Bhagawad Git and Morals: for the ones suffering

that was not my intention at all, how did i scare you?

do you mean that you should be able to punish these persecutors? you want to punish them?

what is it that YOU want? what do you need for your self? for your peace of mind?

what do you think will be of help to you?

it is understandable that you feel alone, sometimes what you want is not what you need. it seems that what you are asking for is to be able to punish these people, if that is what you want then do it. as vital one said you must act with detachment, do not gloat or hanker after the pleasure of inflicting pain. if you need to do this it must be because you feel it is right, if so then ; strike hard and low and to hell with them. hit where it hurts then turn your back and walk your own path.

regardless of what others think is right or wrong. what do you want or need to do? know yourself.

 

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Dove,

Been there and done that. It's negative energy that builds on itself. If you can get out of there, you should, before it sucks you and others down into the depths. It will leave you scarred.

 

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Dove,

But do you believe that what the Bible or the Bhagavad Gita says to be true? Are you a Christian? A Hindu? Otherwise, I don't see why you would see those scriptures as authority.

You seem to believe in karma. Then I would hope you understand that those people who are bullying you are not "evil psychopaths" -- they are only poor souls defiled by greed, ill will, fear, delusion. Seen that way, you should have compassion for them.


And you should have compassion for yourself as well. You do not have to react so strongly to those people who bully you. You are only hurting yourself. When you are upset, when you suffer, when you are angry -- you are hurting yourself.

Do you believe in God? Who is it that can give you peace and dignity? And who is it that can take them away from you?

Of course it is unfair. This is earth, this isn't heaven.

This is between you and God. People can't answer such questions for God.


* * *

Is there someone you could talk to? A priest or a monk? Is there a church, a temple, be it Christian, Hindu or Buddhist that you could go to? Please find someone whom you can talk to in person, face to face. Or phone them. Some things are easier to talk about on the phone. Many churches or temples have office hours where people can call in for advice. If you don't succeed in the first try, then try another place.

 

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Thanks again everyone.

Water, I wonder why you asked me why I consider the Bible of Bhagawada Gita as authority? What else do we have anyway? Who decides? Who makes the rules? When life seems to make no sense at all- who do we turn to? Where is that "book of rules"?

It doesn’t matter if I am a Hindu or a Christian......I know that I am a good human, I know that I don’t lie, or cheat....I have never once in my life gone out of my way to screw someone over.......but in this case, the harassment has been going on for 2 painful long years, and "being good" did 'not' help. My recipe failed.

All I want to do is to continue to operate from the fact "I should never be the one to do anything 'wrong'. All I wanted to know was, since I am basically a good human being, a victim, In this case-"revenge" and playing "dirty" (for my survival)- is probably not 'wrong' after all.

As, if I end up fighting injustice (the only was my fight can ever have even a slight chance of winning) would not be to play so-called- 'fair'. Eg lawers, talking calmly to the bullies, documenting abuse etc. As my supervisor has 'already' made it clear, that he knows that these 4 people can be unfriendly and uncooperative, but since I am a new temp, there is no way he will take any action against these 4, who have been working in this company since it was formed-they have been working here for many years, hence despite being bullies, know more about the workings of the company. Since they forced me to be depressed and not as productive as I used to be....that hasn’t helped either. As now my employer has another reason to justify what he has done, that they are being more productive then me. If they stop being so mean, I can shoot back to my original productive self in ONE day!

Given all these facts, given that the condition has deteriorated so much, and my Manager has already made his decision (The upper management has no direct control over my hiring/firing).....the only option left me is to play so-called dirty ( I don’t want to call it dirty though) ....like I mentioned in on my previous posts....messing up the files in a carefully thought out way and blaming it on the bullies-just like they have been doing to me. That is the only option I have, of course, apart from leaving my job, which I am already doing in a few months.

This is what I want: I am tired of inaction, passiveness and abuse. I want to do something. I will get satisfaction, from doing 'what ever I do’ with the knowledge that it is ‘not wrong’ after all. I don’t want to be playing their game, with fear/guilt in my heart. I want to do it with the knowledge that given the facts this ‘needed’ to be done. And it is not wrong in the eyes of God, or in my eyes.

Dove
PS: Given the fact, that God is all forgiving, he will forgive me for what I did, even if it turn out to be wrong. Right?

 

Hmm. Interesting. That passage would appear to be the guiding principle behind most, if not all, acts of terrorism and revenge. ...the idea that what "I" want to do is "okay" or "right", no matter who or what is harmed.

Will you take this same principle to your next job? Into your marriage? Into your task as a parent?

Baron Max

 

Never Baron Max, Never. I am a sensitive, nice human. I am a good person. I have played fair all my life, not just in this case. And see what I get- Fired!

Baron, I a have a question for you: The police also puts criminal in Jail right? Because it is "Ok" and "right" to put someone who has done wrong behind bars. Right? (be it murder, rape, or crimes like embezzlement) Wouldn't you call that a terrorist mentality? An eye for an eye?

The problem Baron is that we do not have Police for "Moral Crimes". And don’t under estimate the debilitating effects such crimes can have, they can be just as painful to the victims as the 'illegal-crimes'.

We don’t have a Moral Police Baron, and it’s a wild jungle out there, so what can we do to protect ourselves from these psychopaths at work who destroy careers, families and lives?

 

Dove,




I think this whole problem isn't really about your co-workers bullying you, or the lax management. It is about you, and who you think you are, what others should think of you and how you think they should treat you. And since it has been going on for two years, the real issues may be somewhat hard to see, as you have become accustomed to see only the bullying.

I found it strange that you would turn to that scripture as your highest authority -- when you don't actually consider yourself a Hindu or a Christian (or aspiring to be one).

I think this is up to each individual to decide in his or her own heart.

And there must be a reason that your recipe failed. And that reason doesn't necessarily have something to do with other people -- but much more so with you. I think it is naive to think that others will respect us and be kind to us, as long as we are a "good person".

Secondly, living life and taking part in human relationships isn't a matter of a "recipe". Of course, one can try to live life automatically, but sooner or later, this turns out to be unsatisfactory.

Ask yourself: "What am I doing that helps to perpetuate the abuse? Why am I doing that? What satisfaction is there in all this for me?"

This may sound cruel and perverse, but it isn't meant to be so. You must consider though that you have stayed in this situation for two years because there was some satisfaction in it for you.
Obviously, you need the job if you want to survive, so this is one satisfaction for you.
But there must be a reason why you have reacted the same way for two years. You must have gotten some satisfaction out of being depressed, angry, you must have gotten some satisfaction out of thinking yourself a victim.

Then I think you need to get real. You are not perfect, no human is. It will benefit you to stop doing as if you were perfect.

Being a victim does not make you a "basically good human being".
Maybe now, in contrast to how your bullies behave, you deem yourself so much better than them. And you get a sense of satisfaction out of all this.

Then you should know that anger begets anger, hatred begets hatred.
You'll never stop the abuse by force -- other than by inflicting serious physical harm on other people. But this will get you in jail, eventually.

Then I think you need to take this into account. If your employment there is only temporary, then you must consider that it is in the interest of the company to not take any serious actions against permanent employees.

Nobody can force you to be depressed, other than by injecting certain chemicals into your body.

That you are depressed over being bullied is *your* choice of how to respond to the bullying.

Right now, all you can see is that bullying, you can see nothing but that, so narrow is your perspective. Step back, look at the whole matter from a distance, from a different perspective.

It may occur to you that the other employees are merely having fun with you. You have proven, continually for two years, that you can easily be taken advantage of, that you can easily be provoked. Of course, this has excited them even more.
What to you is bullying, to them may be mere fun.

And if you ever, to your defense said to your bullies that you are a "basically good person" -- then you can be sure that they will probably like to know if you truly are a good person, and test you.

Doing such things is against the law. If you do this, and it comes out and gets reported, you are likely to get a disciplinary and be fired -- which will lower your chances of finding a new job. It may get into your job record, and the new employer will know that you are an unreliable worker.

Do you already have a new job? Unless you change your attitude to bullying and to how people treat you in general, the same situation will probably occur again.

And leaving your job is not the only option, mind you. If nothing else, you have posted at this forum, and people here may help you find another solution.

Exercise. Take care of your plants. Visit your relatives and bring them some flowers. Do volunteer work.

You will get fired if you do that. And the only one truly being harmed will be you yourself.

Do you know what God wants from you? Considering you started off by asking this very question in this forum, you don't seem to know what God wants from you in the first place. And now you suddenly do, after a couple of days? Strange.

I think this is wrong. I think you are abusing God's forgiveness.

Look what you're saying, "he will forgive me for what I did, even if it turn out to be wrong" -- so you aren't even sure that what you are intending to do is the right thing. You know that you might be wrong, yet you are willing to go through with your plan anyway. Now such a plan of action is a recipe for disaster.

If anything, you are the one who needs to do the forgiving, and change the way you relate to people and events.

 

For one thing, God doesn't give a shit about your stupid monkey politics. For another, there's the Bible of Christian fame, and then there's the Baghivad Gita, and they are two very different things.

Anyway, you should fight for your rights, but you don't have to do anything immoral. Stand up for yourself. If that doesn't work, you can sue, or you can leave. Some situations aren't worth fixing.

You should also consider the possibility that you are suffering from some persecution complex. I know someone at my work who thinks everyone hates him and is out to make him fail and get fired, but it's all in his head. He does have a profound lack of social skills, and takes anti-psychotic medication, but even that doesn't control it completely. It seems he just wants to play the victim all the time to make up for his own inadequacies. I'm not saying this is the case with you, but it might be.

 

Spider goat, I am not suffering from any disease. I have got that one checked. Its only when people go through pain themselves do they realize that all this evil and irrational hatred is real. Its not us, its them.


If you guys were exactly-exactly-exactly in my positions, then after much introspection, you all would have come to the same conclusion.....it not me, its them.
I don’t know why so often I am being suspected of imagining things.....or not looking at it from the "right perspective" ...the "bigger picture".......and a new one...I may be suffering from "persecution complex".....please ask all those 1000 of victims of workplace bullying for an answer.

So basically, most people suggest that I should suck it up as for all you know it may be just my perception. I should stay in the misery till I find a new job. By the way, litigation is out of the question for many many reasons. I should suck it up, exercise, do volunteer work in the evening, in the morning go back to the misery, get humiliated, ignore, laugh at it, or look in the mirror and ask..."what is it about me?".....Why are they calling me a "looney rat"......may be there is something loonish rattish about me.......may be I am kinda disgusting.....that explains why they make a disgusting face at me every morning when I walk in.......and may be I am a slacker and also dumb. And when I am dumb, why should they not call me dumb?

Just suck it up, and find a good new job.

Dove
PS: Forgot to add.....if the same happens in the next job, suck it up and leave. After all its not that difficult to find jobs, tolerate humiliation etc. Lets all let this culture continue. Lets all keep quiet about it. In fact....I have a better idea.....let us pretend it doesn’t even exist!!

 

dont suck it up... spit it back in their face... then leave. if need be.
-MT

 

Actually, I was in a similar situation when everyone seemed to turn against me. People were bullying me and acting evil-minded against me for no apparent reason, everyone seemed to be against me.

However, I did not conclude evil and irrational hatred were real. Instead, I read the Srimad Bhagavatam and the Bhagavad Gita. It was when I read that this world is like a dream, and just as you are affected by all sorts of disadvantages in a dream, so you are in the material world.

Instead, I concluded the opposite, good and evil are not real, and they are subjective. You don't have to be unhappy, you choose to be unhappy. You can be happy all the time, but you choose not to be, due to your attachment to the material world.

When I tried to imagine that this world is just like a meaningless dream, just like any other dream I had, all stress and unhappiness immidiately ceased. I felt this type of unfathomable bliss, the greatest happiness, the same type of happiness you get when you really really want to happen occurs.

At that point it felt irrational to have any type of negative thoughts, cares, or concerns because all this world is temporary, why get angry or upset about anything?

Anyone can experience this happiness, just simply imagine something you really really want happening. And when I say something you really really want happening, and I mean anything, assuming that there are no limitations whatsoever on you, none at all. You mind doesn't really discriminate that much between imaginary and real experiences, so you'll feel the happiness.

 

Yes...? life is a meaningless dream...?

so let people shit on your face..? and say thankyou, may i have another.?

yeah right.

-MT

 

Vital one,

Thanks for your response. I too started to read the BGita and the Bible briefly, but then gave up as it did not answer any of my questions. You are really lucky that you could find peace amidst all the negativity you went through, just by reading these books.

That is exactly what I don’t understand about the Gita, Their belief that this precious thing we call life- is just a “meaningless dream and only temporary”! is so disappointing and negative ! Lets assume this was just a meaningless dream, then what happens after that, what exactly is “waking up from this meaningless dream”…..how do we wake up from this dream?

And calling all this temporary…..well Vital one…..we have only ONE life to live!

 

No, where do you get that notion from? If you free yourself, you won't become a sitting duck, in fact you would naturally act "perfectly", not because you want to, but because it will become your inherent nature, just as a child innocently behaves.

You seem to think that you have more happiness when conditions control your happiness and distress....where do get this idea? How do you gain more happiness when you are easily manipulated and controlled by others?

It is just like Buddha says:
"It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell."

 

How is it disappointing and negative?

The situation you are currently facing is temporary, and ultimately meaningless, just like a nightmare you have while dreaming. If you realize you are dreaming while in the dream, then you shall experience your natural happiness. When something "bad" happens to you, it is just as insignificant as you having a bad dream. Why cause your own distress?

Life itself is not meaningless, the conditions you face are. In 10 years, what will your co-workers harassing you be worth? The true purpose of life is be happy.

Do you enjoy being angry, frustrated, upset, disappointed, etc...? If not, why do you continue to allow yourself to be? Why do you allow others to easily manipulate your feelings? You seem to have the notion that you will gain more unhappiness by being freed from all conditions of the material world.

When you are freed from all insecurities, how can you experience anything other than happiness?

By attaching yourself to things, you are causing your own distress, anger, frustration, etc...when your natural nature is happiness. You seem to want to perpetuate your own unhappiness.

When you detach yourself, you will not be tolerating humilation, or repressing the emotion, because it won't be humiliation, I mean your insecurities within you cause you to believe you are being humiliated, but when those insecurities disappear...how can you ever be humiliated?

Also, you will act naturally, with no selfish or unselfish motivation, just acting. When you act in this way, you do not accumulate any karma, no matter if you are fighting, walking, talking, insulting, etc...

Anything that is temporary, does not ultimately exist, if you understand this you will know how Krishna can say "I am the beginning, middle, and end" and how Jesus can say "I am alpha and omega".

 

Dove,


I have some questions for you.

What is happiness to you? What does it entail, what does it depend on? What is needed for you to be happy?

 

God says : http://fightinginjustice.blogspot.com/

Allow the bulli to get away the first time and U just gave him your license to kill U.

No, any one who relies on god is actually avoiding action against injustice so U will get nothing form thoes selfcentered cowards.

Look, U have to balance your actions here, and U r best at it to judge for U have the problems best knowledge. From what U have said its clear that U will definately loose your job. So here is what I would have done.

1) There is always no point in fighting anyone anything when U can do some thing more wonderful out of your life instead of wasting your limited time there is in the life. So first go find your soulmate who will support U maturely in such situations but who also loves U more than his life and is not a goon himself.

2) Keep yourself happy by the though that U r gona get a new job and not let anyone bully from the start over there and hence excel more that these garbage people. Get out of the garbage and find out why others bully U. U seems to be a nice juicy target, vunerable, helpless cheese, ready to be gulped. so Stop being a Dove and become an strong Ostridge to kick back on their butt (not literally but U should seems so); Being a kangaroo is even more better.

3) Here is somehting dangerous U should Do. Write a letter to all the half of the bullies ie. instead of 8 bullies write to top 4, a same letter, a letter written intelligently such that even if its given to your boss he wont react much because he already knows all that. Tell them that all of them has sexually abused here by harrasing her through ways a) ...... b ) ..... c) ..... d) e) .... And they have succeeded in all their plans and hence U r gona loose your job due to these conspiracies. "But after I loose my job due to U, no matter if I was fit or not for it according to U, for the job that boss decided to give me; I will not forget U all bullies, I will make sure U get what U deserve for this sin of yours of making me suffer so much. I havent yet thought of what to do to U but as time will pass and as I find out new ways through years of thinking I will get even with U then. I hope U have your near and dear ones wating for that day of mine to cherish."

Also add in the end that since I have wrote U this , I have told all my friends that if I die or dissapear henceforth , please tell police about U guys.

 

What you are suggesting is emotional blackmail.

 

Wrong, What I am suggesting is what U r not; A sloution to the problem.

 

Water,

In this particular situation, to answer your question> happiness is beong able to walk into my office without fear, to be treated with respect and dignity, to feel apreciated for the work I do....actually I can am even ready to let go of this last one. But in the present situation, being treated with respect (or not getting humiliated and stabbed in the back, and slandered and gossiped about) by these bullies would be happiness for me. I dont want to be superior or inferior to them. If they just leave me alone, I can continue to do my work in peace, and not come feeling humiliated everyday. Thats is hapinss for me in this situation. I am not asking for too much here, I am just asking for them to stop attacking me.

Dove