Best "confucious says" Joke.

Discussion in 'Eastern Philosophy' started by Possumking, May 11, 2006.

  1. Possumking I think, I am? Registered Senior Member

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    Spit 'em out!
     
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  3. PsychoticEpisode It is very dry in here today Valued Senior Member

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    My 2 favorites....

    Confucius say passionate kiss like web of spider, always lead to undoing of fly.

    Confucius say kissing like shopping upstairs for downstair's merchandise.
     
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  5. Hapsburg Hellenistic polytheist Valued Senior Member

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    "Girl who sits on judge's lap gets early discharge."
    -Confucius.

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  7. Dravyga ... Registered Senior Member

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    "The wise speak when they have something to say,
    the fools speak when they have to say something."
     
  8. cato less hate, more science Registered Senior Member

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    LOL!!!!111oneoneone
     
  9. Clockwood You Forgot Poland Registered Senior Member

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    "Confucious says, baseball is wrong. Man with four balls can not walk."
    Um... ouch.
     
  10. Hapsburg Hellenistic polytheist Valued Senior Member

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    ROFL! Now, that's funny!

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  11. Killjoy Propelling The Farce!! Valued Senior Member

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    Confucius say:

    "Man with hot rod burn rubber."
     
  12. Zephyr Humans are ONE Registered Senior Member

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    "Ask not what Confucious can say for you, but what you can say for Confucious!"
     
  13. PsychoticEpisode It is very dry in here today Valued Senior Member

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    Woman who fly plane upside down have crack up
     
  14. cato less hate, more science Registered Senior Member

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    man who walks through airport turnstile sideways is going to bangkok.

    man who runs in front of car gets tired.

    man who runs behind car gets exhausted.
     
  15. FlannelShirtMonster Registered Member

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    Confucious Say:

    he who sticks penis in peanut butter jar is fucking nuts.
     
  16. Chatha big brown was screwed up Registered Senior Member

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    "man who puts hand in pocket feels cocky all day"- confucious

    I have the same book
     
  17. melodicbard Registered Senior Member

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    This is a story told in an ancient book of Taoism, "Lie Zi".

    Confucious traveled east and saw two little kids arguing. He asked them what was it about.

    One said, "I think the sun is near at dawn and far at noon."
    The other said, "I think the sun is far at dawn and near at noon."

    The first explained, "The sun is as big as the shade over a car at dawn. At noon, it is only like a dish. A near object is larger than a far one."

    The other objected, "At dawn, it is cool. At noon, it is like boiling soup. A object is hotter when is nearer."

    Confucious could not decide.

    The two kids mocked him, "Who said you are knowledgeable?"
     
  18. pragmathen 0001 1111 Registered Senior Member

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    452
    Confucious say:
    "He who snorts coke, drowns."
    "He who stands on toilet seat, is high on pot."
     
  19. baumgarten fuck the man Registered Senior Member

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    1,611
    Man who goes to bed with itchy butt wakes up with smelly finger.
     

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