Discussion in 'Computer Science & Culture' started by sonicgirl, Sep 26, 2007.
You will have to keep us posted! for your sake I hope you are wrong.
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Ok. I have told him that I find his behaviour with his phone strange, but he said he just doesnt want to miss important calls. I might have a more serious conversation with him about it though & tell him its really doing my head in
so you want control of his email and his phone calls?
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I second everything Mike just said.
Don't beat around the bush........
Do what I do, just come right out and say it.....
Ask him questions about the phone and stuff, everything you have told us.
Tell him its really bugging you and seems odd. Tell him you are suspicious
that something is up.....Ask if you could see his emails to put your mind at rest. I don't see why he wouldn't unless there is something he doesn't want you to see. Afterall you are getting married right?
And if it sounds like crap say just that.......Oh come on you are full of shit!!
You should just get into it now, instead of later!
If you plan on living your life with this man, you need to be able to trust him and also have some faith in him. My experience has been that men always appreciate directness; they also don't assign the same importance to all the "female flights of fancy". Besides if you did check his emails and he found out, he may never trust you, either.
All the best. Soften him up a little. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
I dont want 'control' of his email or phone
I find it odd that hes so cagey
He can check my mails and phone whenever he wants, I dont care, Im not hiding anything
Is it not weird behaviour, to have a 5 min shower, switch phone off then switch back on when out of shower??
He used to just leave phone wherever, in the kitchen, whatever, now its always off when its not on his person
My uncle suspected his wife of cheating on him, so he asked his friend who knows computers to check it out. He found several deleted e-mails from the wife to a boyfriend. They got divorced.
So, go find a computer geek.
Everything I put in bold you should ask him about. Something like,
"dude, you are acting cagey. I find it wierd you are all of a sudden turning your phone off for five minutes when you get in the shower. You used to leave it wherever. I sense something is wrong and if there's something you need to tell me, then please tell me. We have to be honest and communicate or else this relationship isn't going to work."
Has any behavior changed aside from the phone thing?
And I bet the wife STILL got most of the shit, alimony and the kids too.
Ok, thanks everyone
I have to go now but will update
dont be mad at me if Ive installed a keylogger :bugeye: I will do so if all else fails
It will be a last resort, seriously, I mean Id have to have no other option left to do that :bugeye:
Hopefully it wont come to that
I am scared that if I do check up, then I might find something bad
but I dont want to marry a cheater :bawl:
thanks guys, bye for now
also if anyone knows of a computer geek, or where to find one, please PM me...
ha ha ha.Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
I've had people crack into my account,,fortunately theres not much of any interest in there even so its totally against the grain in my book...........worse than reading someones secret diary or nexts doors mail.
Its a Pandoras Box.
And moreover you..if you have a conscience will have to live with it.
I shoud add that it went much further with the person sensing rather nasty emails out of pure vindictiveness, one of my friends was seriously ill with leaukaemia...he knew it wasnt me but despite HIS problems took the time to warn me what was going on.
How about turning his phone back on when he's in the shower?
How about "borrowing" his phone and checking the call history?
Personally I hate it when you go to the loo, have a shower or otherwise indisposed and your phone rings. There is no way you can answer in the time people expect and there is no way I'm having people hear me squeeze a few toblerone's out (especially in an echoy bathroom).
This means I'm likely to turn the phone off, just so they don't bother me when I'm indisposed. They know they can't get through, they aren't forced onto call forwarding or use the voicemail (which can cost for Pay as you go).
Mikes right, in any working relationship you need openness and honesty.
As mentioned by most of us, cracking or keylogging isn't the way to go. It would just cause more problems than it fixes.
Voicemail - who the hell expects you to answer the phone when you take a shit?
If you want to go the whole hog down the snooping road, hire a private investigator.
This is pathetic.
I have to echo everything that Sam and mike said.
If I read this thread, I would dump my girlfriend.
What it really comes down to is that you don't trust him.
Why would you want to be with someone you do not trust?
Why do you need "proof"?
I would not be with someone I do not trust - and I would never trust someone who would spy on me.
You suspect he is cheating on you, you confronted him and don't believe his answer.
Either you are very insecure and will never trust anyone in a relationship (in wchich case you seriously need to work on your issues), or you will never trust him (in which case you need to head for the hills).
Do you really think that once you check his email, all will be fine and dandy?
What about the next time he has to work late?
The next time he smells like women's perfume?
The next time he has to go on a business trip and doesn't call you by 10 PM like he said he would?
It really comes down to a simple question...
Do you trust him?
If so, believe him and put your own insecurities aside.
If not, leave him, regardless of whether or not you have "proof" and your petty righteous indignation.
People that don't know you are taking one?
Although it would make an interesting addition to the phone networks, the computerised voice synthesising the preformatted text for an away message of:
"Phone back later, I'm taking a dump"
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