I was wondering where she was off to. Hadn't seen her posting here much lately. It's a very abstract and almost narcisstic mindset this being good and kind because you believe it's God's will. It's like going to a party and agreeing before hand to treat some person you dislike nicely and compassionately. It comes off as fake and is ultimately very patronizing to that person. They aren't real people afterall--just props in your little self-drama of being a righteous and holy person. The REAL way of being good and compassionate is by relating to and understanding people, NOT by pigeonholing them into judgemental stereotypes in our own minds. Religion is all about stereotyping people as types--the addict, the drunk, the womanizer, the queer, the reprobate, the slut, the rebellious atheist, the devil worshipper, etc. It's not an authentic contact with the complex multidimensional self everyone really is. It's the difference between doin something because it's someone else's will or your own will. It's being something you're not just to score points with God, essentially rewarding only the ability to do what you don't want to do. As Paul himself summed up this dysfunctional schizoid conundrum so well: Romans 7: 14 "We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. 21 So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22 For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23 but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? 25 Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin." Exactly. It is the practiced art of conforming to someone else's ideal instead of just being yourself. A kind of constant self-editing of your thoughts and actions into a G rated version of yourself, all the while repressing your own deep needs for self-fulfillment and pride and creative experimentation. This subjugation and invalidation of your own desires and thoughts eventually builds resentment and bitterness against those you see getting away with it. If moments of real empathy and spontaneous compassion come thru, it is more despite this regimen of performing for an audience than because of it.