In your opinion how can parents make sure that their kids are both succesful and law abiding citizens ?.Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! . It is a well known fact that many parents have nightmares with their kids who do not listen to their parents and their teachers .Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! .
Treat them like an adult except for situations where it is strictly necessary to 'pull rank' and tell them what to do. That was my mum's approach, anyway. I was allowed to do what I liked unless it hurt others in any way. That worked fine. If she had squashed me, I would have rebelled for sure.
So how would do react if they hate school. are rude with the general public and are lazy for instance ?.
They should find out WHY they hate school. Are they being bullied? Are they finding it hard to fit in? Are they being taught the same crap over and over again? Ditto with rudeness/laziness. Find out why and deal with the cause. Did they act rude to that adult for no reason? Or did they just feel violated because that adult insisted on stroking their hair when they don't like being touched?
You do realize, don't you, that people have been trying to answer that exact same question for umpty-eleven gazillion years? ..and we're still asking the same question today? Doesn't that tell you anything? Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! There ain't no "right" answer. Just as all kids are different and all parents are different. What I've found that's interesting, if telling, is that many "child psychologist", who tell others how to raise their kids, can't even raise their own with any degree of success. Baron Max
If you can be as honest with them about everything, they should respect you much more. Treat them as young adults, not kids. They have to talk and they have allot to say so listen to them and give them GUIDANCE. Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
At what ages does all this wonderful idealistic "guidance" begin? I would also ask what the parents should do when the kids simply refuse to listen to the parental/adult "wisdom", and wants to go off to do something realy bad. Still treat them as young adults and let them go? The problem, as I've found, is when the idealism of this "truthful guidance bullshit" comes up against the harsh realities of life ....and the kids are nasty, mean, and belligerent. Baron Max
Build and maintain a trusting relationship between yourself and the child. Striking him/her out of anger can set this back by six years. Don't do it. This is a display of mental weakness, and your child knows it. If you do not know how to employ corporal punishment properly, then just don't use it at all. Encourage them to make it their personal business to save the world. I think that most children, on some level, want to be the "hero" of the tale. It is something they take to very naturally. What really frustrates many parents is how to encourage appropriate grooming habits or sit still when it is appropriate to do so. The use of off-hand tales, parables and analogies can help. These tend to focus the mind in ways that promote both imitation and habit-formation. Encourage them to find dichotomies in the people around them. A child should learn very early on to develop a sense for other people's character and behavior. This may prevent them from becoming victims of a pedophile, and it could also prevent them from being hurt in a relationship. More practically, being able to read people is very helpful in the world of business. On that note, they should also be taught how to do things like comparison shop. The idea of building up their skills in searching for dichotomies applies to all facets of life, not just dealing with people. It is often very important for survival. I think that one very important thing for a young person to learn is how to use formal, impersonal mannerisms as a barrier between themselves and people they don't think they can get along with. When you are dealing with people who have a higher mandated rank than yourself, this will often be your only viable defense. This can be taught through casual pretend play. Good luck!
Just because YOU have had a rather harsh upbringing doesn't mean that what I say isn't true. If your parents were different in the way they brought you up , you would be a different person than you are now. I only stated what I thought would be a good way to help your children or anyones children a way in which to make respect work both ways. If you cannot tell that by now then that's a problem you'll never overcome I'm afraid. It is to bad that you can't be a little optimistic about life as many people are.
yeah i found that with my daughter, if you tell a child "No" to many times then they will go ahead and do it anyway. I always tell my kids, "think about what you are going to do, and if you have to say sorry then don't do it" I somtimes use reverse Phsycology, when my son says he cant do somthing i say "no i know love, thats because your to young and still a baby" and 9 times out of ten he will go ahead and do it anyway
In my opinion, making sure that my kid is a law abiding citizen is no priority. Making sure that she is successful is, and to me that means that she lives a happy and fulfilling life and manifests her fullest potential, and only she herself will know in which direction that takes her. Regarding the law-abiding...more important is the development of a strong moral that can distinguish between what is good and what is not. If the Law said start killing Jews I would be ashamed if she simply abided ... not all laws are good ones...considering how so many lobbyists and politicians argue endlessly over how the law should be only shows further that not all laws are good and worth abiding by. Martin Luther King practiced civil disobedience, because the laws of his time where slanderous against black people. GOOD FOR HIM!!! That is how I will aim to teach my child, to first look at the law and then consider for herself using her own developed cognition if that law is worth abiding by or not.
The most effective means of dealing with misguided laws is to rise into a position of power. However, this course is contingent upon following and obeying the law. Now, I think that a better story than King's would be that of Socrates. Socrates actually teaches us part of the art of cross-examination, which involves picking apart the weak points in a given theory. Now, this skill is actually very useful for a person who intends to rise to the center of political influence, but it is also useful in that it gives one a keen, sharp sense for weak points in any given idea. For two people who are both ultimately searching for the truth, cross-examination is really a constructive, mutually beneficial exercise. However, it is very damaging to the interests of an amoral person or a person who really has a hidden agenda. Most importantly, though, I think that this skill can also be turned inward, whence it serves as our demon or "conscience." If we intend, at heart, to play more consistently with our principles, then this kind of introspection is really a pleasurable, rewarding exercise that gives us the sensation that we are "strengthening the bulwarks," as it were. And I just thought of an interesting association between this, epilepsy, and certain peculiar aspects of human feeding behavior. That would be another unnecessary digression, though. The real point is that I think that young people should be encouraged to critically examine the validity of any given rule or law. Like Socrates, though, they should also internalize almost as a religious exericise the idea that they should obey even a critically flawed law out of simple love and respect for the entity that created that rule or law unless that law is so deeply, critically wrong as to dramatically outweigh their respect for the entity which created it. This actually brings to mind a few other other interesting digressions on the nature of morality, but the sticking point is that children should be taught both of these aspects of moral behavior, and both of these ideals are illustrated by Socrates. I think that Socrates is really a very fine role model. He states that there are indeed occasions on which it would be beneficial to disobey the law, but he also states that this is very rare, even while he himself points out multiple problems with the law and guiding ideals of Athens. He gives his reasons for this.
The problems with some kids is that they can not be understood by their parents and their teachers for doing bizzare things such as : fighting with others, swearing , homework is a no no , and looking for trouble as if trouble is the only life they know.....!. Surely I never knew someone like this when I was a kid ..... althoug I am old I still have a good memeory....lool .
strange, i noticed the exact same thing about minsters of religion. Seems their kids tend to end up with STD's and pregant before they hit 16. One in paticular i know of was giving her manager a blow job in the Red Rooster Coolroom (never ate there again once i found that out)
You don't understand why kids fight, swear, don't do homework, or look for trouble? You sound like a shitty parent. :bugeye:
it seems to me that they dont do homework because they allways like to do things at the last minute, kids fight because "they just do" the alpha person and all that.
There is no sure way to make sure your kid is wealthy and a lawobiding citizen, maybe his wealth and ability to live by a controlled set of laws are not what trul makes a person great. Teach your child honour, respect, loyalty, dedication and hard work ethics. I think it is far more important how your child would treat a animal or person in need than if he has a good job. Money didn't bring me happiness and niether did living in a city with stupid and plain retarded laws (London). Values are what makes a person have certain ethical standpoints and views, What people hold precious to them they wish to protect. Make sure the child values the things that are really important, money is nice but having too much is useless unless ou help people with it. Now days I give most of my money away.
Please show us what you know Miss knows it all.....Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image! .
some parents cant understand like some can, i dont understand why children need to have sex from a young age, does that make me a shitty mum?
It is hard to understand what grown ups are doing let alone small kids.....Please Register or Log in to view the hidden image!
