curses

Discussion in 'Art & Culture' started by sculptor, Mar 15, 2020.

  1. sculptor Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    7,028
    Does anyone here have entertaining curses that they would like to share?

    eg: When I was in the army, I ended up at Fort Ritchie in the operations company. We had a company clerk: Roberto Ramirez who was a brilliant wordsmith.
    He came up with many entertaining curses including this curse(which I treasure)
    " May the bleeding piles torment you
    and corns grow on your feet
    and crabs as big as roaches
    hang on your balls and eat
    and when all the world forsakes you
    and you're a total wreck
    may your head fall through your asshole
    and break your fucking neck"

    go Ram

    .................................
    anyone else?
     
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  3. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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    7,028
    C'mon guys
    you all have superior intellects
    surely you must know of at least one really good curse?
    please share
     
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  5. Stoniphi obscurely fossiliferous Valued Senior Member

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    I am still trying to get past "living in interesting times" as per the old Chinese curse.

    Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!

     
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  7. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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    When I first read:
    "May you live in interesting times"
    I had thought it an Irish blessing.
    Much later. I read that it was a curse associated with the "warring states" period.
    Considering the philosophies that came out of that period
    I remain confused.
     
  8. exchemist Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    9,893
    Well there's always: "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries".

    And: "You'll smoke a turd in Hell for this!" (from a very funny Canadian film I once saw in Dubai, in the 1980s)

    Oh and there was an expletive phrase in a humorous French gangster movie, in which at one point, when everything is going wrong, a character exclaims:"Je tourne en merde, je tourne en merde, je tourne en MERDE!!"
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2020
  9. sculptor Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    7,028
    Je tourne en merde

    translate please
    ..........
    I'm spinning in shit?
    I'm turning in shit?
    I'm turning into shit?
    or...................?
     
  10. sculptor Valued Senior Member

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    7,028
    jeez dad
    I was hoping that you could do better than that
    ......................
    A blossoming of the flower of the language?
     
    Last edited: Mar 17, 2020
  11. exchemist Valued Senior Member

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    9,893
    The first two, more or less.
     
  12. Sarkus Hippomonstrosesquippedalo phobe Valued Senior Member

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    8,808
    May your cup of tea be too hot when you get it, and too cold when you remember it’s there.

    May the chocolate chips in your cookies be of animal origin.

    May your seat make a farting noise... that you can’t repeat to prove it was the seat.

    May your avocados never ripen, and your bananas turn to mush.

    May all your beer turn to lager!
     
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  13. Jeeves Valued Senior Member

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    4,702
    From a long-forgotten novel: "May a thousand syphilitic camels spit in your cous-cous."
    A fine period reconstruction from Judy Collins (Anathea)
    and one of my uncles was very good at this. He had a long one involving an archangel in the top of a willow tree whistling up a whirlwind to carry the offending person off in a cloud of dust.
    I'm a lot simpler. I just wish they would grow a big red zit on the tip of their nose, so everyone can see.
     
  14. Bowser Namaste Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    8,828
    Art and Culture? Shouldn't this be in Free Thoughts? I would participate but the thread is in the wrong forum, which has spoiled the topic for me. Sorry.
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2020
  15. sculptor Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    7,028
    NO
    Read what Ram produced
    Is that not art?
    I submit that this is the best forum for that sort of "curse"
    ........................................
    get over yourself and contribute/participate
    (hopefully something brilliant, and artful
    I do not come here to suffer mediocracy.)
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2020
  16. Jeeves Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    4,702
    Would it be better in the form of a haiku :

    Wherever you hide,
    my curses will follow you
    and bring you to grief.

    or maybe a limerick?
     
  17. sculptor Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    7,028
    'Tis a rare gift indeed.
    what is in our plebe preview is simple appreciation.
    and
    maybe a memory or 2
     
  18. Bowser Namaste Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    8,828
    No, I can't go further while this thread is in Art & Culture. You ruined it for me.
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2020
  19. sculptor Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    7,028
    LOL

    ................
    gee darn
    ...................
    are you sure that that ain't just an excuse ?
     
  20. Bowser Namaste Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    8,828
    The thread belongs in Free Thoughts. Though curses can be creative, I've never seen them classified as an "Art Form."

    Nonetheless, the Sun is out and my mood is on a positive high, so I don't believe I can rally one, but for you I will try...

    ...
    ...
    ...

    Nope, It just isn't in me this morning.

    I'm gonna throw a blessing instead...
    May you receive..hmm... May you have... May your toiletry be well stocked with butt wipe during the corona crisis, and that your neighbors are never the wiser.
    Best wishes, Sculptor.
     

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