At what age sleepovers stop?

I agree. I know ppl that were perfect parents. They raised their kids better than most. The kids still got into trouble later on in life and the parents had no idea where they went wrong. How could this happen? We did everything right..........:shrug:

It happens! I hope and pray that my kids stay on the road I am teaching them. But you can't MAKE them not do what you don't want them too. When they get older they will make their own decisions. All we can hope is that what we taught them sinks in and they make the right decisions. But that always doesn't happen.

 

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If you dont mind can i use your example of not having sex till your married

as far as encoraging them not to wait untill they get locked into a marrage to try sex your right, you can to some exstent encorage them to do that by various subtle means for instance alowing there GF's BF's whatever to stay over, providing condoms ect and making sexual discussion ok

But you cant STOP them making that choice either if they chose to. Your not the ONLY infulance in there lives (as much as parents want to be). They have friends, schools, maybe chuch (wether the parents are religious or not), the media.

Sociaty as a whole atempts to infulance children as it should, cultural evolution is not perfect any more than bilogical evolution is. Actually thats incorect, i really mean genetic copying isnt perfect which ALOWS bilogical evolution just as cultural "copying mestakes" alows cultural evolution

As i said we LEARN and grow from our mestakes, and wether they are the same ones my parents made (like in my dads case getting so drunk he fell through a shower screen) wont stop ME getting so drunk i ended up asking my "mummy take me to bed" and pissing on the back fence at my 18th birthday or ending up charged with a D&D because i was so pissed off at the people in the movie in front of me i forgot to watch what i was drinking or different ones (like trying weed, as far as i know they never did) we will make them

 

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shorty_37 no all you can do is be there for them when they MAKE those mestakes and make sure its safe for them to come to you and talk to you no matter what they have done (wether its something you aprove of or not)

 

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As long as they don't get a sex change and get pregnant

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lol

 

you have lost your ever lovin mind if you think I will ever do that. We talk about sex and I have given my son condoms and when my daughter gets older, she will have birth control, but no sleep overs. NO sleep overs.

 

then how exactly do you think they will be able to avoid YOUR mestake if you dont give them a safe place to do it?

Shorty i actually knew someone going through a sex change (i cant rember which way now). They were one of the nicest people i have met actually, looked like a rather efeminate guy

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Like a lot of my friends did. In a vehicle or on a blanket under the stars. Or at the other person's house. I can give approval for my child, but when it involves someone else's child....No.

 

Orleander, can i just make one comment that MAY offend you or may not (i dont mean it to be offensive)

If you think about the mestake your refering to, how much easier on you would the situation have been if you knew help was only down the hall (or whatever) if you needed it? If you could have gone straight to your parents and known that not only wouldnt they judge you for it but that they could give you the imidiate help to get rid of the situation (the guy in this case) right then and there. How many girls (and guys as well) are raped because they arnt in a situation where they feel they can say NO and not only have it lissioned to but get help in a few seconds from there parents if its not

 

And at what age do you think you should be giving this safe place for them to do it?

GOD DAMN IT!! I agree with Orleander on this one. I won't be letting them have their girlfriends over for sleepovers.

 

Forget male rape for one miniute

How many inexperianced girls are date raped each year because they start something and then change there mind and the guy wont stop?

How many LESS would happen if that happened with "daddy" a scream distance away if needed

Personally i think in worrying about your own feelings rather than the protection of your children your being selfish

 

I agree with you.. to a point, my dad didn't believe in "date rape" he strongly felt and instilled in me that if i lead a guy on to that point then i was to go through with the act.. and let me tell ya i had a lot of guilt feelings, about that for a long time!!
I don't think that any girl in her right mind would yell for daddy in the next room if a guy was wanting to take it further then she did. They still want to be looked at as sweet and innocent and all that good stuff, i couldn't see it working.
and giving a child the freedom to have sex (not that they need it)and the protection needed is far different from offering them a bed! Give me a break, thats almost pushing them into having sex, i couldn't do it no way.
you can call it selfish if you like, the only things i have asked of my children prior to having sex is that they are "inlove" with the person, that they use protection and that they be damn sure there ready too.

 

ok, honest show of hands here: who HAS NOT had some kind of sexual event as a child involving one or more other children of the same or opposite sex? Now who did not have it during a sleep over?

 

Me, I was a very good girl.

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ang2223 im sorry you feel that way, i was raised to respect the other person and most of all to respect myself. BOTH partners can stop WHENEVER they want no matter what. I have stopped before my partner and i got off a few times not because i didnt want to do it with her but because other things (including my own feelings) have intruded. If you keep going once your partner (of EITHER sex) withdraws concent THATS RAPE.

And i would MUCH rather if and when i have a daughter (or a son) of an age where they want to experiment, do it in a place where THEY feel safe rather than in a park or a car where they could be forced when they want to stop. That also goes for an enviroment where they could come to me (or my patner) if something goes wrong (like a condom breaking)

Hell that happened to me and it was one of the worst experiances of my life. My partner and i are inteligent enough to know what to do (ie go STRAIGHT to the chemist) but i know a girl who isnt that smart and she had sex without a condom and didnt know what to do. She rang my partner in tears because she thought she was pregnant rather than going and getting the MAP. I swear NONE of my children will be:
a) that stupid (if i have to drum safe sex (in BOTH sences of the word) down there throats every day i will
or b) that alone that they cant come to myself or my partner to help them deal with the situation

I would rather stop a rape than deal with the aftermath again and i would DEFINITLY prefer that my child never had to go through that

and i would rather buy the MAP for my child than find out one day that my 14 year old (or however old he\she is) is dealing with a teenage pregnancy and the decisions that go with it.


Oh and SAM i dont belive you

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You really worry about this rape thing and not telling anyone.
My kids know they can come to me about anything. Letting them have sex in their bedroom seems like an odd way to teach them that they have a voice. Very odd.

I don't think the two have anything to do with each other.

 

Its true :bawl:

 

I believe it. Sex wasn't talked and there was no nudity about so we were curious. If sex was talked about in Sam's house, or nudity in her culture, what was there to wonder about?

My daughter takes showers with her friends sitting on the edge of the tub. My daughter is getting boobs and pubic hair. I think this is the first time some of these girls have ever seen pubic hair. My daughter doesn't understand what the big deal is. I wonder if these girls even know what a period is.

 

Letting your daughter or son have their friends over in the bathroom while they are taking a shower. Never heard of anybody doing that....Strange! I don't see what is so urgent that it can't wait till they are out of the shower!

 

Uh Fraggle, no one is arrested for kissing in public and it is pretty common in movies, even in the 1950s!

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We're circumspect about public display of sex (which can be difficult when the whole family is in a single room), but nudity and talk about sex is not unusual.

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