alternative spanking methods.

Discussion in 'Human Science' started by NMSquirrel, Oct 11, 2009.

  1. NMSquirrel OCD ADHD THC IMO UR12 Valued Senior Member

    had to post this link for those wanting to know what a bad parent REALLY is....
    >>>>Bad parents<<<<

    (my daughter found it)
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  3. christa Frankly, I don't give a dam! Valued Senior Member

    ok, so i didnt read all of this, I kinda got sick of reading it all..

    As the mother of a 3year old, i dont agree with tieing a child up or locking them in a closet! I will admit I have thought about tieing her up and locking her But I dont, because I know its wrong and only causes more problems. The last thing I want, is to hear my daughter SCREAMING even louder at the top of her lungs because she can't move, or is locked in somewhere.. there are lots of different ways to handle tantrums and crap..

    when my daughter is screaming because I wont let her have something I let her scream for awhile untill she starts hurting herself, or I am tired of hearing it.. I tell her to breath, and she takes a deep breath in and a deep breath out.. Let me also tell you this, my daughter, has the attitude of her sperm doner.. she is quick to snap and sometimes gets violent. The ignoring is not looking at her, and trying not to feed into the fits. I dont have much of the patients thing.. So sometimes I let my dad handle her if I know I will snap.. and by the time he gets home, Im pretty wound up and ready to run away.. and he can even tell you about her... But also at the same time, i was blessed.. considering i am a single parent, she is pretty easy most of the time. shes silly and happy...tantrums happen when she doesnt get what she wants, and that does happen alot of the time.. they are little.. they are still pushing people. corners and her, dont really work.. saying I'm getting sad, doesnt work, she is 3.. she doesnt understand emphatic feelings... we will put her in her room, and close the door, tho she will open it and come out in the hallway and try to beat down my door because she is mad at me, even tho i am not even near my room!! But what i have noticed, if i rase my voice like i am happy, and excited, and tell her to do something, she does get into a better mood pretty fast.. But at the same time, i do have the problem of yelling at her.. i am use to older kids, who do more, say more, exct... i had a point earler.. haha
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  5. Pete It's not rocket surgery Registered Senior Member

    Thank you. My children are 8, 5, and 2, so I'm at an earlier stage... but not that much earlier. It's amazing how much positive discipline can be achieved by a little lateral thinking.
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  7. Pete It's not rocket surgery Registered Senior Member

    I think your point is that being a parent is hard. It can be incredibly hard to control our natural violent urges.

    Consistency is the key, but it's not easy to be consistent between good days and days where you are really tired, run down, and short on patience.

    Practical advice? Well, that's hard too.
    Make clear, simple rules, with clear consequence. Stick to those consequences.
    Use a neutral voice.
    Give simple choices (perhaps the illusion of choice - "Brush teeth first, or sit on the toilet first?")
    Tell your child what to do, rather than what not to do. eg Instead of "Don't jump on the bed!", try "Beds are for lying down. Lie down on the bed, or jump on the floor."

    Try Jo Frost's website, or books like Discipline without shouting or spanking.

    Look after yourself.
    Get help if you need it.
    Remember that almost everyone is a bad parent at times.
    Love your daughter.
    Good luck.
  8. christa Frankly, I don't give a dam! Valued Senior Member

    the consistency thing is something I try... I am not good with routines at all. haha.. But I do try.. And thats about asll I can do...

    And I have some rules that are more inforced than others.. like if I ask her to pick her toys up in the living room, and she doesnt, I pull out a trash bag, and start throwing away..That starts a tantrum clean up because she doesnt want her toys to be tossed, but she doesnt want to do it either... I should do it all the time for the hallway, and just toss all toys that end up in my room.. hahaaa

    And neutral voice.. know for a fact I am horrid at that.. I have a short fuze, I tell her to do something, I expect her to do it, I dont want to ask her for the 20th time to do something.. I dont mind asking a few times.. she is 3! she gets sidetracted!! Oh, I should mention, she turned 3 in Aug.. so her mind isnt technically 3 yet... lol!! and I spelt that right! by god I am awesome! anyways... lol

    Squirrel and I where talking when he got home yesterday and we started talking bout my patience and stuff... and I asked him ... How is one to teach their child something they themselves do not know?"
  9. cluelusshusbund + Public Dilemma + Valued Senior Member

    Yep... nobody can do mor than they can do... an i dout anybody does as good as they shud... an serously... tryin to consistently do a good job of raizin a child has got to be 1 of the hardest jobs ther is.!!!

    When i was layed off i baby set a 1 1/2 to 2 year old little girl for 9 houres a day 5 days a week for 6 mounthes an by the end of the day i was mentaly exausted... an that was only 9 houres a day... not 24.!!!

    When i got called bak to work i felt like i was on vacation... lol.!!!
  10. christa Frankly, I don't give a dam! Valued Senior Member

    it doesnt take me to long of watching my daughter before I am ready for bed.. I am to young to be having these feelings tho.. but my 16year old neighbor is the same way.. I feel bad for the poor girl...

    it also doesnt help my kiddos doner, and I are both ADHD! my baby is smart,ad can hold attention to things and focus.. but when she gets in a mood, she is running laps around the house!! makes me wish I had another kid to play with her.. haha... but no.. srsly.. no.. haha...

    a job was my vacation! then I lost it, and thankfully my daughter goes to school half a day, 4days a week.. gives me time to finish resting before the storm.. haha..and she isnt a happy camper after an hr of being home
  11. visceral_instinct Monkey see, monkey denigrate Valued Senior Member

    My mom used to explain to me exactly why I had let her down with my behaviour, and why she would have expected better of me.

    It almost always worked. I was quite a proud child..

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