Attitudes to rape

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Oh I know marriage does not give this right to any person... but I was just confused on whether rape can actually happen when the two made the huge jump to get married. I assume they trust eachother and respest eachother enough at this point. However, I have never been married so I do not have first hand experience.

I do not know what, but I was considering only heterosexual rape. I think most men dream of being raped by female's, especially the "hot" ones. I am sorry I was not clear about that.

Same sex rape is not desirable by either sex and women do not want to be raped by men.

Well I do not hold to the belief that women that dress "skimpy" should accept the fact that they might get raped, but I think they need to understand that dressing in such a way opens some sort of "door" in a man's brain... and those with very little self-control just might do something about it. So I wonder, if she wore plain clothes that day instead of "sexy" clothes, would she have been raped? Did she know conciously that she was putting her body out like that? Does she crave lots of sexual attention? If all this is "yes," are we right to place even one-tenth of one percent of blame on her? I propose yes, HOWEVER.. as I said before I made the assumption that the man was fully conscious of his intents and actions. Therefore, whether or not she was inviting herself to have such an act done, the fault is fully on the male and since he had the ability to control himself, nothing should lessen his punishment.

Question: Is rape sexual contact that is not consented to the entire time? Or just not consented to at first encounter? If it's the former, then we are both working on different definitions (sort of). At times I assume the first definition, and other times the latter. Maybe I should fix that,

 

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Actually absane, some women also have 'rape' fantasies but it is generally with their partner and will involve consent, so technically not rape. But they may fantasise about being taken by surprise by their partner, they will feign resistance etc. But this type of thing has to be mutually discussed and agreed in advance and have a 'safe word' so the if the woman changes her mind, he clearly knows.

Meanwhile rape can happen in a relationship, if the woman says no and genuinely means it and the man forces himself upon her, then it remains rape. Consenting to be in a relationship does not mean you consent to having sex whenever the male desires it.

use the following guidance Ab if you are confused - no means No.

Unless it is role paly in which case, the 'safe word' means no.

Regards dress, men view women in skimpy clothing as 'easy lays, so if you do not wish to be seen as such do not dress as such. It is all very well asserting a right to dress how we please but denying the effect it has on others is ignorance. BUt still no licence for rape.

 

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ToR:

Agreed.

It makes me wonder why some people think that a drunk man cannot be raped, whereas a drunk woman can be.

 

Pj, as a promiscuous guy (lets assume for arguments sake you are) is it thus ok for you to be raped by another man, you wouldn't care?


You would not feel violated, abused, dirty, fearful of recurrance, worried about STD's, worried (not in your case obviously) about pregancy and subsequent abortion? You would not feel ashamed and afraid to tell your closest family/friends?

Rape is more than physcial harm PJ it is emotionally damaging. There is ahuge diff. between allowing and consenting to penetration and having a stranger force it upon you, possibly with a threat to your life.

Consider yourself being raped, then answer the question.

 

men can be raped when drunk, just less likely. Most men cant get an erection when THAT drunk that they can't stand or talk

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I dont know if thats true, I can get an errection when practically comatose by drink. Anyway I thought male rape was almost exclusively anal penetration from another man.

 

The belief that rape is somehow natural for a human is using false excuses. No person would feel liking raping anyone if they saw the other party as a person not an object. This is the same type of narcissistic mindframe of a criminal hurting others is okay because it is not yourself being hurt. The deception is that emotions are as much due to our internal values than just biologic drives. Emotions tend to build on top of one another, so if you feel seriously like raping then you might consider taking a look at your character, values, and self-deception and not just placing the blame on an urge. If a person respected the sanctity of anothers life and feelings as they do their own, the truth is these feelings would never escalate to the point of rape because you would stop yourself and thats the reality and the truth. People who want what they want when they really don't truly care about the rights of others because all they care about is their feelings and needs will always make excuses and place the blame on the victim or convince themselves the victim wanted it so they don't have to take responsibility or control of their feelings or actions. Clever? Not really, pretty obvious actually.

To the rapist ANYTHING that incites their sexual feelings, which are always of a depraved nature because these feelings are also rooted in a complete lack of regard and disrespect of the other person and a desire to corrupt, is fair game. Think about it, to the rapists mind, if they are turned on then somehow you were asking for it, thats how it works. The skimpy clothes is window dressing as an excuse.

 

Hi James,

Consent or lack thereof is the deciding element of whether rape occurred, but in the absence of consent a reasonable perception of consent might mitigate guilt.

Quite possibly, yes. It's called diminished responsibility (although in Australia, "diminished responsibility" only applies legally to murder, I think). The case of driving is a little more complex, since being drunk behind the wheel is itself a separate crime.

Certainly not.
As I said, I don't suggest it would mitigate guilt in all situations, and I don't suggest in any case that being in a relationship makes non-consensual sex not rape.

 

I know. I am not confused about real life. I am just making up situations in my head and asking why or how. Trying to get into the psychology and mechanics of it all.

I know cause/effect in real life. If A implies B and I do the opposite of A, I shouldn't be suprised whether B comes up or not.

 

^Are you serious? So your implying and condoning the ridiculous smokescreen that one is not responsible for one's actions if they feel like doing it. So if a person walks into a store and sees something they want and are tempted to steal, it is justified because of the degree of lust for the object? lol So if a woman has perky breasts and a man is turned on, she was inciting the rape and so its not his fault? He/she/it can be turned on all it wants, BOILING FUKING HOT, BUT HE/SHE/IT BETTER STOP THEMSELVES RAPING ANOTHER BECAUSE IT IS THEIR S O L E RESPONSIBILITY AND NO ONE ELSE'S! PERIOD! A PERSON'S ATTRACTIVENESS OR EVEN IF THEY WALK AROUND BUTT FUKING NAKED IS NOT IN ANY WAY RESPONSIBLE FOR INCITING RAPING FEELINGS IN ANOTHER. RAPE, I REPEAT, RAPE LIKE FEELINGS ARE THE DEPRAVITY AND RESPONSIBILITY OF THE PERSON FEELING THEM. ITS LIKE PRETENDING YOU CAN'T DO , CHANGE, STOP SOMETHING WHEN YOU KNOW YOU CAN AND BLAMING IT ON THE OTHER WHEN IN FACT YOU JUST DID NOT WANT TO CONTROL YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO GIVE IN TO YOUR FEELINGS.

You know i broke down on the highway one time, I'm a very preppy looking female. I had to take my car into a mom and pop garage and this is what I was wearing a long beige set of shorts midknee, dark blue polo shirt, and sneakers. This african american mechanic kept calling me over to check out my car, it seemed normal at first then when he was under the car, he kept telling me to come closer so that he could look into the opening of my shorts, they were very long and flared but he assumed he could get a closer look because they were flared. Take note, they were not tight or attractive AT ALL. Then he got up and asked me to sit in the drivers seat and check out the clutch as I was doing this he was staring at my crotch THROUGH MY CLOTHING. I FELT VIOLATED and he was obviously very turned on. Perverts are perverts no matter what you do because they are invasive because they don't respect the other person. What I know about people, if tomorow we all forego clothing and walk around in our birthday suit, it would NEVER condone the rape or violation of another person IN ANY WAY. And thats that!

 

Who are you talking to? I hope it's not me because I voted how I feel: "None of the above."

 

Geez, must be nice! I've lived for some 63 years now and life is constantly confusing me ...and changing all the time, too, to make matters even worse.

How can you NOT be confused about real life???

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Baron Max

 

Sure don't take much to make you feel "violated", does it!

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Perhaps you should consider wearing a Muslim burkah and veil, huh?

Baron Max

 

He was purposely glaring at me trying to get a glimpse of my private parts in some way, it is rude and invasive. If you can't understand that, then you're a numbskull or a neanderthal.

 

Worse. He's single.

 

Even worse than that, Sam ....I'm single AND a neanderthal!

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I've spent most of my life looking at women who bend over in front of me, just trying to tempt me to look at their hot, little pussy. They do it to try to attract some particular male, but then get offended if some other male looks, too. Sad, ain't it?

Baron Max

 

You work really hard to be obtuse, don't you? to justify your false, deceptive and erroneous crap. The point was I was not bending over, or trying to get attention, or even flirting or initiating anything. This individual was ethically wrong. Of course, there is nothing you can do about someone like this but get away. He did not treat me with the respect that should be exercised when dealing with another person. And even if someone were to flirt, they have a right to change their mind, both men and women exercise this right. Even people who go to bars looking for one night stands will dress provocatively and understand others will look or check them out but there are clear boundaries between flirting and looking at what is revealed and being invasive and inappropriate. The example you cited above the woman is wrong to bend over to get attention when other men that she does not want to attract could see what she does not want them to. This is a ridiculously narrow example because you are talking about an amoral b*tch rather than many more situations where people are disrespected and boundaries crossed where it shouldn't.

 

So what? You were there, is it against the law for people to look at others? Is it against the law to look at a pretty girl? Is there something in the look that's horribly threatening to you?

Ethically wrong? What? Just looking at you? Because he found you attractive? That's ethically wrong? Do you want people to look away whenever you're around ...to not look at you?

Respect? He didn't even know you, did he? And for all you know, he treated you exactly like he's been treating other women for years.

Personally, I think you should have been inwardly flattered, without showing anything to him, of course. He found you attractive enough to look at you, that must mean something ....even for a woman like you!

Baron Max

 

LOL. Sorry. The meaning I was going for is that I have no problem differentiating between real life and what I make in my head.

I think..