Do you think swinging is an acceptable lifestyle?

yea yea

Whatever man, then what's your view of love? I'm not brainwashed at all, I take the best view with my open mind...

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So you say...

 

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Chosen:
First of all, what do you believe about marriage? I am thankful that my catholic background has formed a good understanding of marriage.

That explains a lot, but you've basically admitted to having been brainwashed into your current veiws.

But in a respectful and loving relationship, you must always respect your partner.

Ah! But how is sleeping with somone else disrespectful, if your partner knows about it?

Say, you and I are married, we tell each other we love each other (of course you do sexy ), hehe but anyway, then you or I, simple cheat on each other when the chance is given...you think that is love or what? I *hope* not Xev...

Who says it isn't? It would not be my preference for a relationship, but it could well be love for somone else.

 

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Re: yea yea

If you follow the Catholic religion or Cult, you are brainwashed. I was raised "Catholic" I know of what I speak. Any religion that claims they are "The one true religion of god" are closed minded by default. Some former catholic's even claim abuse from the religion. Not from the Priest's, but from the faith's teachings.

 

To the three stooges....

Wow, I've been told I've been brainwashed. You atheists are just way too much, I mean just because I mention the word *Catholic* you all go negative

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How great, I will never become an atheist again with that attitude.

Anyway, so am I wrong? Since I've been supposedly "brainwashed"?

What the hell is YOUR views on love? Answer the question.

I thought you were more mature than that Xev, would it be respectful if the partner did not approve of it?

So sleeping with someone else is not disrespectful when your partner finds out and knows about it? I hope you aren't saying that.

Yes, I respect others' views and will not say they are wrong and I'm right.

However, I will voice my convictions on the matter.

Now, what is your conviction of love?

How great, more negativism.

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But anyway, I'm not a Catholic and I no longer follow the "cult" or whatever.

Answer the question, what are your views on the matter then?

And to an extent, everyone is brainwashed by society and how they are raise and what they experience.

 

Of what? Love? Dunno.. take it as it comes... why, should I be doing otherwise?

 

I put the GRRRRR in swingrrr, baby!!!

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What's your conviction of love? No definition?

 

Chosen:

Actually, Squid referred to me in that sense as well.

The difference being that I know what happened to me. You do not.

It's not about religion. Nobody with an IQ above lukewarm would assume that so, like, don't show yourself as having an IQ above lukewarm.

THANK YOU JESUS!

Seriously man, do you think we care?

There is no objective right or wrong. However, you have made all sorts of blanket statements without a shred of supporting evidence.

I think it's high time that you show this evidence.

You asked Squid, not I, if memory serves. However, since you are asking so politely (yes, that's sarcasm) - actually because I feel like pontificating:

Love is an emotion, like any other. However, there is a certain sort of person - most unnatural in an age like this, most unnatural in any age - who will love more deeply than is normal.

For such a person, love is an agony as well as a joy.

 

have you seen my thread Marriage: Good or Bad in free thoughts?

 

I think it's funny and sad when people get brainwashed.
Like one of my moms friends was the most unreligious person I ever met until about a year ago when she became a "crazy" christian. the only explanation she had for why she is like that now is she "found god". Man people have weak minds

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More "geekiness" Xev?

I know what happened, but that is not brainwashing to me. Brainwashing occurs when you are instilled one idea and you refuse to accept other ideas without even listening and considering them. To me that is brainwashed.

My Catholic background had little to do, actually my parents had more to do with it.

To name a few...honesty, respect, trust, caring, communication, happiness, pleasure, etc. - That's what love is about to me, how about you?

I didn't say it was all about religion. I said my Catholic background has given me a good understanding of marriage. That's all the information I gave, and immediately derogatory terms are introduced without a good basis.

Is the little geek getting frustrated?

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Sorry, I forgot I'm in the land of the sciforums.com and if I base my opinion it isn't worth anything unless it is throughly researched and experimented...

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I mean come on Xev, I know it is an emotion and all that scientific crap.

But what is love about to you? Honesty? Trust? Pleasure? What?

We are talking in a monogamous sense here, dedicated sense.

That's great, but what is love about?

*Just* an emotion? What do you think it is a set of?

 

Every time I've been in love, its been different than the time before. You want a definition? Go read Mills and Boon. It's not my definition, but it's there if you seriously need one.

If you're talking about universal love, then probably go ask someone else... I don't believe in it. Some people shit me, I dont love them. I don't love serial killers, thieves, or the bloody suicide bombers. I dont love crooked cops, politicians, lawyers, businessmen, or the poor. Dont really love the middle classes either. I dont love people who think they know all there is to know, and I dont love the ones who think they know nothing.

I dont love many people at all really... So go ask someone else.

 

Eloquent, Squid.

Chosen:

For a man who claims to be such an expert on the art of getting laid, you have a lot of nerve to claim to be a romantic, one with a "good understanding" of love and marriage.

What is love? Chemically, it seems to involve both an increase in the re-uptake of dopamine, serotoin and norephenephrin and production (?) of oxytocin.

"honesty, respect, trust, caring, communication, happiness, pleasure, etc."

You think that's love? Gimme a fucking break. I feel those things with my friends, yet I do not love them romantically.

You can attempt to spiritualize love, you can attempt a feeling of "only the truely great can love", you can do whatever - it won't change the fact that you're simply the slave of whatever little neurochemicals are buzzing about your brain.

Further reading:

http://www.altruisticlove.org/docs/insel.html

http://abcnews.go.com/sections/science/DailyNews/love000707.html

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/index.shtml

 

Xev

I never said I was an expert.

Who said one that sleeps around with many women isn't looking for love?

Hah! You have a definition of what love is ABOUT...so fill me in Xev.

Of course you know what love is, but what do you think it is about?

I agree with all the scientific information.

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BUt I'm asking your conviction and opinion on this matter.

You see, do you think a women is in love when she won't leave a man that constantly beats the crap out of her and cheats on her?

Her reason to stay with him is: It's because I love him!

Is that love or what?

Yes, that is what I think. Love is like a friendship on fire. In long term relatioships, friendship is a very important aspect, that's if you had any long term relationships at all Xev.

I have high standards on women and who I fall in love with. I won't fall in love with a woman that *just* good in bed or one that is *just* kind. She must have all traits and emotions that I describe.

If she is not honest, I will not love her, same goes for not being kind, caring, respectful, etc.

I'm not attempting to spiritualize love at all. According to my conviction, only the special and dedicated can actually love. If your definition of what love is about is different, then by all means, you follow your own convictions.

No on is wrong in this manner.

I'm a slave now? LoL, because of such high standards and emphasis on love, I won't fall for the wrong woman...

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Answer these simple questions Xev:

1. Is love about respect to you?
2. Is love about honesty to you?
3. Is love about commitment to you?
4. Is love about kindness and compassion to you?

I could ask you more, but everyone has their definition and opinions of what love is about, not what it is.

If some think love is about sex, then by all means, that's their conviction.

So what's yours?

You amuse me sometimes...

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Squid:

You're off, universal love? WTF?? You can answer those questions also. What is love about?

 

I started to post in this thread once before and the power went out before the post registered. Shit happens...

Anyway, if you want one lady enough to marry her, stay with her. After all that is what marriage is for. If you want to play the field then don't marry. If you are playing around, or swinging, there stands a good chance that complications will arise.

Now I don't know about the rest of you but I am not into one night stands. You never know what you get yourself into in this. Most of the time, everything is cool, you get up and go your separate ways. End of story.

Not always is what is seen really what is. I have known the occasional "oops" to occur to people. I could tell some stories of good friends who thought that was cool. One is dead. Another spent some time with the doctor on a regular basis (before safe sex was a byword). Several were in a hurry to be gone quickly.

There is more. There is the emotional side. What happens when the grass looks greener? (It seldom is) When one partner thinks that they have found what they sought in someone else? This happens quite often. Often enough that it should be considered. I form an emotional attachment to who I am with. If I and my partner invest emotional feelings I am not willing to lose that several years down the road. Nor do I want to take the chance or pass around any sexually transmitted diseases. The chances of getting STD's increase with the increase in different partners.

No, I am happy where I am. Thank you...

I will note that this is my personal choice. It is what I believe and what I live. I will not condemn someone esle for living such a lifestyle but it is not for me.

 

Hahaha, yes I know

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Eloquently said Wet1 and I agree with you.

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It's what people believe in. Everyone has different beliefs. And how we grew up to believe it. Most of us, I assume, have grown up to believe in love, marriage, a deep connection with a special partner. But with swaping, it goes against your belief (assuming you grew up that way), so therefore your belief may change. It may seem wrong to some of swaping, but it is all in what one believes and how one was raised.

As for me, in marriage, I would assumely fall in love, serious type, and not go for swapping. UNless I was in a playful marriage.

But in love, I believe it's natural, or ok, to say "oh, I would fuck her, she's hot, but I love my girl so I can't do that."

To me, love is something you want to believe in, because it feels good. That is what I believe I learned in life.

Why do people fall in love even if others abuse them? And treat them wrong? It is because they believe in making the person better and to better themselves. You notice how people in love, it's hard for them to give up They believe in a better life they can make, I hope you understand where I am going. As in saying,"I'm just a guy who loved the woman you're supposed to be."

Personally I don't believe in giving consent to my girl to go fuck someone else. It's disrespectful, it's like not giving a crap about you and your relationship. But it would have to be my girl, if it is just some fling for some fun, that's fine with me

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. Prbly won't see her again or other reasons, not marriage material.

But sooner or later people begin to believe in a deeper love, to never be lonely and to sepnd a life with someone you really care about. Sounds good? Well it does to moi!

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OK for others, maybe in for the fun, or their view on love to have many partners, but what if one is alone in the end? Or maybe if your partners all stay together till the end, then that is fine, WHICHEVER scenario, as long as you are happy in life.

Why do people say that they can't explain love???

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Ever wonder why? I hope people agree with my opinion on this matter, love is what the person believes it to be , therefore you can't come up with a universal definition for it Squid, btw stop arguing over what all you people think or calling it brainwashing or whatever!!!

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It is solely up to you to know completely what love is, to you in your life. I side with Chosen's view, because I believe in that kind of love or special connection at that level, however I view it, and I believe it could make me maybe the happiest person in the world, all because I believe in that kind of love and I hope I will find it someday. Of course there are complications and arguements, blah blah, my believe in love is not the perfect one, but the better you want/believe in something, the better it is right??

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Just so it makes my life happy...

That is why it is what you believe it is. Therefore the defintion of love is in you, your 'heart.' Just as God, either you believe in Him in this way, that way, or you don't. :bugeye:

 

Dark Master

Exactly, but the scientific definition of it is the "absolute" (not really but you get the point right?)

From there on, humans are highly evolved, love creates much more meaning...

As my quote says: The grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

What is love about? We all have our convictioins on this matter.

 

Here is an example of an occasional "oops" that happened to a good friend. You would have to know this guy for it to all fall together but I will try.

I am not so sure this really belongs in this thread but short of starting a new thread to tell it seems the most obvious.

My friend found a lady who was interested in him. She was a looker. A fine looking gal. So one night they decide to spend the night together. Afterwards, he found out she was married and her husband was in service and out of the country. So days and nights of this continued.

One morning, he came to work with this big cast on his thumb. Naturally being curious, I asked. It seems he was sleeping when the family cat decided to check him out. It walked over his face. This shocked him out of sleep and the first reaction was to grab whatever it was on his face and sling it off. (It was dark, naturally, so he could not see) In the "follow through" of the throw, his thumb went into a metal fan and cut his thumb severally. So it was get up and go to the hospital to fix the cut and broken thumb.

To end the story, he and the lady eventaully got married. The former husband never knew why, as far as I know.