Affairs With Pupils - Why Not?

As a student, this attitude strongly reminds me of people who want to force everyone to wear a seat belt "for their own good," even though there's no risk to anyone but the seatbeltless driver. If I, as an adult, am willing to assume the risk that goes along with such a relationship, who are you to tell me that I can't?

 

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Even if you are careful, I think it stands to reason that the deck would be stacked against the teacher if the student protests and brings up the overture(s). I myself have been a teacher; in my particular case, I taught english and my tests were designed in such a way that you were either right, or you were wrong. I didn't do essays. But I remember taking many courses, especially concerning essays, where things were definitely not as clear cut. I didn't think that it was bullshit, but I definitely think that what my essays' marks should be could certainly be open to interpretation.

 

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I'm deeply thankful that I took a Young Drivers course before getting a driver's license; it opened my eyes to how many fatalaties and serious injuries could have been avoided if people only wore their seatbelts as well as practiced other safe driving techniques. But not wearing a seatbelt doesn't just put yourself at risk; it puts any other passenger at risk as well; the risk varies; obviously, it's most important for the driver to be wearing one, but passengers not wearing one poses risks as well. And this isn't even going in to all the cars around you, and how your wearing or not wearing a seat belt would affect -them-.

 

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Ah. So it wasn't arbitrary bullshit, it was just that there was no objective standard for what quality of work was required to earn a given grade, and no real way to determine whether or not the work had been graded correctly?

 

Who knows, perhaps the teachers in question did have an objective standard for it; I was a student, not a teacher at the time ;-p. In my brief time as an english teacher, I never marked any essays, either. Anyway, my basic point is that while some power differential relationships can work out, I think that the teacher/student one is especially dicey; despite condemnation of it, I'd even think that a doctor/patient setting is more amenable to relationships; if a patient or the doctor suddenly want to end things, there are other doctors. But you generally can't just step out of one course and step into another.

If a student and a teacher have strong feelings for each other, why not wait until the course is over before working on that?

 

My point is that the whole "power disparity" argument that people always make is based around the premise that I, as an adult student, shouldn't be allowed to decide for myself whether or not I engage in an activity that only poses a substantial risk to myself. Sure, you might be able to concoct some hypothetical risk that me sleeping with a teacher posed to someone else, but I doubt you could come up with anything that wasn't relatively trivial.

Now, if people wanted to argue that a school administration would be wise to ban such relationships because they greatly increased the administrative headaches, that would be different. But telling me "You can't have a relationship with a teacher because it would be too risky for you," seems pretty obnoxious to me. I'll decide whether or not I want to take that risk myself, thanks.

 

Other than what others might think of the school, I agree.

This is where I was going with it

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. Alright.

 

I think that if a teacher really wants to have a relationship or sex with a student or vice versa they should be able to as long as the teacher removes themselves from the position of teacher over the student where then grades or favoritism could be called into question as a privileges of the relationship.

 

That's what I was saying, but Nasor seemed to be saying that adult students should be exempt; but he seemed to go for the idea that it could be an administrative nightmare and that that might be a good reason for preventing such relationships.

 

and as long as the student is of legal age. I agree.

My husband was my boss and removed himself from that position before we started dating.
There are many companies that have a boss/subordinate non-fraternization law, same as the military.

 

what if the student was bribing the teacher? (ie if you dont give me my degree i wont have sex with you) or blackmailing them (if you dont pass me i will tell everyone you rapped me). It goes both ways

 

I didn’t mention the student being of legal age because I just assumed we all agreed on this point because "legally" a child cannot consent.

Legal age and child sex is another topic all together.

 

Au contraire.

A teacher cannot legally have sexual relations with a pupil past consenting age but under 18.
If the student is 18 or over, such a relationship would be a violation of the teacher's terms of conduct. In most situations they would then be removed from their position, but usually not prosecuted.

 

Where did I say that? Oh I didn't, you are just chucking your toys out of your pram. This law is quite simple. It discourages people from putting themselves in difficult situations. I already had to explain to you that it's an emotional, not a rational situation, but you don't seem to understand that.

No longer working in Education, being in education, and having no kids, I'm not being fucked with.

So at University, where papers that contribute towards a Degree are going to be marked by a lover, that's OK? You are SO naive.

How about a 17 year old?

I think you'll find these rules aren't laws, but terms of employment.

Ah, but there's the rub. While an ambulance is attending your sorry arse, for wounds that could have been avoided, it might not be able to attend someone right away for injuries that weren't their fault. Or are you too naive to understand that?

Adults at University, shagging their lecturers for credits, you mean?

When you grow up?

Lol you is teh FuNny gUy! If a complete hypocrite.

 

Listen, paramedics don't like mopping up brains, so stop being selfish and thinking that seatbelts infringe upon your rights, when you are part of a society that will have to clear up the mess you leave behind.

 

First off, paramedics are paid to deal with mangled people. It's their freakin' job. And I am perfectly willing to pay the bill for any services I receive (or have it taken out of my estate). If the paramedics don't feel that they're being paid enough to "mop up brains," maybe they should demand higher pay or find a different job.

Second, as was already (I thought) clearly explained, my point is that my having a relationship with a teacher doesn't pose any substantial risk to anyone other than myself (and the teacher I suppose, but they're also a willing participant). Sure, you might be able to concoct some hypothetical risk that me sleeping with a teacher posed to someone else, but I doubt you could come up with anything that wasn't relatively trivial. But now I'm just repeating myself.

 

No, in most countries (or at least, most western countries) minors can consent to sex with adults when they are younger than 18. Usually the age of consent is around 16-17. So you could indeed have a situation where a minor wanted to have otherwise-legal sex with an adult teacher.

 

Surely a teacher accepting a bribe in exchange for grades is already against school policy and punishable by firing. If the scenario is that the teacher is willing to violate the policy on accepting bribes, he probably won't care much about violating the policy on sex with students either. Similarly, I don't see how a policy against sex with students would protect a teacher if the student is willing to lie about what occurred. If anything, the policy would just give the student one more thing to blackmail/extort the teacher with.

 

when does that ever happen??? :bugeye:

 

Still being selfish there. While they are wasting time trying to perhaps save you, or mop up, they aren't available to help people who may have sustained injuries through no fault of their own.

Shagging a lecturer for better grades is hypothetical? If your grades were marked more highly because of your relationship with a mentor, that is cheating the other students. Can't you see that?