Corrupt-A-Wish

You can. You have a seizure from watching your own fingers move.

I wish for duct tape to shut my brother up.

 

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Granted...But now he's become telepathic, and no matter where you are, you can hear him.

I wish I had a new keyboard.

 

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Granted. My cat peed over it.

I wish I could afford that glisteny shockwave hair gel on a daily basis.

 

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Granted...But, the daily use causes all your hair to fall out...

I wish I didn't have to pay child support anymore.

 

Granted, paternity tests show they aren't yours after all.

I wish Brad Pitt wasn't so envious of my good looks.

 

Granted…but you lose your (larger than normal) male appendage.

Spoiler

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I wish that my personality wasn’t so perky.

 

granted ..but now you are brad pitt.(see above pic)

i wish the next post was #248.

 

Granted...#248, but you can't see it.

I wish that someone will be able to see this.

 

Granted. I see ya. *fires sniper rifle and laughs at the red splatter*

I wish I could afford that black top with the buckles...

 

Granted… but it’s a little snug.

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Straight Jacket

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I wish that had an easy solution to an age-old problem.

 

Granted, but your batteries are all dead.

I wish I had an age old problem.

 

granted..its called a machine gun..

i wish to be moderator of the religion forum..

 

Granted, but all the forum members take a vow of non-posting, leaving you with your finger up your butt.

I wish that I didn't get so tongue tied around a good looking women.

 

Granted…but your tongue is still tied up.

I wish that certain things that required batteries weren’t so loud.

 

granted but you soon find your wife utilizing such products without your knowledge...

I wish for chocolate

 

Granted...one chocolate turd coming right up.

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I wish that I didn't have a wife who utilized such products, but a man...instead.

 

granted..but when he shows up,he reads that post and his head explodes because of the confusion..


I wish i knew almost everything..

 

Granted he likes to fuck you in the anus with no lube.

I wish I didn't have the urge to start telling dead baby jokes when introduced to my neighbour's new baby.

 

Granted…but now you realize you’re not funny, or witty, and you’re sad.

I wish there were plenty of men who didn’t fantasize about the unholy hole.

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Granted ..... but now they all fantasize about fisting

I wish I had a libido I could switch on and off like a lightbulb so I didn't walk around every day fantasizing about naughty stuff at inappropriate times.