Can there be love without lust?

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by Curious George, Feb 15, 2008.

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  1. Reiku

    Reiku Banned Banned

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    Yeh... me a nice wierdo...

    ...

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    Reiku, Feb 15, 2008
    #101

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  3. Reiku

    Reiku Banned Banned

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    Now now... Tab...

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    Don't you have lust in your relationship???
     
    Reiku, Feb 15, 2008
    #102

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  5. tablariddim

    tablariddim forexU2 Valued Senior Member

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    Don't worry. Red Army 11 is an old poster pal, posting under a different name now..he spells things wrong on purpose, I'm simply searching for him. Welcome to whatever these forums are called

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    tablariddim, Feb 15, 2008
    #103

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  7. Reiku

    Reiku Banned Banned

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    Awwwweee... i thought you were asking for me... sigh***
     
    Reiku, Feb 15, 2008
    #104
  8. tablariddim

    tablariddim forexU2 Valued Senior Member

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    Tough, mate.
     
    tablariddim, Feb 15, 2008
    #105
  9. Reiku

    Reiku Banned Banned

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    I'm all hurt now...
     
    Reiku, Feb 15, 2008
    #106
  10. tablariddim

    tablariddim forexU2 Valued Senior Member

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    That is soooo gay

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    tablariddim, Feb 15, 2008
    #107
  11. Reiku

    Reiku Banned Banned

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    /.... no... you don't say ;p
     
    Reiku, Feb 15, 2008
    #108
  12. Bells

    Bells Staff Member

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    Merged the duplicate thread with this one.
     
    Bells, Feb 16, 2008
    #109
  13. Reiku

    Reiku Banned Banned

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    How kind of ya!!
     
    Reiku, Feb 16, 2008
    #110
  14. tablariddim

    tablariddim forexU2 Valued Senior Member

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    You are surely an alchemist...can I have a hotdog please?
     
    tablariddim, Feb 16, 2008
    #111
  15. Bells

    Bells Staff Member

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    I don't do processed recycled meats.

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    Bells, Feb 16, 2008
    #112
  16. tablariddim

    tablariddim forexU2 Valued Senior Member

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    shaim
     
    tablariddim, Feb 16, 2008
    #113
  17. Fraggle Rocker

    Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

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    Of course there have. It's a big planet and there are billions of people. Every kind of relationship you can imagine exists, as well as a lot more kinds that you haven't thought of. Many people, probably millions but certainly thousands, are incapable of intercourse because of physical defect, injury, illness, etc. Sometimes it happens after they're already married, sometimes before.
    You're making the mistake of assuming that lust is based on physical appearance. That's more true with men, we tend more to be attracted to women just because they're good looking. But women are often turned on by other things like the way we treat them.
    Libido decreases with age, certainly. Sometimes physical ability to perform intercourse does as well. But also as you get older you learn more about the universe and you find yourself attracted by characteristics that you never even noticed.

    Libido peaks in men around age 16 and in women ten or fifteen years later than that. It tends to decrease slowly and steadily in men because its basis is almost entirely physical, but it often does not vanish. In women the cause of libido is more complicated and has a strong emotional component and it can disappear completely. The ovaries are the source of testosterone and testosterone is a key component of libido in women, so any surgery that removes the ovaries can have a devastating effect on libido. They make hormone supplements for that but it's tricky to get the dose right and there are other physiological and psychological problems I'm just not going to go into.
    Things like that happen all the time and when they do you're really lucky. Very few people maintain their physical attractiveness as they get older. Sophia Loren and Clint Eastwood are unique. Other kinds of appeal not only last but often get better. It's perfectly normal for lust to be aroused by something other than physical appearance. If you're experiencing this, then bravo for you! You are more mature than your years.
     
    Fraggle Rocker, Feb 16, 2008
    #114
  18. Roman

    Roman Banned Banned

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    I find it so dreadfully necessary and wasteful. I wish I didn't need sex. Maybe if I was autistic....
     
    Roman, Feb 16, 2008
    #115
  19. Reiku

    Reiku Banned Banned

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    I am autistic... the better kind nonetheless...

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    Semantic Pragmatic Disorder... Does good !!!
     
    Reiku, Feb 16, 2008
    #116
  20. sowhatifit'sdark

    sowhatifit'sdark Valued Senior Member

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    Not much point in having an intellectual discussion then about love and lust. Why toss in your 2 cents if you believe the above is true?
     
    sowhatifit'sdark, Feb 16, 2008
    #117
  21. sowhatifit'sdark

    sowhatifit'sdark Valued Senior Member

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    You are working top down. Let's set up the words first and then go out in reality. but the fact is we already associate those two words with certain kinds of relating. My point was that there is no reason to see lust as not love. I am suggesting that people examine their experience of these two feelings and question for themselves if they need to keep them separate. I mention my own experience as a challenge. I am working from the feelings up. This does not have to be a deductive reasoning debate, it can be an exploratory process. I don't want to prove to someone that lust is really a part of love in general but provoke a reevaluation. For those who consider them separate, why? But presenting myself as an example of someone who feels this - rather than defines it so - perhaps someone will engage with their own assumptions differently.

    So I do not think my posts are moot. I actually think you are unnecessarily narrowing the possiblities of conversation.
     
    sowhatifit'sdark, Feb 16, 2008
    #118
  22. Asguard

    Asguard Kiss my dark side Valued Senior Member

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    Fraggle Rocker, i have only 2 complaints to make with your post. 1) testorstorone is the MAJOR hormone in men and the minor in women (ie both sex's have it not just women

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    ) 2) the second point is that testosorone levels and labido dont actually coralate. They did some studies in men and found that increasing the tesotrone levels dont increase sex drive. The same studies were done in women and got the same result

    If i can find them i will post them
     
    Asguard, Feb 16, 2008
    #119
  23. Fraggle Rocker

    Fraggle Rocker Staff Member

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    Interesting. At my age I know three women who have had ovariohysterectomies. They were given estrogen supplements, but they all complained about a total loss of libido. Their doctors gave them a testosterone supplement in addition, which worked perfectly after getting the dose adjusted right for each of them. One of them is in fact a doctor and has done quite a bit of research into the issue. She assured me that testosterone is essential for libido in human females.
     
    Fraggle Rocker, Feb 16, 2008
    #120
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