All Hail History

Discussion in 'History' started by gendanken, Jan 28, 2004.

  1. gendanken Ruler of All the Lands Valued Senior Member

    Messages:
    4,779
    ::conniptions::


    Whoever thought of adding a history section to the forums is a god. Gendanken is the masters of ceremony in this field. I suggest we stuff all of you in voting booths again for a new mod. Yes?


    Let's start with.......let's see here. Hitorical curiosities.

    Imagine running a continent oceans away while stuck in a royal palace peeing blood and running around buttnaked as parliament is meeting to question your abiltiy to be running any goddamned thing in the first place.

    This is the story of King George the III, the ugliest vampire in history other than those wannabes floating through malls nowadays wearing cheap pharmacy makeup. Fucking posers. Anyway, he had a condition called porphyria where heme enzymes usually discarded were accumulating in his body- it made him a delirious, photosensitive insomaniac that between fevers would howl like a savage and forget his own name. This is what Americans take pride in defeating? They gather annually to celebrate the brute strenght it took..........................to take candy from a baby.
     
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  3. gendanken Ruler of All the Lands Valued Senior Member

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    How about something as simple as 2 words that slipped in (only 2 little words) .....2 words that slipped in when Pepin the Short took the Roman throne being the sole reason behind the 1500 years or so of mankind having to put up with royals "assigned" by god?



    "Dei gratia" were the words written down when he took that throne long ago - "King by the grace of God" and it took us some 2000 years to get them out again.
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2004
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  5. SpyMoose Secret double agent deer Registered Senior Member

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    Well to be fair Britan was a giant empire at the time with a vast and experienced military. I don't think they left the war entirly up to thier feverish insomniac vampire king, but instead to a sizeable military force, commanded by less feverish insomniac or vampire like officers.
     
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  7. sargentlard Save the whales motherfucker Valued Senior Member

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    Yes, the sun didn't set on the British Empire for a while for a good reason.
     
  8. gendanken Ruler of All the Lands Valued Senior Member

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    Spymoose:

    And have you ever seen a pasty Brit in his uniform? He was like the velveteen gaylords you see playing with swords in the background when they're hired as extras in Monty Phython films.
     
  9. Pollux V Ra Bless America Registered Senior Member

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    6,495
    While it was not my idea entirely, when the Open Government forum was set up, I was the one that actually proposed it. Can you brief me on the legal stuff it takes to be officially declared a god? How much paperwork, on average, would you say there is? Does it matter if I'm the only god, or just one of many? Do I have to take out any kind of belief loan, with hefty interest that's paid back in blood? What do I have to do?

    Give him a break. He's an unknown historical figure. His dad, Charles Martel, stopped the Muslims at Tours, an extremely bloody battle, and kept them from ever getting farther into Europe than Spain and Turkey. They said the battle was so horrific that the Muslims didn't see that Europe was worth it anymore--and, considering how much they had taken, and what they had accomplished, that goes to say a lot. His son, Charlemagne, expanded the borders of France, established Paris (or was that Pepin?), among a slew of other achievements. So in spite of his religious devotion, he's still a pretty important guy. With an embarassing title, too.

    edit: as for moderator, I'm gunning for the job

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  10. ElectricFetus Sanity going, going, gone Valued Senior Member

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    NO WE DO NOT NEED A MOD YET!!!

    lets just relax and wait and see if we need a moderator for this sub-forum. Moderators usually end up being power hunger jerks that can cause problems and conflict, on some sub-forums the moderator may cause more damage then they help
     
  11. Spyke Registered Senior Member

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    1,006
    Nah. We gather annually to celebrate surviving long enough for the Brits to lose interest in the game. Much like the Vietnamese did to us at a later date.
     
  12. Ozymandias Unregistered User Registered Senior Member

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    799
    Spyke's right, we gather annually to celebrate the perseverance it took until the Brits got bored and gave up. Wee...
     
  13. guthrie paradox generator Registered Senior Member

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    4,089
    Hey, all you need to be a god is for people to worship you. simple huh? tehres someone claiming to be jesus in the pseudoscience forum, so youd better all hop over tehre.
    Then as for losing the colonies, they werent really worth it at the time. of course, had we realised how rich they would get, we'd never have lost them. Kept canada though. The war of independence also shows well enough how much war is a matter of money, and money is in permanently short supply, or it was until we worked out you could run a war on the national deficit, and did so in WW2. (amazing how not using gold as currency changes things) I have read that in the 18th century, until the french wars, continental europes wars were more limited, with some form to them, ie no total looting, pillaging etc, armies manouvred for advantage and tried to avoid an actual costly engagement, since wars are expensive, but then, keeping ana rmy in the field is expensive, so the winner was the one who exhausted the others purse.
     
  14. gendanken Ruler of All the Lands Valued Senior Member

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    Pollux:
    Shut up and make me a modgod. Yes?

    And after you've googled those non sequitors..........do you even remember what this thread is about?

    Historical curiosities. Don't have one....don't say anything. One plus one is two.


    Boiled Baby:
    Oh yes we do and you will make me one.

    I will never be the power hungry despot you've all been howling about here. You know it, I know it, make me a mod.

    Spike and Ozy:

    Good and well for these stupid Americans...........................but have you any historical curiosities?

    Guth:
    Wonderful.

    But have you any historical curiosities?

    Ancient Egyptians and Assyrians used to brush their teeth with brittle paste made with urine. Look how simple that was.
     
  15. guthrie paradox generator Registered Senior Member

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    4,089
    Yes I do, i just need to remember them. uummm. uuumm.
    I find it interesting you focus on the last word purse.
    brittle paste made with urine? You do know that urine was used in the making of saltpetre?
    Dammit, i was ready to quote stuff left right and centre earlier this week, had an interview for a driver/ guide for wee tourbuses round scotland, but ive forgotten it all.
    I'll get back to you about them. I'm assuming most of the peopel here will know the ones to do with sex, theyre always the first ones people pick up.
     
  16. Spyke Registered Senior Member

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    1,006
    Yeah, Caligula once appointed his horse as a senator. Read that Churchill was born in a cloakcloset when his mother went into labor at a ball. And that he tried homosexuality once to see what it was like.
     
  17. Pollux V Ra Bless America Registered Senior Member

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    6,495
    I lack the authoritau...

    I'd like to be the mod of this forum as well. "I'll look for you on the field."

    I don't believe it!!
     
  18. Spyke Registered Senior Member

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    It may or may not be true. May be something started by his detractors, but I remember it from I, Claudius. If he was as crazy as history paints him though...
     
  19. 15ofthe19 35 year old virgin Registered Senior Member

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    1,588
    There was a time in Western Europe where one's affluence in the village was measured by the size of the dung pile outside of one's domicile. Fancy That!

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  20. Spyke Registered Senior Member

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    I still think there's some truth to that along fraternity row.

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  21. Fenris Wolf Banned Banned

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    567
    Here's a historical curiosity for you - google Heliogabalus, Roman emperor. Although I suppose at the time, and living under him "curiosity" might not have been a word they'd use to describe him.
     
  22. Pollux V Ra Bless America Registered Senior Member

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    6,495
    Was he the Marcus Aurelius? I thought he was supposed to be a cool guy...as far as emperors go, anyway.

    All I needed to know about Caligula I learned from a great show on PBS, a channel that I don't get anymore. I really, really miss it...

    Son, or relative of some sort, to Tiberius, who in his later years lived on a small island where hired adults and children would pretend to be fairies. I think Caligula had been some sort of celebrity his entire life, really popular among the military because I think he was born in a tent. Maybe he was kind of like a child actor that goes nuts and loses fame for awhile...and then, all of a sudden, he's emperor!

    "It may or may not be true. May be something started by his detractors, but I remember it from I, Claudius."

    I would have liked to see the Roman Senate at the time. Did they dress the horse in a toga? Did they have a special seat for him, a trough? Very interesting indeed.
     
  23. guthrie paradox generator Registered Senior Member

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    4,089
    The stuff about Tiberius was all codswallop, according to Axel Munthe, who lived on Capri in the late 19th early 20th century. Now there was an interesting man. (munthe I mean, google for him.)
    Random other factoids:
    The Vikings broke into Meas howe, a neolithic construction on Orkney, and one left an inscription that, roughly, said he was pissed of cos there wasnt any grave goods in it. Which isnt surprising becasue it waqs built 5,000 years ago as an observatory to observe the equinoxs and Venus.
    There is a church in Glarus in Switzerland of which a traveller in the 17th century noted the Catholics and protestants were on such good terms they used the same church, one after the other.
    In Medieval european cookery a fancy way of doing things for a banquet was to trick people, by swapping the skins of birds for example, around, so that when you thought you were biting into peacock you were actually eating goose, and vice versa.
     

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