Do you think swinging is an acceptable lifestyle?

It doesnt only pertain to monogamy Xev... this is but one symptom.

Anyone who cares to think about things a little comes to the realisation sooner or later... if they've got the guts.

Still looking around for evidence of rain arent ya

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Squid:

"Anyone who cares to think about things a little comes to the realisation sooner or later... if they've got the guts."

What, that values are socially imposed?

Duuuuuuh.

 

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I've had this argument before Xev.. I'm not going into it again. suffice to say, you know intellectually this is the case... but you dont BELIEVE it. If you did, you'd see how silly monogamy is, among a host of other things. You appear to be a reasonably bright girl, but you havent the courage of your own convictions, have you?

 

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Squid:

You don't know me, I don't know you, so it would likely be best not to assume things about my emotional state, ja?

It's a simple matter of resources. Most males do not have the resources to support me, my children, and the children of another woman. Even if they did, my chances of reproductive sucess are still maximized by having such a man to myself.

Thus I am naturally monogamous.

Does this mean I have no desire to cheat? Hell no. I do - I maximize reproductive sucess by cheating, but doing so on the sly.

Simple evolutionary psychology.

Is monogamy silly? Yes, for you, because you're male. Your reproductive sucess is maximized when you impregnate as many women as possible. But not really for me.

(As an aside, this all has bearing on the way men and women typically pursue power - females will attempt to dominate the home in order to ensure that its resources are directed to her and her children. And males will attempt to dominate a larger territory in order to control more resources)

 

hmmm

Only special people who believe in monogamy are able to pull it off. This is where "true love" or "real love" enter the picture.

The rest are weak hearted, uncommited, and a slave to their desires. Most people are not monogamous, many people cheat, have affairs, etc.

That is why the people that remain true to monogamy are truly the special and unique individuals, I applaud them for it takes much love and devotion to pull it off.

 

See Squid? There's social brainwashing talking.

I don't doubt that my being "naturally monogamous" is socially conditioned. However, it also makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint.

*Smiles wryly*

I am more a slave to my more primitive urges than I am to society.

 

Maybe he'll figure out there is more to life than just sex...as I figured out...

There is a reason why people say, "believe in love"

I say it is a safe belief to exploit, no extremely desperate needy and clingy crap though.

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Infatuation and love are two different things...

 

Chosen:

Kindly show where Squid posted that all there is to life is sex.

Coming from you, Don Juan, such criticism is a bit much.

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"Only special people who believe in monogamy are able to pull it off. This is where "true love" or "real love" enter the picture."

Why the equation of monogamy and "true love"?

 

haha

Well, ok ok, he said monogamy was silly...so I assumed, he can shoot me down for it later, if I'm wrong

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Monogamy is a very serious thing. Look at the sky-rocketing divorce rates.

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Most people don't understand and know what love is.

Love is a conglomeration of a variety of other emotions. To name a few would be trust, respect, caring, communication, happiness, pleasure, etc.

You don't have one of those, it's not love.

Take this example, idiots go around saying..."I love my gf, but I saw this one hot-chick and I want to fuck the hell out of her."

The dating world is for weeding out potential mates and making your decision.

In the LTR (Long term relationship) world, you start to build a special kind of friendship, you are taking a chance with this person.

Now, it isn't respectful to fuck around with someone you love, to think about others while you are supposedly "in love" with another. True love is shared by the few, the proud, and the special amount of individuals. It takes alot of faith in one another to pull it off. It's a big risk also on the amount of faith and trust you put on the other, one person fucks up it's simply over.

Imagine buying gifts for your loved one, taking care of them while they are sick, making a big fancy dinner, etc. etc.

On a simple first date, this would be chump behavior (infatuation), people make the mistake of "loopholing" the idea of attraction and attachment. I could elaborate on the whole loophole idea but....to lazy

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Chosen:

We realize that this is emotionally based, ja?

Now where do those emotions come from? Social conditioning.

"Monogamy is a very serious thing. Look at the sky-rocketing divorce rates. "

Why are those a bad thing?

Besides, if we did not have marriage, we would not have divorce, ja? And, for those who have not heard my ranting on marriage, I think that it is a rather asinine institution.

"Take this example, idiots go around saying..."I love my gf, but I saw this one hot-chick and I want to fuck the hell out of her.""

Why is that idiotic? Makes sense, evolutionarily.

"Now, it isn't respectful to fuck around with someone you love, to think about others while you are supposedly "in love" with another."

There's the rub:

Where'd you get your idea of "respectful"?

 

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Why are you abbreviating a lot of things that are not important? You abbreviating things because your use it over and over like TV, VCR, PC, MBA.... Long term relationship is not something we use over and over. Just spell it out.

Xev,

I don't exactly know how serious you are about marriage. I hope you are as serious as when you say you decided to be celibate. If everyone think that way we won't have any nucleus families left. Did you grow up in a nucleus family? BTW, I like your avatar

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Yea you could say that. Personally those that don't find real love, are totally missing out.

The average person falls in real love, once in his/her lifetime.

People can't commit, and are blind.

No it is not, it is for the dedicated and committed, the people that actually love each other (not for money reasons, comfortabliity, etc.)

That is idiotic, where is the respect for your "loved-one" I'm talking about the guy actually having a chance to fuck another. Not looking at Heidi Klum or whatever.

Ask yourself, would that be respectful? or what?

Many dont understand what love is, they think it is a "high of nature" etc. etc. I pity them...

 

Hello.

Do I think swinging is an acceptable lifestyle?

For me or other like-minded people? No. Not at all.

For some other people? Yes, but only if both parties in the relationship are truly like-minded.

Based on my life experience and 30+ years of marriage , I think it would be best if those considering swinging be made aware that, in general, swinging only works for people in shorter-term relationships. That is, if you are in a relationship that you are hoping will last a lifetime, then it would probably be best if you use variety of position, etc... in your sexual relationship with your partner and forget about swinging.

 

So, you're a slave more to biological than social conditioning. ummm... fair enough I suppose. I can't really comment on the female side of the issue, obviously. However, i still believe that the sooner society can get rid of all this dross the better off we'll all be.

 

why is it bad to pick one girl and stay with her?????????????

 

hey, you hacked my thoughts!!!!!

i dont belive in marriage.... coz you never know when things will end.

 

I would go berserk and annihilate the galaxy if I found out my wife was sleeping with another guy.

I would not mind at all if I found her sleeping with another woman, as long as she does not run off with her.

 

"I would go berserk and annihilate the galaxy if I found out my wife was sleeping with another guy."

*Backs slowly away from Zero*

Okay now, that's good, what asylum did you escape from?

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Chosen:

You stil haven't given any logical reasons.

Squid: I agree.

 

Xev-xev

First of all, what do you believe about marriage? I am thankful that my catholic background has formed a good understanding of marriage.

There are logical reasons, all self-explanatory.

If you marry, it's a commitment, or else why marry? You don't see my viewpoint.

I also see another outlook, in which people marry for the sole purpose of tax benefits, economic stability, etc. - that's completely understandable.

But in a respectful and loving relationship, you must always respect your partner.

Say, you and I are married, we tell each other we love each other (of course you do sexy

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), hehe but anyway, then you or I, simple cheat on each other when the chance is given...you think that is love or what? I *hope* not Xev...

If you do, then your conviction of love is totally different from mine...and i would pity that, but you aren't wrong

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Aaah... a Catholic background. That explains your level of social brainwashing Chosen.