A Project for the Defense of Human Habitation Against Blood-Sucking Bedbugs

The extent of my apartment’s bedbug infestation is, by now, known to many of my neighbors. What may be less well known is my method of dealing with this infestation.

My method is based upon the fact that bedbugs cannot survive exposure to the temperature of 113 degrees Fahrenheit. Exposure to this temperature does, in fact, kill bedbugs at all stages of life, including the eggs, which are the most difficult to kill.

My method also includes this observation: there’s an old British Army saying that time spent on reconnaissance is seldom wasted, and, my personal history of battling bedbugs proves the truth of this adage. Besides squishing every bedbug I see (and, it’s really difficult to squish a bedbug crawling on your wall, as their bodies are already so flat that your finger pressure simply will not suffice to crush them, so that you must first squish them and then, while maintaining pressure, drag the squish across your wall so that friction can rip the bug’s body apart), I watch their comings and goings so as to locate their nests. Once I find a nest, I go into my kitchen and, in my microwave oven, I boil a mug of water (actually half a mug, for safety’s sake) which I then pour upon the nest. If the nest lies deep within the crevices of my furniture, I soak a piece of paper towel in the boiling water and shove the soaked paper into the crevice. (WARNING: this process is painful and potentially injurious!)

Bedbugs also love to build nests in books, which fact leads me to the realization that we should “Cook the Books!”, that is, once we’ve located a nest within one of our favo(u)rite books, we should deal with the problem by, first, preheating our ovens to 200 degrees Fahrenheit, and, then, inserting our books (one small batch at a time) for a period of ninety minutes.

Some of you are, no doubt, asking “Why ninety minutes in the oven for books as opposed to just pouring boiling water on bedbugs to kill them instantly?” This happens to be a matter of physics; water is much more dense than air, and is a much better conductor of heat. This is the reason why one can thaw out a frozen turkey more quickly by putting it in the sink under cold running water than by sticking it in a hot oven. As you don’t want to ruin your books by throwing boiling water on them, the oven method works best. But, to avoid fire hazard, monitor the cooking of the books VERY carefully, and have a mug of water or a fire extinguisher immediately to hand in case things go bad.

My final observation is that, once I thought I’d really eliminated my infestation, I noticed bedbugs crawling up the wall in one certain corner of my bedroom. Just as I was trying to figure out how this could be, I saw a mouse coming out of my register very near to where this parade of bedbugs seemed to originate. As cute and sweet as mice may be (and I personally love the stuffing out of them!), mice just happen to be a primary vector for the introduction of bedbugs into human habitations. Tragically, mouse control must be a part of any serious attempt at bedbug extermination.habitations. Tragically, mouse control must be a part of any serious attempt at bedbug extermination.

 

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We used to hunt them with BB guns, but that was outside in the fields and a very long time ago! Ah, the memories of big game hunting...

I live out west. I have heard you folks have a problem with home invasions by the critters. No suggestions on control, as a BB gun is probably not an effective or desirable means indoors.

 

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thats not true james

http://medent.usyd.edu.au/bedbug/

http://medent.usyd.edu.au/bedbug/bed_bugs_factsheet.pdf

 

You mean there is an insect that Australia does not have a bigger more poisonous variety of?
How did that happen?

 

It is imported.

 

there is likely a simple method for understanding when sheets should be cleaned (other than the common methods of indication of soiling like: residues from night sweats, incontinence, blood and/or sexual related discharge)

I would suggest the potential of "scent". What I mean is that when a person cleans there sheets, they might well use a particular fragrant fabric softener and/or particular washing powder. Such cleaning products induce a fragrant smell for a duration until it wears off. While I can't say if such fragrances are prolonged enough to use as a linen changing indicator, I'm pretty sure something could easily be developed. (Failing that, Calenders work)

Incidentally wouldn't it be possible to develop some sort of chemical that has an adverse effect on bedbugs, perhaps making a pungent smell that makes them want to stay away because it interferes with their censors.

Obviously this points to research in Chemistry and Biochemistry.

 

Bedbugs,I just watched a show on em.I'm not kiddin they have multiplied 500 fold across the US and are a very serious and expensive bug to get rid of. There were a handful of families on the show interviewed and their homes were devastated by bedbugs,some people had tried every known commercial and home remedy without success.One Woman had to up and leave everything she owned to start a new life cause the bedbugs just wouldn't be killed.Another family spent 31k fighting the critters,I guess in some areas the bugs are very resistant to commercial sprays. It was very sad seeing the extent of blood and feces all over the homes.There is one basically guaranteed way to kill off all the bugs in ones home,not cheap though.A company has found that raising the temperature in the home to 140 degrees for a few hours will off the bedbugs.You seal off the home and run propane air forced heaters,doing this does the trick.Problem is so many people dont have the funds to go this route.Whats a person to do,ho hum....

 

Your post made me think of microwave treatments for termites. I am not sure of the cost but it sounded like it was likely less that heat treating, which can also be used for termites.

Just a thought.

 

By the Gods, bed bugs sound disgusting!

I remember once going into a house in AK that was infested with fleas. The people there just lived with them. I choose to sleep inside my car in the backseat it was THAT disgusting.

 

My solution is quite controversial, stop immigration.

 

Wow.
You just run the vacuum cleaner every day really well for a week, and sprinkle borax all over before so doing.
Fleas are really bad down here, they have an ideal environment. We have dogs and cats, and my lungs can't take spray.
But the vacuum sucks them up.


I wonder if coating a mattress in borax and then leaving it uncovered would kill the bugs.

 

we had a problem with flees which i couldnt treat chemically because i have marine fish (and posioning them would be BADDDDDD), but i actually found a flee treatment which not only seems to get rid of them on the animals but also kills the basteds everywhere else too (dont ask me how it works, i just know it does). It took about a week and basically the flees were gone everywhere

 

did u try using bait and barrier methods, if i remember right they are attracted to warmth and CO2 and will climb walls just to walk on the ceiling and fall off onto ur bed just to get a meal. u need to completely seal ur mattress with plastic liner or garbage bags taped together, then take 4 bowls and sit the legs of ur bed into them and fill those with water to act as a barrier, they cannot cross water and drown. also u need to place sticky tape in a square on ur ceiling above ur bed. rip up the carpet if u got any in ur bedroom and paint the wooden floor then sprinkle lime and diatomaceous earth everywhere (after paint dry).

 

Considering what a problem they are once you get the problem, it seems a little preventive education would help a whole lot more. So where and how do most bed bugs find a way into peoples homes? The number one reason is people bring them home from their travels. Even the most expensive hotels have bed bug problems, and they sure as hell won't tell their clientele about it.

When traveling make sure your bags and suitcases are away from the bed area. All clothes that you took with you need to be run through a dryer before putting them away. Most dryers heat up to over 140 degrees and will kill any bed bugs before they can infest your home.

 

Bring on global warming . If we hit 113 world wide we can kill all the little bastards and then they will be a myth for ever more . Burn Plastic today . It is your civic duty .

Note : this is a joke and by no means a serious suggestion to go and burn big rolls of plastic . No tire burning either

 

I just thought of something that might be useful. What is the current best way to keep little blood suckers off our pets? Neck drops or collar. Medication through the skin so the little blood suckers get a dose every time they suck your blood.

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A little sense of revenge in this case sounds good.