Date Someone With Kids?

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by darksidZz, Aug 15, 2010.

?

Answer

Poll closed Sep 4, 2010.
  1. Yes

    40.0%
  2. No

    10.0%
  3. Unsure

    50.0%
  4. I have kids

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. darksidZz Valued Senior Member

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  3. Dywyddyr Penguinaciously duckalicious. Valued Senior Member

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    My answer was: unsure.
    It all really depends on how her husband felt about it (or if he knew about it).

    It also depends on what I was planning for the date doesn't it?
    Some places won't allow kids in under a certain age.
    (Cue skewed reference to the old Naked Gun joke: Married 3 children. That didn't work out so he married a grown woman the next time).
     
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  5. ExplorerAtHeart Registered Member

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    I voted Unsure. Its situational and depends if I really like her. I wont date just to date ^^
     
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  7. cosmictraveler Be kind to yourself always. Valued Senior Member

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    Why not? :shrug:

    I mean if you enjoy someones company and get along fine them what's wrong with a child that they may have? Now if the child doesn't like you and you don't like them , then you should either leave the realtionship or try harder in getting along with them. It really boils down to what you can handle in your lifestyle.
     
  8. cluelusshusbund + Public Dilemma + Valued Senior Member

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    2 diferent women... one for 6 mounthes an the other for a year.!!!
     
  9. keith1 Guest

    Be neutral and unassuming. The child is more concerned about being left out and abandoned, then the normal assumption that you might be a possible future parent replacement. If parent approves, treat the child with an inexpensive trinket toy, and with nutritional evening pocket snacks (non-sugar, so as not to disrupt the child's early bedtime call). The evenings young.
     
  10. Dywyddyr Penguinaciously duckalicious. Valued Senior Member

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    You mean I was in the wrong to buy my g/f's son and daughter a couple of pints each and stay out at the heavy metal gig til 2 AM with them?
     
  11. domesticated om Stickler for details Valued Senior Member

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    3,277
    In 97% of the circumstances - no
    3% - if she's really really REALLY hot


    Having a kid means all kinds of possible dating headaches - even for casual dating.
    "Can't go out tonight due to no babysitter"
    "Can't stay at my place - gotta go home"
    "Can't get busy - child is around"
    "Can't go to the bar and get sloshed - gotta come home reasonably sober"
    "Can't be wild....."
    "must be responsible.."

    etc etc
     
  12. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    12,140
    I think it shows a big commitment and love by a person that takes on another person's kids just to be with you.
     
  13. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    25,817
    I dated 1 man with a child. I knew after a year that there was no way I could continue dating him. I could not be a good step-mother to that girl and I knew it. She was spoiled, rude, immature, etc and I didn't want to be the one continually on her about it.

    After my divorce I dated men who I knew were being nice to my son simply to date me. None of them lasted beyond a few dates. My husband was one of a few who truly liked my son. Smart women can tell.
     
  14. superstring01 Moderator

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    I hate children. I'd never date anybody with kids under the age of 18 and/or still living at home.

    ~String
     
  15. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    even if he doesn't have custody of them?
     
  16. shorty_37 Go! Canada Go! Registered Senior Member

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    12,140
    How can you generalize and say you hate all children? :bugeye:

    I know there are some kids I see that I would love to give a good smack and their parents too, but some kids are actually pretty cool and are fun to be around.
     
  17. superstring01 Moderator

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    12,110
    I don't like children. Period. Don't confuse my distaste for a wish of harm or suffering. On the contrary, I hold parents in high regard ('specially the good ones) and I hope that kids have the same upbringing I did; in comfortable surroundings with a loving family.

    Hate's a strong word.

    My bad.

    I dislike spending time with any children. Ever. I have 15 nieces and nephews and there isn't one that I would chose to be around for more than a few seconds. I have a standing rule when it comes to family emergencies: "Pretend I'm dead if you are in a position that you need me to babysit. I won't do it." And I never have.

    I've been an adult now for 17 years and I've not held a single baby--not once. Not changed a diaper. Not warmed a bottle or played peak-a-boo. I don't enjoy it. Trust me, with my patience level with kids, you really don't want me around them more than an hour and on my part, I get massive headaches--usually in 30 minutes or less--when I'm in the company of kids.

    I always get looks (or comments) of scorn from parents (or those who adore kids) when I say this because they can't imagine life without kids. Which is certainly their choice. Personally, I'd be okay with a continent with no children, to which you can only immigrate once you turn 22.

    And that's certainly your right. I still don't like them.

    I have ONE niece who, on occasion, amuses me and that's for about thirty seconds. She talks to me about alien abductions and the books she reads on the subject. She's 11 years old and is pretty brilliant for her age. Weird, but brilliant. So I make sure to pretend she's over 18, which seems to work for the two of us.

    This issue is all me. Really. I know it is and I certainly don't expect people to accommodate my draconian rules and preferences. This is why I live with my boyfriend--in my own home sans kids--and have my own car into which kids have never sat (I don't want spilled shit on the seats). Wherever there are kids, I am sure to be gone pretty quickly. Family reunions? Yep. One hour maximum. Weddings? Funerals? Birthdays? Same rule. No kids.

    And don't jump to any conclusions about me being prickish about it. I'm not rude or nasty to kids. They're humans too. I have a great deal of respect for kids and parents, because the species would be doomed if everybody were like me. I don't treat kids with disrespect or negativity. I was a kids once (and a rotten one to boot!), so I know what it's like to be treated like shit by adults. I hated it then, so I won't be one of those mean grown-ups now. It's why I call all kids "sir" or "ma'am" if I don't know them. Furthermore, kids aren't allowed to call me "Mr." and I refuse to allow my nieces or nephews call me anything but "Dan" (no "uncle" this or that allowed). I just pretend they are grown-ups. I don't lower the intellectual caber or raise the pitch of my voice to talk at their level (not that all adults do this, but you'd be surprised how much this happens).

    All of this has the added effect of endearing me to them (it's not often kids get treated like adults). . . which has the added effect of reminding me why I don't hang with them so much. I swear, whenever there's a family event, they are drawn to me like flies to a light. My parents say it's because--deep down inside--I really like them. To which I say, "Rare with a side of Yorkshire pudding."

    Again. I respect kids and think that kids are, too often, regimented by society and especially the adults around them, who should be fighting the hardest to let them just be kids. But, the only way I can tolerate kids for very long would be to do just that: oppress and regiment them. So. . . I just avoid them.

    ~String
     
  18. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    25,817
    String, I feel the same way about dogs. And it really annoys me when I am forced to share space with them. Or that people judge me because I don't like them.
     
  19. SilentLi89 Registered Senior Member

    Messages:
    263
    It might depend on the age of the person you want to date doesn't it, most of the guys I've dated are around my age so they more often than not don't have children. But if I were to date someone that was say 40, I would expect them to be more likely to have children than not. But for me personally, I don't want to take on the responsibility of children belonging to someone else. I'm in a much to selfish stage in my life right now for that. Everyone I live with takes care of themselves (except for my puppy, but she'll be an adult soon enough)
     
  20. spidergoat Liddle' Dick Tater Valued Senior Member

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    53,966
    I like kids, just other people's kids. I wouldn't want some of my own. As far as dating someone with kids, sure, they grow up fast enough.
     
  21. visceral_instinct Monkey see, monkey denigrate Valued Senior Member

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    7,913
    If they agree to drown the kids, sure.

    On a serious note, no. I feel the same way as superstring. Kids are little humans and should be treated with care, but I personally don't like them and don't wish to spend time around them. After about 2 minutes I'm cranked up and aggressive and resisting the urge to drop them on their heads.
     
  22. spidergoat Liddle' Dick Tater Valued Senior Member

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    I also talk to them normally, they seem to appreciate it. I was 18 when my little brother was born, so I have some experience.
     
  23. SilentLi89 Registered Senior Member

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    263
    But I assume you'd only feel that way if the child was annoying. If you had watched after me when I was a child, you probably would have forgotten I was even in the room. I would have sat in a corner and colored in my coloring book without ever once speaking to you, unless you talked to me. And if I didn't have a coloring book or book to read I would just sit a look around the room. But I think I was an unusually well behaved child.
     

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