Argh!!!!!

Discussion in 'Free Thoughts' started by lucifers angel, Aug 2, 2007.

  1. lucifers angel same shit, differant day!! Registered Senior Member

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    Help please!!! My daughter who is just 13 has got her first proper boyfriend, i have met the boy and he seems nice enough but, she want's him to stay the night, and i dont know what to say, what to do anything, not only does she want him to stay the night but she wants him to stay in her room!! I honestly thought i would handle this situation differant than this, but i have my daughter saying "if you love me, you would say yes" and i have my conscious saying "you've got to be kidding".

    what would you lot suggest?

    should i say yes and keep an eye on the situation all night and not have any sleep, or should i say no and take the agrovation from my daughter for the next 4 weeks?

    :shrug: :argue:
     
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  3. Nickelodeon Banned Banned

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    The latter.
     
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  5. one_raven God is a Chinese Whisper Valued Senior Member

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    What's more important to you...
    Being a good mother?
    Being a "cool" mother?
     
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  7. one_raven God is a Chinese Whisper Valued Senior Member

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    I honestly don't understand the dilemma at all.

    You obviously do not think it is a good idea to allow this - where's the difficulty?

    You don't want to deal with an angry daughter?
    You don't want her to think you aren't cool?

    She's your daughter, first and foremost - not your buddy.

    "If you love me, you would say yes?"
    That's all it takes to make you fold and buckle?
     
  8. EmptyForceOfChi Banned Banned

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    10,848
    let him stay, and dont spy on her, you have to be realistic. your worried that they will have sex right. you dont want them in the same room, in the same bed. but you have to realise that if they want to have sex you cant stop them. if they dont do it in your house then they will do it somewhere else.


    they can do it at school, in a park, at his house, when your away or anywhere they are alone together. you have to just face that she is at the age where she has a boyfriend, and they are going to do stuff together.

    if they really want to do anything nobody can stop them, unless you lock her in the house 24/7 and never let her leave. wich i doubt you want to do.



    peace.
     
  9. EmptyForceOfChi Banned Banned

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    10,848


    you know that theres nothing she can do to stop them having sex. if you tell your kids to not do something, it makes them want to do it more. its better in a bedroom safe, than outside in a park or somewhere else.



    peace.
     
  10. one_raven God is a Chinese Whisper Valued Senior Member

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    You are completely missing my point.
    I'm not saying that I don't think the kid should be allowed to stay - I haven't even expressed an opinion on it.

    What I AM saying that if SHE doesn't want him to stay, caving into "But if you love me you'll do it" or caving in under the pressure that her daughter will be a bitch for the next month if she says no is the problem.

    If SHE doesn't think it's right, it is HER decision, not her 13 year old daughter's decision.
    A 13 year old girl daughter doesn't need a friend, she needs a mother.
     
  11. lucifers angel same shit, differant day!! Registered Senior Member

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    thanks one raven but i honestly think your right, for a long time i have been the cool mother, so cool in fact that she thought i would allow this to happen, now i just have to deal with an angry teenager and they are the pits.
     
  12. DanceAndExplode Fear me, for I am Death. Registered Senior Member

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    yeh i agree with one_raven.
    she's only 13 anyway. 'love' can be so blind at any age, but especially when you're young, and you're just new to it. she might do something she regrets, and then you'd most likely feel bad, because you had the power to prevent her getting hurt. not saying this guy is gonna hurt her, but you never know.
    looks to me like you're gonna just have to put up with an angsty teen for a little bit. i think thats the best thing for your daughter. and even if she doesnt see it now, she'll see it later on down the track.
     
  13. DanceAndExplode Fear me, for I am Death. Registered Senior Member

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    oh yeh, i live with my nan, and she's really protective of me. when i was going out with my ex, she made me leave the door open. and we weren't allowed to be alone for too long. it wasnt that the didn't trust me or him, she just knew how blind love can be and we might do something we'd regret.

    ermm.. i dont know how this is relevant.. but i'm just sayin that even at my age, it can be a good thing to be protective. because i know that if i'd done more than i already did with my ex bf then i wud have regreted it. i mean if i'd had sex with him.

    you just need to be really careful when being protective of her that u dont cross the line and become over protective, because that could make her rebel, and do things just to spite you. i know i've done it so thats why im just trying to warm you. if you need to talk about it talk to me thru pm's or msn k

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  14. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    No way in hell!! Is this the line he's using on her?
    Have the sex talk, get her on the pill, and stress that 13 is way to young for sex.
    Where do the boys parents stand in all this? Did they know he was thinking of spending the night?
     
  15. Tiassa Let us not launch the boat ... Valued Senior Member

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    37,884
    Go with the seven words. Try 'em out a couple times before you use 'em in action: "Young lady, you've got to be kidding." It's all about tone. Go ahead and laugh like it's the most absurd thing you've ever heard, because if it's not, it ought to be.
     
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2007
  16. lucifers angel same shit, differant day!! Registered Senior Member

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    no thats the line she is using on em to get her own way.
     
  17. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    how old is the boy?
     
  18. lucifers angel same shit, differant day!! Registered Senior Member

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    7,590
    13 he's a nice lad but i think she's way to young
     
  19. EmptyForceOfChi Banned Banned

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    this is true, but if she is allowed girls to stay over then why not boys?. as i said before if they want to have sex nobody can stop them. all you can do it say "not in my house". then they will go and do it in some park or worse.


    as for the "if you love me you would" line i agree you cant cave in to tthat. but you cant treat children like adults. you have to dominate your pack members. instead of trying to reason with them just hit them softly t let them know you are in control.

    like on the TSSST episode of southpark, that is a perfect example of how to deal with little brats. dont get down on thier level, stand tall and dominant and let them know who is boss with a little nip on the neck.



    TSSSST.

    how to control your kid.
    http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/26904/South_Park_Season_10_Episode_7_Tsst.html




    peace.
     
  20. domesticated om Stickler for details Valued Senior Member

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    My first sexual experience was at 13.
     
  21. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    Personally, my daughter wouldn't even be dating yet. In my house its 15.
     
  22. DanceAndExplode Fear me, for I am Death. Registered Senior Member

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    lol im sure that's not gonna make a worried mum feel any better! lol j/k
     
  23. Orleander OH JOY!!!! Valued Senior Member

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    whoa. I was 18
     

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