Email password cracking

The simple fact of the matter (for me) is that if your significant other is cheating on you, that is a symptom - a symptom that there is somethign seriously wrong with your realtionship.
If you are unable or unwilling to see that, you are a fool.
Either you are lying to yourself, your relationship is not based on open communication and respect, you have been neglecting your significant other or a number of other possibilities.

You don't simply "lose" trust, as if it is a set of car keys.
If you have lost trust, that is a symptom of something much bigger and more sinister, and you need to get to the bottom of that.
spying on your significant other will not help you do that - if anything it will make it worse.
The ONLY thing that will do that is being completely open and honest with your significant other and yourself.

As for the high divorce rate, who gives a rat's ass?
Should I stay in a relationship for the sake of the statistics?
If a relationship is such hard work, there is something wrong with it.
Life and situations can be hard, and your partner should be the person you can lean on in those situations.
The relationship itself should not be hard.

If my wife cheats on me, it's over - no questions asked, no second chances - and I know that the same would be true if I cheated on her.
Why? Because the trust and mutual respect that was the foundation of our marriage has now crumbled, and when the foundation crubmbles, everything else around it collapses.

 

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Well since I have never been with an abuser or been ditched (in fact have been treated better than I deserve, considering my moodiness), I'll stick to my behaviour. I have never hated anyone, or been uncomfortable to meet them after I broke up, I'm that kind of person.

You appear very immature to me. But I suppose everyone is free to have their own ideas.

 

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All right, I can sense you're all dying for my two cents here. As usual, my paranoia (if you care to call it that) will not disappoint.

I don't see a single problem with what she wants to do; and if there were any way to help, I would.

What we have here is a tradeoff in time, energy and availability. Six years is a long time and time isn't cheap. She can't go into a wedding with her bloody eyes closed. The boyfriend's behaviour is dead straight suspicious; turning off the phone while he's in the bathroom or the shower is very suspicious to my mind. And there's not a thing wrong with her investigating him; if you saw your girlfriend carrying body-part-shaped garbage-bag wraps out to the dumpster, don't you think it would be a good idea to ask? And if she smiled sweetly and told you everything was fine, don't you think it would still be a good idea to look and see for sure? She can't just walk away on the basis of suspicions; she's got six years invested in this guy. She needs to know. I'm sure I'd be damned suspicious too.

I would suggest she set up a keylogger on her home system, turn the boyfriend on and take a nice long shower or a walk while leaving your browser open and see if he bites. Give him space to check the email and the security to think he's safe in doing so. And if tricks fail (and for fuck's sake don't admit to them) just tearfully tell him you want to check his email and his phone and that you know the ex has contacted him and that you're so scared and nervous and that it would make you feel better to know. Because it would. If he refuses to let you into them...well, maybe he's just standing on his honour, but tell him about the change you've seen in his behaviour and how it makes you fear the worst. If he has some stuff on there, listen to him fairly and openly and see if he can explain it. That's the best you can do. Explain to him how important he is to your life and how you want this to work, but that you have to protect the things you love. If he refuses, don't go into the marriage. Can't take the chance; this is the happiness of the rest of your life. Your life. Yours, no one else's.

Anyway, it's too important not to know now. If it comes to the point you have to bring the whole mess to a screeching halt, do it. If he loves you, he'll forgive you and understand why you had to look. If not, then there you are. Take a good, strong hold on your life, because it's the only one you have. You may be right, you may be wrong, but make sure you're content with what you know. And be prepared for the possibility that you may not be successful in finding out. DON'T PANIC. Just take your battles one day at a time and be content that you did the best you could; that you were as good and strong a human as you could be. No one needs a better marker than that.

Best of luck to you.

 

Why not START with the honesty, rather than using it as a last resort if the tricks and deciet fail?

 

Geoffp
She can't just walk away on the basis of suspicions; she's got six years invested in this guy. She needs to know. I'm sure I'd be damned suspicious too.

I totally agree!




I have never been "ditched' either, I did the tossing. BUT never say never SAM.....maybe if it was happening to you, you may think differently some day.
You won't be so calm about it.

 

I strongly agree. I'm guessing after 6 yrs it feel would feel more like a divorce than breaking up.

 

Thats what she is doing? Finding out if she should enter this marriage.
Based on his strange behaviour suddenly she just wants to get down to the truth,
so she doesn't make a mistake. She already asked the guy......he COULD be lying.
Cheaters do LIE. I don't see the harm in her investigating this further. Then she will
find out either way if she should proceed. Sounds like she trusted him until he started
what she thinks is acting strange.

If I was Cheating (which I am not) and neitzche suspected and followed me around,
or read my emails or whatever creative thing he came up with. IF he found out
I really was cheating........Then he had every right to find me out. Do you think
I am going to say.....WHAT THE FUK you hacked into my computer, YOU HAD no right
you invaded my privacy........come on! I would deserve everything I got!

Now lets say I was acting weird and I wasn't cheating but he did that anyway.
If I found out, I would tell him he was nuts, be a bit pissed and prob laugh it off.
I mean what do I really care if I had nothing to hide. I wouldn't throw him to the curb for that. (after a 5 yr relationship)
There are ALOT worse things somebody could do to you.

 

Maybe she's the one acting strange.. I don't know..

 

true...maybe this is all a made up story......who the hell knows.
Only the 2 of them know what is strange behaviour between them.
It's easy for everybody here to make suggestions, they aren't in
the situation.

I am just trying to say what I would do in the same situation.
I still think there are more ppl then just GEOFFP and myself
who would check it out further.

 

Yes, like betray you when you're not expecting it. Stabbing someone in their back without good reasons isn't a plesent experiance, I know, it was done to me. That's why you can NEVER be to carefull in TODAYS world for even your best friends will turn out to be your worse enemies.

 

You know, the greater majority of the time, we don't have the feelings for no reason, and some times we need to be brave enough to know when to trust these feelings.

 

Funny, I even give my bf my email passwd, because I'm afraid I will lost it

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I don't know my bf's email passwd though. However, in the morning I used to
sit on his lap and have my coffee while he is replying tons of email (I dont sit
on his lap anymore because now I am a muslim and many things must
changed).

Sometimes there are emails from girls, including a girl in my class who used to
try to seduce him (do you want to have dinner with me, etc). Me and that
girl are MSc students while my bf is a PhD student, we all studying in same
campus. One day when she invited him for dinner again, I told him to go, its
very impolite to always refuse. So he went to fulfill the invitation but he
come back very soon. I asked him, why so fast? He replied, he went there
and told the girl, " I come here just to say hi and bye"

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Once he told me, he could not cheat me because I'm innocent (duh!), but he
said if he will ever 'cheat', he will told me (means he will not cheat behind me).

I think that you don't need to crack his email passwd etc, it will just give you
and him unnecessary stress. Just tell him honestly all you feel and all you
worry about and see whether he could help you (for sure he will! Otherwise,
why would he marry you?

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).

 

''(I dont sit
on his lap anymore because now I am a muslim and many things must
changed).''

... I need to ask this... Forgive me if i sound crude, but is this because of authority, you cannot be using your man as a stool? Does the same principle apply in the bed? ? ?

 

Hee, no, its not like that

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as a Moslem, I am not allowed to be in intimate contact with man who is not
my spouse. Everything is a bit difficult, but I've been told to do things step
by step, I don't have to change everything at once.

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I don't even know the password to my husband's computer, let alone his email. I don't go through his vehicle, I don't look in his wallet, etc.
I don't think he has anything to hide, I just think people need privacy and there are boundaries.

 

Well, you must must be quite comfortable then.

 

Why would you do that, if you think he doesn't have anything to hide.
But what if suddenly he starts acting weird, maybe you get hang up
calls at home when you answer, he starts having to work late. He is secretly going on the computer or his phone late at night etc.

Then what? Yes I know you would ask him. What if it still continued
and his answers were flaky..you wouldn't do a little snooping around?

 

I beg of you, please don't revert to cultural stereotypes of your religion.

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Heh, nothing wrong with sitting in your bf's lap

 

Btw, I have just remember, once I leave my sciforums login passwd to Oli, but
that passwd was too long so I changed it. Before I change it, I told Oli that I
will change it. He said, he never even try to login with my old passwd, duh!

Do you guys believe what Oli says? :shh: If not, maybe sometimes its me
writing under my name, another time maybe it is Oli

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I hope I won't forget my new passwd though, otherwise I will have to start
from 0 post again which happened once *sigh*

regards,
Oli