any reference for that Bells?
    I dare say like near everything else, it is something you have taken out of context, misinterpreted or misrepresented.
     
  12. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    My morals are as good if not better then yours.
     
  13. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    They don't, and yes I tell plenty.
     
  14. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    Alex:

    You may have chosen a bad example.

    Movie Westerns are set in a period in America's history where the nation was expanding from east to west. Certain frontier towns were especially lawless at that time, or else effectively controlled by corrupt people. If a moral person is operating in an environment in which immorality is the norm, he or she can often be confronted with difficult choices. In a lawless environment, sometimes the only realistic option is to meet violence with violence.

    During the western expansion, it was also the case that some frontier towns were predominantly populated by men. The fact that western movies often depict whores in saloons merely reflects something that was not uncommon at that time and in that place.

    For the most part, I don't think that American Western movies hold up immoral people as heroes. The heroes in such movies are usually people who are out for justice of one sort or another. In recent times, there has, however, been a trend towards depicting the realities of violent lawlessness more realistically than Hollywood has tended to do in the past. Some of the best Westerns of recent times have made it a point to look at what is morally ambiguous or questionable about their heroes' actions. Also worth mentioning is that the Western genre has always presented anti-heroes alongside true heroes.
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2020
  15. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    39,271
    You should invite your "Mrs" to read the entire thread, not just snippets that you curate for her.

    Ask her for her thoughts on what each poster has written - especially the ones from the women here. Ask her at what point she thinks you should stop.

    I'm also very happy to talk to her directly if she wants to take issue with something I've written here. For now, all we have - again - is your second-hand report about what she thinks about all of this. And we already know that what you believe women think is not necessarily consistent with what they actually think.
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2020
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  16. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    Again, you're assuming people can't walk and chew gum at the same time.

    If you want to start a new thread about domestic violence, please be my guest. It is a very serious issue, with women being regularly killed by men - most often men they know.

    The topic has very little to do with the one that is the subject of this thread, though.

    It is possible to contribute to more than one thread. Trust me.
     
  17. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    Didn't he seem unusual to you?
     
  18. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    You're being confronted in this thread by a number of people, all of whom object to your behaviour.

    I'm not seeing any willingness on your part to modify your behaviour in response. On the contrary, you keep doubling down on it and refusing to be better.
     
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  19. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    My behaviour in public and what I have addressed here, is governed by my community and society in general, and the common banter that does and will continue to exist, without any double meanings, sublime messages or hidden agendas.
     
  20. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    Lordy me, more unsubstantiated silly accusations!
    She's read enough to understand the gist of it, and since she herself used the term love yesterday, has absolutely no objection to such casual everyday banter.
    Yes, my second hand accurate reports that have occurred and continue to occur everyday, rather then the whinges from people who know not what they are talking about and obviously were'nt there.
    Have a couple more I may relate to wegs Tomorrow, being one of the contributors that have avoided the disgusting insults and unfounded allegations, based on personal questionable standards.
     
  21. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    paddoboy:

    You keep ignoring actual studies and findings that Bells points out for you.

    I want you to tell me specifically what you think about this one, which Bells put to you earlier but which you pretended she never posted:

    The problem is that these words make people feel disrespected and uncomfortable – and it happens most often to women by men. A survey by U.K. market research site OnePoll found that almost three-quarters of women think pet names in the office are “unacceptable,” while one in four say it makes them angry. The most hated terms were calling them “love,” followed by “darlin,” “mate” and “hun.” And the women said male bosses and colleagues were most likely to address them this way.
    Tell me what you think about all these women who hate male bosses and colleagues calling them "love".

    If you were their boss, would you still insist on calling them "love", at least until one of them was brave enough to file a formal complaint against you?

    Now, try to translate this to the context of yourself as a customer at a supermarket, say. Do you think it is conceivable that, given that 75% of women in the survey above hated the term "love" used by older males in the workplace, women who are serving you in the supermarket might similarly be offended when addressed by you as "love"?

    Will you alter your future behaviour at all in light of this information that Bells has kindly provided to you about how so many women dislike being referred to as "love"? If not, why not?
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2020
  22. James R Just this guy, you know? Staff Member

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    Only she wasn't talking about what you do outside this forum, there, and you know it. She was referring, specifically, to what you did inside this forum, to her, which has quite a lot "sfa" to do with her.

    You need to stop this soon, before things get a lot more serious once again.
     
  23. paddoboy Valued Senior Member

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    27,543
    All questions have been answered many times.
    In short, My behaviour is not in question in my community or society in general.
     

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